Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - sex, death and religion... in an interesting night time telly sort of way

Thagrastay · 03-05-2004, 08:05 AM

I was a Pagan and a Hedon for many many years. I felt much the same way as you just explained, Tecoyah. But I also began to explore the things that Lucidity is questioning, and after much thought and consideration and searching and research, I made a decision to become a Christian. This was an enormous step for me and it meant changing many things in my sphere of influence. Because at the same time I became a Christian I also got sober. I am not certain if one precipitated the other or not, but they came each on the heels of the other, and I was told by those helping me recover from the devestation that my life had become from drinkling that I needed to change my playmates and playgrounds. At the time I was desperate and willing to go to any length to get relief. I did as I was told and Instead of going to the bar on Sunday Mornings, or Wednesaday Night, I began to attend a church instead. It was very foreign to me, but wonderful. I am rambling.
What I discovered, Lucidity, was that I had no boundaries when it came to sex. I believed that if I was with a woman I was supposed to have sex with her. It was almost like a requirement. When that occurred to me it was like an epiphany! I asked the people at my church to pray for me and the people at my recovery groups for suggestions and they told me to practice saying "No". At first it was difficult. But then, after a while, it got easier and easier and I began to build boundaries for myself and though I wasn't perfect at it, I also wasn't putting myself in situations that I would be having to make hard choices. The other thing they suggested was that when I was going to go somewhere that I might be tempted to break one of my own boundaries, I take someone with me. Or make a commitment before hand so that I couldn't stay and chat but would have to go and keep my appointment. My suggestion is to pray a lot and ask G*D to pick out a church for you and just start going. Then change where you hang out and with whom you associate. Remember that if nothing changes, nothing changes.

03-05-2004, 08:05 AM	#4 (permalink)
Thagrastay Crazy Location: Handrail, Montana	I was a Pagan and a Hedon for many many years. I felt much the same way as you just explained, Tecoyah. But I also began to explore the things that Lucidity is questioning, and after much thought and consideration and searching and research, I made a decision to become a Christian. This was an enormous step for me and it meant changing many things in my sphere of influence. Because at the same time I became a Christian I also got sober. I am not certain if one precipitated the other or not, but they came each on the heels of the other, and I was told by those helping me recover from the devestation that my life had become from drinkling that I needed to change my playmates and playgrounds. At the time I was desperate and willing to go to any length to get relief. I did as I was told and Instead of going to the bar on Sunday Mornings, or Wednesaday Night, I began to attend a church instead. It was very foreign to me, but wonderful. I am rambling. What I discovered, Lucidity, was that I had no boundaries when it came to sex. I believed that if I was with a woman I was supposed to have sex with her. It was almost like a requirement. When that occurred to me it was like an epiphany! I asked the people at my church to pray for me and the people at my recovery groups for suggestions and they told me to practice saying "No". At first it was difficult. But then, after a while, it got easier and easier and I began to build boundaries for myself and though I wasn't perfect at it, I also wasn't putting myself in situations that I would be having to make hard choices. The other thing they suggested was that when I was going to go somewhere that I might be tempted to break one of my own boundaries, I take someone with me. Or make a commitment before hand so that I couldn't stay and chat but would have to go and keep my appointment. My suggestion is to pray a lot and ask G*D to pick out a church for you and just start going. Then change where you hang out and with whom you associate. Remember that if nothing changes, nothing changes. __________________ "That's it! They've got the cuffs on him, he's IN the car!"