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The first thing I would do is let this woman know EXACTLY how I felt about the situation. Personally I'm not hung up on the May(M)-September(F) age difference but he is a young one at 21 and not likely ready for a woman with a child (but who am I to know that about him...it's just a guess). I would tell her how I felt specifically about the geography and about the fact that I feel for her as a very dear and close friend but that there will not be a romantic side to the relationship.
Is he certain that she's even thinking that way or is she really just opening up to a friend? Mixed signals are hard to read and easy to misinterpret. Tough situation but being open about it should work.
Hope this helps.
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What are you willing to give up in order to get what you want?
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