it's good, but you've fallen into a common trap that i often do by putting lots of descriptive sentances in, but not really letting them flow.
for instance when you first describe your grandmother as both very smart and old, try throwing in something like 'my grandmother is as old as she is smart', it takes a bit of dictionary work to get it worded, but examiners love it when you use english phrases in german, instead of just reeling off sentance after sentance.
otherwise, very good.
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