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I have had a similar experience with a wonderful lady a while back. The whole idea of sex made her really tense. she was early 30's, and had but one boyfriend, that she had been intimate with. besides the lubes...the most important thing is not to make it a commanding all thought out project thing... Have FUN! make it into a game of sorts, get her comfortable and relaxed...And like you stated slow, very slow, don't force the issue.. Get the atmosphere right...Maybe popcorn in the micro.. great smell.. ice cream feeding and kissing...DON"T forget the romance factor before hand either, a nice card, flowers, a light lunch, walk...Let her bring up SEX....
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LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC"
"Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad"
Quality is for those who know
what they want and are at peace with what they have.
"S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker
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