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Since he obviously wants to spare her feelings, the easiest way is to just lengthen out the time he talks to her. Don't be there for IMs, take longer to answer e-mail. At 35, she isn't going to be stupid about it. However that is a bit passive aggressive, but it is used quite frequently because it is easy.
The forthright way is to just come out and say it in a nice way. If she overreacts at that point, it is her problem. She might actually be relieved. You just never know.
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