While I can't completely know exactly what you are going through. I share some of the same experiences. I dont' have OCD but I am an Agoraphobic.
It took me forever to get to sleep. I could be dead tired and still needed 30-60 minutes to get to sleep. My brain would run furiously over scenarios of things that could happen, of things that would trigger a panick attack when I would have to leave the house. Even horrible things like being killed in several different ways, which were only horrible because death seemed like it would be a release from what I had to experience every day.
I became like someone with OCD because to live my life, I had to create repititious patterns. I had to do things a certain way in a certain order to help prevent an attack when would leave the house.
I thought my problem was unique for so many years. I had read up on Agoraphobia when I was grasping at straws to figure out what was wrong with me and couldn't find anyone who had the same panick attack trigger like mine. Only through therapy and medication have I been able to decrease the problem so I can live a more normal existance.
And I know what you mean by trying to get people to understand. I thought there was no way they could ever understand my problem. But the idea is not for them to understand it, because to do that they would have to live with it too, and I wouldn't wish this problem on my worst enemy. The idea is not for them to understand, but to be supportive.
|