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after careful research
And study. I think I may have cracked the woman's secert code.
Subject: 13 Things PMS stands for
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect
THE HORMONE WARNING:
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are
days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he
takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as
common as a driver's license in
the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or
significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for
dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples
left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with
that?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.
And remember: Money talks.... But Chocolate
sings
In conclusion. I have determed. that this study could be a hazard to my health and sex life. So no farther research will be conducted. (By order of the wife with a really REALLY heavy frying pan standing over me)
__________________
What's the difference between congress and a penitentiary?
One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
~~David Letterman
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