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raeanna74 · 03-09-2004, 04:47 PM

Ustwo gave some excellent advice.

A couple things I might add. A rule that you may hear fairly often in the lifestyle is "No means no." Meaning if you ask for something, even just a phone number, and the couple says no then don't ask again. They now know you would like their number so when and if they want to give it to you they will. If you push for something like that or even more serious you can get escorted to the door pretty quickly.

I would say about half of the swinger clubs that I know of don't even allow single men. It's not a popular thing with the couples to have a single guy around. Most of them are into it for another couple and a complete swap. As has been mentioned already it's possible that the guy may be bi. Make sure you ask questions and talk about things beforehand.

That's an excellent idea, to meet in a bar first and then leave from there if you are interested. We've gone that avenue many times when we didn't know a couple to begin with. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Even blatent ones like "Do you ever get jealous of a guy being with your girl?" or something along that line. From what I've seen most swingers are pretty comfortable talking about their preferences and feelings on the subject of sex.

Ask them how long they've been into swinging. The ones that have been into it for more than 2 years seem to me to be a little more stable. i.e. the guy won't get uncomfortable with the situation mid-fuck. I've found the older couples seem to have fewer hangups. Older meaning mid 30's and up. Most couples who've done this long enough will have their own cues and recognize when the other is uncomfortable. I've never met a couple where the guy freaked about about my hubby being with his girl or visa versa.

Otherwise. I wish you good luck and have fun. Communicate and respect are probably the best things to keep in mind when swinging. Don't be afraid to ask any question no matter how sexually intimate.

03-09-2004, 04:47 PM	#14 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Ustwo gave some excellent advice. A couple things I might add. A rule that you may hear fairly often in the lifestyle is "No means no." Meaning if you ask for something, even just a phone number, and the couple says no then don't ask again. They now know you would like their number so when and if they want to give it to you they will. If you push for something like that or even more serious you can get escorted to the door pretty quickly. I would say about half of the swinger clubs that I know of don't even allow single men. It's not a popular thing with the couples to have a single guy around. Most of them are into it for another couple and a complete swap. As has been mentioned already it's possible that the guy may be bi. Make sure you ask questions and talk about things beforehand. That's an excellent idea, to meet in a bar first and then leave from there if you are interested. We've gone that avenue many times when we didn't know a couple to begin with. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Even blatent ones like "Do you ever get jealous of a guy being with your girl?" or something along that line. From what I've seen most swingers are pretty comfortable talking about their preferences and feelings on the subject of sex. Ask them how long they've been into swinging. The ones that have been into it for more than 2 years seem to me to be a little more stable. i.e. the guy won't get uncomfortable with the situation mid-fuck. I've found the older couples seem to have fewer hangups. Older meaning mid 30's and up. Most couples who've done this long enough will have their own cues and recognize when the other is uncomfortable. I've never met a couple where the guy freaked about about my hubby being with his girl or visa versa. Otherwise. I wish you good luck and have fun. Communicate and respect are probably the best things to keep in mind when swinging. Don't be afraid to ask any question no matter how sexually intimate. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.