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tecoyah · 04-10-2004, 05:20 AM

I must admit to being torn between replying to your post, and giving into the fear of failing to give good advice. Just as in a physical community, we all need to help each other, and that has outweighed my trepidation here.
You seem to have a clinical depression, but one based on perception, rather than chemical imbalance.

I am not a psycologist, and would like you to take this advice as a friend talking to a friend, not as a perscription.

I was in a failing marriage, which created many of the feelings you are experiencing for several years. In years three of seven I came to a realization. I had been under the belief that I had no control over the negativity, and black times I was going thru. One day I came to understand that I was actually the ONLY one who had control. All the emotions and depression I felt was a result of mental patterns I "allowed" to dwell in my mind.
After reading much eastern literature, I understood that if I thought of life in a different way, I could be happy, and content with my situation. The key to all this was understanding that the events in my life were not negative, but neccessary for growth. I began to evaluate the path of my life and came to the realization that there was nothing truly wrong, and I was simply blind to the benefits of experience.
Life will have many trials, and we have but two choices in them.

1) let the trials of life guide our mindset, and become bogged down in the hardship.

2) Live the trials and try to understand the "why" of it all. Grow as a person by learning from the experience.

If you really think about it, Life is nothing but a stream of experience. It is up to us to change the way we percieve these experiences if they are hampering our growth.

I know this is of little value right now, and please take it for what it is, Just another perspective from someone who actually cares to share. There is only one person who has the answer that will work for you, and I think you know who that is.

04-10-2004, 05:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	I must admit to being torn between replying to your post, and giving into the fear of failing to give good advice. Just as in a physical community, we all need to help each other, and that has outweighed my trepidation here. You seem to have a clinical depression, but one based on perception, rather than chemical imbalance. I am not a psycologist, and would like you to take this advice as a friend talking to a friend, not as a perscription. I was in a failing marriage, which created many of the feelings you are experiencing for several years. In years three of seven I came to a realization. I had been under the belief that I had no control over the negativity, and black times I was going thru. One day I came to understand that I was actually the ONLY one who had control. All the emotions and depression I felt was a result of mental patterns I "allowed" to dwell in my mind. After reading much eastern literature, I understood that if I thought of life in a different way, I could be happy, and content with my situation. The key to all this was understanding that the events in my life were not negative, but neccessary for growth. I began to evaluate the path of my life and came to the realization that there was nothing truly wrong, and I was simply blind to the benefits of experience. Life will have many trials, and we have but two choices in them. 1) let the trials of life guide our mindset, and become bogged down in the hardship. 2) Live the trials and try to understand the "why" of it all. Grow as a person by learning from the experience. If you really think about it, Life is nothing but a stream of experience. It is up to us to change the way we percieve these experiences if they are hampering our growth. I know this is of little value right now, and please take it for what it is, Just another perspective from someone who actually cares to share. There is only one person who has the answer that will work for you, and I think you know who that is. __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha Last edited by tecoyah; 04-10-2004 at 05:22 AM..