H12

I've got a grudge that has cost me quite afew things lately, and I feel like it's well-placed. However, the opinions of my friends are mixed, and it seems to be costing me alot lately. So, here's my situation...

For about a year around two years ago, I was best friends with Jon. We had always been cool with each other, joke around, and whatnot, right. He graduated high school and went to a near-by college, but was too far away to live there and see his long-term girlfriend (Ashley) much...so I offered to let him half-way live with me; he moved in his drumset and stayed the night plenty of nights. That year's November, though, was when she broke up with him. He went suicidal, and mostly relied on me to be with him in person and be on the phone with him every chance I could to try to talk him out of it. This lasted for afew months...

...Meanwhile, I liked Monika, a girl who had just moved into town. Back then I was a really shy guy, but me and her had gotten fairly close. I told Jon, and he swore to God that he would help me get with her, no matter what (those were his words). Jon would talk to her on Messenger and get her to get out with us so Jon could help her get with me. The three of us hung out all that weekend, pretty much, and we had a good time. Monika and I never got together, or even kissed, but we had fun.

Afew weeks later, I was riding around with Monika, and she informed me of something I was left in the dark about: Jon and her had made out afew times just days after that weekend. I was never mad at her, but I was shocked...so I talked to Jon later than night and asked if him and her had anything going on, and at first he denied everything. I told him I heard straight from her, where he replied "Well, I didn't think kissing counted". I found out later Monika didn't like me like that, but it was insulting for Jon to go about this the way he did. To this day, he never apologized for it.

Angered, I let it go because I was a passive pussy who tries to avoid conflicts. I figured it was his first mistake, so I could just let it slide. Later on, I had heard two different rumors about Ashley and her new boyfriend. Treating Jon like the friend he was, I filled him in, but under two conditions: to not talk to Ashley about it for afew days because she'd know I told him, and not to tell anyone I filled him in (I also told him over and over again they were just rumors). He agreed calmly, then would call Ashley 30 minutes later crying out exactly what I told him, then tellin' her I told him. She would then tell her boyfriend, and he would try to start shit with me. I understand that I probably shouldn't have told him, but I felt like friends inform friends at the time, so I told him...and because of that, that really hurt my image for awhile. Jon did apologize for all that, but it wasn't that big of a deal to me at the time; I hated what went down, but I didn't blame him for what he did...so just a bitter taste in my mouth, but not much harm was done.

Fast-forward about two months forward. Jon had just started to like a girl named Wendy. I offered to take Wendy to a ballgame because she had no ride, and we had alot of fun. We never kissed or nothin', but I decided I liked her too. I didn't want to make the same mistake Jon made though about Monika, so I told Jon later that night that I liked Wendy, too. He said "Well, I hope you get with her then", leading me to believe he was goin' to back off, right...wrong. The next night, he takes her to a ballgame, and Wendy tells me he was all over her. I wasn't so mad at the fact that he was going for the girl that I liked as I was at the fact that I could no longer trust him.

It was then that I decided I don't want to keep a friend who's going to trade my trust for a shot at about any woman. I had done so much for him, even so much as giving months worth of my time to keep him alive, yet I couldn't keep myself from feeling betrayed by him one too many times. I had also realized that his personality is not much more than a bag full of one-liners, so I feel like he's gonna make the same joke over and over again, thus being a boring person to hang around anymore. He moved to Chattanooga last June, so that made it alot easier to just forget about him and not put up with his crap anymore.


I can get into the ways he's cost me since then because of my grudge, but until it's requested, I'm not gonna mention it so the topic can just focus on whether I should hate him or not. So...should I hate him, or am I just being far too angry about this?

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit."
--Aristotle