Thread: Are we NUTS?!?
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Old 04-01-2004, 06:12 AM   #26 (permalink)
lurkette
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Quote:
Originally posted by Prince
Well, I'm no expert in anything whatsoever, but I'd say do it.

Okay, a lot of people have pointed out that "D" isn't sure about things in the long run, and how would the kiddies feel about you sleeping together blah blah blah...

However, it would seem to me that what carries your relationship on with this couple isn't sex - but more than that. It's friendship, perhaps even love. You could stop the sexual part of it all, and the friendship and everything else could quite well remain.
That's exactly how I feel about it. The level of intimacy we've all developed is well beyond what most 1-2 year-old relationships look like, and I can't see any of us doing anything that would jeopardize that.

Plus, we practically live together as it is, at least on weekends. For the past, oh, 2 months we've either spent the weekend at their house or they at ours. Granted, it's different when you're doing it 24/7, but not really THAT different.

Quote:
Family is important. It's the greatest form of wealth there is. The coming together of two families to form one should be done discreetly and carefully, but also should be welcomed and appreciated and cherished.

I applaud your courage and wish you the best with whatever you decide.
Thanks!

To answer a few questions/concerns that have been raised, the house we were looking at is in fact a duplex, which is perfect! It gives us a measure of autonomy at the same time it gives us immediate access to each other. (It's also good "cover" - much less eyebrow-raising than actually sharing a house, though they wouldn't mind that either.)

D's reservations about long-term-ness were about the "sexual limbo" part of the relationship, and 1. she often just says stuff to get it out in the open and the very act of saying it resolves the issue for her - I've seen her do it frequently. So this is not necessarily a "deal-breaker). 2. Even if the sexual part of the relationship did end, I would still want to spend as much time as possible around them. I adore them and want to be with them and make them happy. And I am pretty sure they feel the same way about us.

I guess the vague "what-ifs" don't bother me - I'm fully confident that we could work anything out. But I definitely agree with the folks who have said we need to be sure that everyone is on the same page and has realistic expectations and that we all want the same things.

Thanks, and keep the feedback coming!
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