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Old 04-19-2004, 10:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
Pacifier
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Location: Duisburg, Germany
First, Thanks for all your replies.

Quote:
Originally posted by bermuDa
From what it seems, you both had a major communication error.
Yes that seems to be true, we're both a bit aggrieved when it comes to relationships. So there was never a real chance maybe.

Quote:
Originally posted by bermuDa
Did you know about her past relationships before you told her this?
A bit, but not in details. We had a major conversation after i told her. Needless to say that made me feel really stupuid.

What made me push forward were my good feelings about this, I felt so secure, safe and confidence when I was around her and felt the same, I know that. All this made me optimistic that this could work, normally I'm very pessimistic, but with her I though it could work. I panicked, I though I had to do something but didn't knew what.

In the past I had the feeling that I was too passive, that I didn't showed the girls that I was interested, it seems this time I made the exact opposite error.

Quote:
Originally posted by bermuDa
Considering your feelings now and the way this girl has retreated, I'd say the best thing for the both of you is to spend some time apart.
Yes, I know that. It is kind of hard, but probably the best thing to do.


Quote:
Originally posted by doncalypso
Obviously she has her own demons to face and you shouldn't have to deal with that.
Yeah, I don't have to, but I want to, to help her to overcome those demons. Not for me but for her.

Quote:
Originally posted by doncalypso
Maybe the day she's ready for a serious relationship you could look her up, but I doubt it's ever gonna happen anytime soon, so you'd be better off forgetting about her and move on with your life, son.
I don't want to forget her. I want to try to be just me around her, perhaps to show her that I'm still there, and perhaps some day....
but I'm afraid that are just dreams.


Quote:
Originally posted by Kryptik
My advice would be to take what you've learned from this experience and apply it to the future.
Yes, thats what I' trying to tell me, but I'm not listening.
I try to say "hey that was a great time, you made mistakes, learn and move on" but I somehow can't.
I still pull me down for making that stupid mistake, and that is a habit I have to overcome I know. I still think "hmm, perhaps you can make up for that, after all we shared good feelings and perhaps that could come back"
How I wish that I could turn back the time.

Quote:
Originally posted by Kryptik
The next time you have the opportunity to start up a conversation, do it, don't just sit there thinking you should. Keep the communication lines open and flowing from the beginning.
Yes I know. Somehow I know all this but fail to do it.


Quote:
Originally posted by Kryptik
We've all made mistakes and fucked up some relationships. The key is to get back out and give it another shot. Don't get down on yourself and let another ten years go by.
hard to do, I'm so afraid of another missed chance, I don't want to fall down again. I find it hard and exhausting to stand up again and rebuild up all my broken defences.
__________________
"It seems to me that the idea of a personal God is an anthropological concept which I cannot take seriously. I also cannot imagine some will or goal outside the human sphere. Science has been charged with undermining morality, but the charge is unjust. A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death
— Albert Einstein

Last edited by Pacifier; 04-19-2004 at 10:49 PM..
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