Karby

how do you get yourself to stop being lazy?
i don't care about important things anymore.
everything just seems so pointless that i dont even bother with it!!
but it IS important.
im about 12 hours behind on my schoolwork, and what am i doing?
calmly sipping cocoa ad wondering how long it will take me to beat this dumb game!
and maybe if i should even try to draw an anime character!
You know how i should spend tommorrow? the minute i get home, 10 hours of homework, and some time doing employment research. but i'm probably just gonna up and watch t.v.!
but you know what...? its not just the attuide!
when i finally FORCE myself to do some damned work, i lose concentration in like 5 minutes! and i get irritated by 10 minutes, and by 15 minutes i give up and mindlessly wander off!
I waste my time doing pointless things, and im so behind its scary!
and here i am! but i dont care!
normally when im behind on something, i feel panicky and i must catch up NOW! or i cant relax. And i do it until its done! this feeling...im pretty sure its concentration...just...vanished!! about a month ago!
at this rate, ill get some D's in school.
but i wont care!
i cant FORCE myself to work...ive tried!
if i wake up and its 7:10, i should get up! but ill just roll over and wake up in 45 minutes and throw on some clothes and walk out the door!
i cant stand this!!! I cant do ANTHING BUT BE LAZY!!! ARRRRRRG!!!!!
but you know what scares me the most?
i just dont feel like ive lost concentration, it feels like someting....SOMETHING....has taken over! and forcing me to be lazy!
i know, thats sounds dumb. but its true.
so.....with that....im going to sleep....

__________________
~my karma ran over my dogma.~