Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - The affair

babaloo · 05-02-2003, 08:48 AM

Yes, no question that the kids come first. There are a total of 4 involved (2 and 2) and so it's tough. The kids are first and foremost the highest priority.

But my own personal experience is of parents who stayed together way too long "for the kids". They were unhappy, and I knew it. I was 13 when they finally divorced. They should have done it years before. In my case both sets of kids are young enough for it to be, IMO, less tramatic than when they have a better idea of what is going on.

So the real question is are happy divorced parents or miserable married parents better? I feel that I'm doing my kids more harm than good by staying in a relationship that just drains the life out of me.

But you're point is well taken. As was said before there are really two issues here - one or more failing marriages and an affair to fill in voids that exist in both of our lives. I need to solve one issue at a time, always looking first at what is best for the kids - both sets.

No need to apologize for being harsh. People need harsh sometimes. I appreciate your thoughts.

05-02-2003, 08:48 AM	#15 (permalink)
babaloo Upright	Yes, no question that the kids come first. There are a total of 4 involved (2 and 2) and so it's tough. The kids are first and foremost the highest priority. But my own personal experience is of parents who stayed together way too long "for the kids". They were unhappy, and I knew it. I was 13 when they finally divorced. They should have done it years before. In my case both sets of kids are young enough for it to be, IMO, less tramatic than when they have a better idea of what is going on. So the real question is are happy divorced parents or miserable married parents better? I feel that I'm doing my kids more harm than good by staying in a relationship that just drains the life out of me. But you're point is well taken. As was said before there are really two issues here - one or more failing marriages and an affair to fill in voids that exist in both of our lives. I need to solve one issue at a time, always looking first at what is best for the kids - both sets. No need to apologize for being harsh. People need harsh sometimes. I appreciate your thoughts.