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I am not exactly in your situation, either, although I do have a stepdaughter who is 8 and my husband & I have a son together, who is 4. There are some jealousy issues, but not like yours.
The only wisest thing I can suggest is bring it up to your SO, it's her position to do something about it if she feels necessary. She may want to have a talk with her son about this, explaining that he is welcome to call you daddy, but that somehow explaining in a non-detremental way that you are not his father. Just bring it up with her and let her make the call on what to do about it.
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