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Old 03-02-2004, 10:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
Regziever
Sexy eh?
 
Location: Sweden
Things to do while watching the Passion.

(Compiled from a thread on Internet Infidels (not sure if I should include a link, might be conciderd site-pluging))

*WARNING*
These stunts are performed at your own risk because:
1) It makes atheists as a whole look bad. (even if you are not technically an atheist, they will assume you are.)
2) You may get yourself reported to the theater's Mgt who would have you removed and or arrested.
3) You could be introduced to some of that old fashioned christian love. (translation: get your butt kicked after the show)
/*WARNING*


1. Walk around in the theatre asking if this seat is *Saved*.
2. Whistle/Sing "Always look on the bright side of life" when Jebus is on the cross.
3. Rub the thighs of the person sitting next to you during the crucifiction scene (it works even better if they're of the same sex) And say "This is getting me so fu*king horny"
4. At the crucifixion scene, whisper sotto voice to the person next to you: Peter! I can see your house from here!
5. Every time Jebus comes on screen yell in your best Abe Simpson voice, "Get a haircut, you damn hippy."
6. Tell everyone that the guy dies in the end.
7. When jesus is carrying his cross, sing you "you lucky bastards!"
8. When jesus is being lifted onto the cross, "for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, and so say all of us"
9. When Jesus is getting beaten (which is most of the movie), yell "Where's your god now, huh?"
10. When you first see Jesus yell "Its Bwian!"
11. Right before they spread his arms out on the cross, yell "I remember this one time Peter caught this fish, it was like.... THIS FRICKIN BIG!"
12. When they strip Jesus to his loincloth, whistle and yell "Take it off!!!"
13. Wear a big fuzzy wig and hold up a large John 3:16 sign. If anyone tells you to take it down, attempt to 'witness' to them.
14. Discuss with your friends, not loud enough to be obviously directed at the audience but just loud enough to be understood by them: "he's a carpenter, and he got nailed to two pieces of wood? i got to admit, this movie has the whole irony thing nailed down pretty well."
15. Go dressed as Jesus from the Big Lebowski.
16. Hold up a Revelation 7:1 sign. http://home.netcom.com/~rogermw/square_earth.html
17. Say you came because you heard that he got his own movie.
18. In fitting with this theme, during the movie say "Why is he letting this happen? NOBODY fucks with Jesus!"
19. When people start getting upset, say ""C'MON! IT'S JUST A MOVIE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!"
20. When Jesus rises from the dead, say to someone, "So does that mean that Jesus is a zombie now?"
21. Or how about when Jesus rises from the dead (I love saying that!), yell out loud, "Frodo Lives!!!!"
22. What about after the movie is over, walk outside with a huge sign that says, "Still an Atheist!"
23. Print leaflets with: "He poured out his blood for your sins. Now he's back, and he's looking for payback! Passion II: The Risen Bloodsucker, coming next summer to a theater or drive-in near you!" and spread them all over the place.
24. Go to the movie in obvious Dom/sub garb. Have the Dom loudly discipline the sub while Jesus is tortured.
25. When Jesus is in obvious pain, yell at the screen, "The safe word is 'Apples', Jesus! The safe word is 'Apples'!"
26. Whenever the androgynous Satan character shows up on screen, do a Gollum impression. "Smaegol couldn't hurt a fly!"
27. When Jesus draw his last breath, Shout " Yes, die for Allah".
28. Yell out: "that blood is SOO fake!"
29. Yell out exactly what happens next as if you are spoiling the film. Everyone knows what is going to happen, but it will still annoy the hell out of them.
30. Sit in the front row and during one of the most brutal scenes, stand up, kneel in front of your girlfriend, take out a ring and ask her to marry you.
31. Said out loud when Jebus comes out of the tomb : "Damn Hollywood Ending!"
32. Loudly ask a friend just before it starts : "This movie is the PASSION of Christ, right? So there's lots of fu*king?"
__________________
Life is shit,
Death is even worse,
So what's the point of killing yourself?
/Ignatius Camryn Paladine
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