I think the answer is that you're both 100% responsible. I know that's kind of paradoxical, but it seems to be a "relationship rule" that works. If you're responsible for the fact that you're moody during that time of the month (which means taking actions to either keep yourself from getting upset, or cleaning it up afterwards if you're beastly), and he's responsible for being extra caring and not taking in personally, everyone's happy. If one person's carrying all the load, there's resentment. Even if both people are carrying half the load (the 50-50 compromise that most people think of in relationships) you still end up fighting half the time. Most people are willing to go the extra mile if you are.
And asking him to be understanding is not really shoving responsibility off on him - it's taking responsibility for the fact that you know you are moody and irrational due to hormones, and giving him a chance to respond. He can always say "no, I'd rather just avoid you for three days if you don't mind" but most people appreciate being asked instead of it just being assuming they OUGHT to be more forgiving (and then having you gett upset when they're not). Communication = good.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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