Hanxter

There's a crime about to be commited in the next couple of months...

Barry "Blubber" Bonds is gonna pass Willie Mays for 3rd spot on the HR list while on drugs and his two partners in this criminal act are Bud "Don't Look" Selig and Gene "Bag Man" Orza while the "Say Hey Kid" can't, or won't, say anything...

And to make matters worse, it's believed the Spankees have just bought the World Series championship with, not just A-Rod, but Jason "Jelly Bean" Giambi and Gary "Gumdrop" Sheffield but that's another story...

While it's true that Barry will make the Hall of Fame, he'll do it looking like the Stay Puff Marsmellow Man with a souvenier mini helmet bobby pinned to his ears just to keep it on...

But the idea of having his Godfather present him for the induction, should he still be alive, is the biggest crime of all. Everything Willie Mays accomplished on the field was real, not juiced. Willie's Godson is about to steal a place in history that should be marked not with an asterisk but a cross...

Each time Blubber goes to bat this year, look at the bottom of your TV screen, you'll see a trailor stating, "The following homer may have serious side effects such as cranial bloating, inflated ego, and swollen bank accounts. You should contact your union representative before hand to see if BLAH BLAH BLAH is right for you."