Hanxter

There's a crime about to be commited in the next couple of months...

Barry "Blubber" Bonds is gonna pass Willie Mays for 3rd spot on the HR list while on drugs and his two partners in this criminal act are Bud "Don't Look" Selig and Gene "Bag Man" Orza while the "Say Hey Kid" can't, or won't, say anything...

And to make matters worse, it's believed the Spankees have just bought the World Series championship with, not just A-Rod, but Jason "Jelly Bean" Giambi and Gary "Gumdrop" Sheffield but that's another story...

While it's true that Barry will make the Hall of Fame, he'll do it looking like the Stay Puff Marsmellow Man with a souvenier mini helmet bobby pinned to his ears just to keep it on...

But the idea of having his Godfather present him for the induction, should he still be alive, is the biggest crime of all. Everything Willie Mays accomplished on the field was real, not juiced. Willie's Godson is about to steal a place in history that should be marked not with an asterisk but a cross...

Each time Blubber goes to bat this year, look at the bottom of your TV screen, you'll see a trailor stating, "The following homer may have serious side effects such as cranial bloating, inflated ego, and swollen bank accounts. You should contact your union representative before hand to see if BLAH BLAH BLAH is right for you."

jobu

when he gets inducted maybe he should get and asterisk just like they did to maris.

Ilow

he really is making a mockery of the game. the fact the Mays is his godfather makes things ten times worse.

__________________
"Religion is the one area of our discourse in which it is considered noble to pretend to be certain about things no human being could possibly be certain about"
--Sam Harris

Hanxter

I caught you knockin'
at my locker door.
I love you, Barry,
can I have some more.

Gone, gone the ball is gone.

I hit the ballpark and
my drug was banned.
I watched the needle
take another man.

Gone, gone, the ball is gone.

I sing the song
because I love the game
I know that some of you feel the same.
I've got to keep the ball flying out.

Gone, gone the ball is gone.

I've seen the needle
and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every player's
like a settin' sun.

Ooh, ooh, the damage done.

djtestudo

For the record, as much as I would live to add this to the list of crimes Bud Selig needs to be punished for, it isn't his fault.

The MLBPA is possibly the most powerful union in the country. They completely control the game of baseball, and have never lost a dispute with the owners, even when they need to, like on this issue.

They do not care about the players' health, or the integrity of the game they profess to love. They only care about beating the owners, even at the expense of their livelihood.

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"Final thought: I just rented Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. Frankly, it was the worst sports movie I've ever seen."
--Peter Schmuck, The (Baltimore) Sun

grumpyolddude

Outstanding, Hanxter! Neil would be proud of the parody.

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"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard

japhyryder

I to do not blame Selig for this one not that I like him at all. It is the players union, they need olympic testing standards and a salary cap. (even though 4 out of 5 of the last world series were won by different teams)

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It's only entertainment, someone's sick idea of a joke.

filtherton

Barry will pay for his juicing when he needs open-heart surgery in his mid forties.