CheeseButtons

I have OCD. That's obsessive compulsive disorder for those that don't know. I dont really know how bad I am compared to other people with ocd, but all I know is that some people take it differently, and do different things.
Last night was the worst sort of "episode" I've had. I call it an episode, because I have good days and bad. I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep, and my mind would just not shut off. On the contrary it was going faster than it ever has...I was thinking about everything and nothing at the same time...guilt for things I do wrong is a big part of it, but also I think my mind likes to scare itself...I have terrible thoughts/visions/images that pop into my head...and sometimes I just have to shake my head to get them out. I was getting very scared last night, didn't know what to do, prayer wasn't helping much, and there was nobody I could talk to. I was almost shaking, and felt close to crying from fear.
I put on my headphones, and put on a cd of soft songs...that eventually put me to sleep. I felt fine this morning when I woke up.

OCD runs in my family...my dad was worse than I am, and each of my sisters has it in different ways. I actually met a girl recently that is very much like me in the way she thinks, and processes things in her head...it is a comfort to be able to understand each other.

Dave

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Sorrow is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart. -Ecclesiastes 7:3