Quote:
Originally posted by jumprun
I'm willing to do what ever it takes to save our marriage, but as I've said to her, the ultimate decision is her's.
I think she needs to figure out what can she live with:
1. Splitting up our family to satisfy her need for self control.
2. Staying together and trying to find a way to live with the idea of not being able to put herself first.
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I'm confused -- if what she needs is control over her life and you love and want her so badly, why aren't you giving her that control? Why are you saying she has two choices, the second being "find a way to live with the idea of not being able to put herself first"? Why can't she put herself first and still be married? How can you help her put herself first?
I think you have a good idea in giving her a "break." But don't just do it for a weekend now -- make a commitment to a break once a month, a quarter, a year -- whatever works for both of you. When your wife learns to care for herself better and have control of her life -- she will have more time and energy to focus on you and the child.
Maybe she would consider going to counseling with you and working on these issues. They are not insurmountable -- just daunting.