skysooner

The guy/girl thing was strange but only really because of her. I went there early and got acquainted with him first of all. He was a dentist and I was an engineering grad student. He told me what she liked, etc. and said he thought that she and I should spend time together upstairs alone before everything else started. She breezed in about 30 minutes later and there was actually very little getting acquainted talk. I was 22 at the time, and I think she was in her early 40s. She wasn't particularly my type physically, but at that point I felt I was committed. It was definitely interesting in terms of showing me how an older woman could really get into it. Most college girls I had been with weren't very open sexually or were too conservative. When he came upstairs, we were basically in bed next each other (king sized bed thank goodness) and she kind of went back and forth. There was no contact between us. However I felt so awkward that I don't think it was very good for her. She had said ahead of time that if we clicked she wanted some one-on-one time with me after that day but that never happened. I tried to talk to her after that, but she had pretty much decided in her head that it wasn't going to work.

As for the 9 month thing that was quite a bit different. They lived about 90 miles away, so we didn't see each other all the time. She was 34, and her husband was 50. He had had a heart attack and was unable to perform physically anymore. I was definitely not their first since they told me they had done this a few times before even when he could perform. They were from Oregon and had decided on an open marriage early on. I might not have even been the only one seeing her at the time. When we first got in contact, she said that they might want to take some pictures but that they would obscure the face. I wasn't particularly comfortable with this or the fact he would be sitting by the bed watching us. I went into it with real trepidation. We hit it off so well at dinner though that it was much more natural. He pretty much left us alone without being in viewing range (although he was still close enough to come running if she had called). I did end up with some feelings for her, but it was never very deep. Once they moved out of state we said that we would get back together, but it never happened and I think we were all relieved by that time.

All I can really say about this is that either way you will enjoy yourself and it will certainly change you. However it is kind of a difference between a one-night stand where you know you aren't ever going to see the person again to a longer-standing relationship. The actual sex was wilder in the first scenario, but the second was much more satisfying.

I will add something about why I did this since Ustwo asked. As a married person or even if I had a significant other I wouldn't have done it. However at the time this happened, I was in a bad emotional state. I was in classes with all guys (engineering). If I met girls in bars they inevitably weren't girls I would consider dating for a long period of time (either too slutty or an emotional mess). My mother was bisexual and she and my dad had played around with other single women as long as I was aware (2nd grade all the way through college). They used to have these really wild parties. One of my mom's best friends was a stripper. When I was in college, I used to date girls she would introduce me to at the club. It was a bit lonely in some respects as I didn't really know how to talk to people. What I was always good at was empathetic sex. This gave me a chance to explore some boundaries safely while knowing that I wouldn't have to commit or deal with emotional blackmail.

Would I do it again with another couple? Absolutely if my wife were into it. She is not into it and has given me any indication that she would ever be into it. Who knows if this will change, but it isn't important enough to me to push on it.