Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How can I find out 'who I am' and be comfortable with what I find?

raeanna74 · 05-02-2004, 08:25 AM

I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life until I was 20. I didn't marry until I was 24. Only in the last two years have I become comfortable with myself. I'm 30 now. I still couldn't even put into words "who I am". It's just a sense of "I am". I exist. I have likes and dislikes that can change at whim. I'm constantly growing and changing and perfectly knowing who or what I am doesn't matter as much anymore. I am constantly learning about myself and those around me. My friends and family help to define me as well because the "Birds of a feather flock together" is so very true. Your friends and family influence what you do and like in so many ways and even unconciously. That's ok. You still get to choose your friends.

As a teenager and young adult in my early twenties I would do the same as you, trying on different personalities. I had one friend who was austrailian whom I hung out with a lot. I picked up his accent partly unconsiously and partly conciously refining it to the point that we had people ask us if we were brother and sister. It's no different than trying on clothes to figure out what you like and what you don't. It's a good way to explore who you are. Just as long as you don't fall into the trap of thinking that you have to act like someone else to be excepted. Trying on other personalities I think is very natural.

Working as a teacher I saw this a lot. When school started in the fall I could watch the students change their behaviors quite quickly to fit the behavior and attititudes of their friends in class. You could watch one boy walk into school and talk to a friend and when another friend of his came in that had a constant swagger and slouch the first boy would instantly slouch and develop a swagger. Whether it was unconsious or not doesn't matter too much. It's just something we tend to do.

Enjoy your search for who you are. It's a constant exciting quest. Personally I don't think it ever ends.

05-02-2004, 08:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life until I was 20. I didn't marry until I was 24. Only in the last two years have I become comfortable with myself. I'm 30 now. I still couldn't even put into words "who I am". It's just a sense of "I am". I exist. I have likes and dislikes that can change at whim. I'm constantly growing and changing and perfectly knowing who or what I am doesn't matter as much anymore. I am constantly learning about myself and those around me. My friends and family help to define me as well because the "Birds of a feather flock together" is so very true. Your friends and family influence what you do and like in so many ways and even unconciously. That's ok. You still get to choose your friends. As a teenager and young adult in my early twenties I would do the same as you, trying on different personalities. I had one friend who was austrailian whom I hung out with a lot. I picked up his accent partly unconsiously and partly conciously refining it to the point that we had people ask us if we were brother and sister. It's no different than trying on clothes to figure out what you like and what you don't. It's a good way to explore who you are. Just as long as you don't fall into the trap of thinking that you have to act like someone else to be excepted. Trying on other personalities I think is very natural. Working as a teacher I saw this a lot. When school started in the fall I could watch the students change their behaviors quite quickly to fit the behavior and attititudes of their friends in class. You could watch one boy walk into school and talk to a friend and when another friend of his came in that had a constant swagger and slouch the first boy would instantly slouch and develop a swagger. Whether it was unconsious or not doesn't matter too much. It's just something we tend to do. Enjoy your search for who you are. It's a constant exciting quest. Personally I don't think it ever ends. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma. Last edited by raeanna74; 05-02-2004 at 02:07 PM..