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Giant Hambuger-- the "Hold the Pickles" move is the funniest thing I've ever heard.
I would be the Chess Grand Master Bobby Fissure!
Moves include:
En Passant, in which I pin you with my butt over your face and break wind.
The Fool's Mate in which I basically hump your leg until you submit.
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I hold with those that favor fire.
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