Tell us WHY Masturbation "Should" be a sport. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

skippy · 09-23-2003, 03:28 PM

I would like to challenge all TFPer's to tell us why Masturbation should be a sport! Seriously... speed and accuracy are what it's all about... got for it ! Tell us

gov135 · 09-23-2003, 04:44 PM

From the "What Constitutes a Sport Thread", here are some defining points of a sport along with some comments:

Definition of Sport (no, it is not mine):
1. At the end of each game they must be a winner and a loser.
Check. If its done right, you're the winner.
2. There must be practice, which is non-competitive, that teaches the skills of the game.
Check. Practice makes perfect.
3. Throughout the game there must be "official rules and procedures".
Check. For example: Close the bathroom door.
4. Throughout the game "tactics and strategies" should be used.
Check. Tactics and strategy help determine the action.
5. Muscle and nerve coordination should be taught and learned.
Damn straight.
6. A repeating "movement or form" that includes a "certain degree of risk" or effort.
Check. This should need no explanation.
7. A teacher or coach whom is not only trained in skills of that particular sport but other subjects like nutrition.
Check. My coach is skilled in other subjects like protein consumption, and she is very talented.

Hmmmmm.... maybe masturbation is a sport.

rogue49 · 09-23-2003, 05:30 PM

* Repetitive Motion Injuries

* There IS a goal

* Focused effort

* Cardiovascular Stimulation

* Although it's usually not a "Team" exercise, it IS better when played with others.

tangledweb · 09-23-2003, 06:43 PM

I is definitely exercise but doesn't it usually follow the sport of chasing the opposite sex (or whoever), (and failing at it)?

At least, that is how I remember it. 13 years of marriage kinda dulls the memories of the chase.

guthmund · 09-23-2003, 07:04 PM

It's like every other sport I play....

Intense concentration

possibility of grevious injury

and I'm usually winded after a nice "game"

bundy · 09-23-2003, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by rogue49
* Repetitive Motion Injuries

* There IS a goal

* Focused effort

* Cardiovascular Stimulation

* Although it's usually not a "Team" exercise, it IS better when played with others.

thanks rogue, thats given me my daily belly laugh.

gov135, if a successful wank makes me the winner, then who is the loser??

crewsor · 09-24-2003, 03:19 AM

Sure its a sport. I even got tennis elbow from it.

Lunchbox7 · 09-24-2003, 03:36 AM

You can even have different divissions of the same sport:

1) Sprinting- How fast you can make yourself cum.

2) Marathon- How long can you keep yourself on the edge of orgasm before you lose control and cum.

3) Target shooting- Its where you have to aim for a specific area on your girlfriend/wife. 1 point for the breasts. 3 points for the face. 5 points for the mouth. 20 points for an eye.

4) Gymnastics- Being able to beat off in the most unlikely of positions.

5) Relay- How many times you can get yourself off in one session (porn is permissable).

6) Synchronised Masturbation- When you and your partner masturbate together and time it so you come at exactly the same time

gov135 · 09-24-2003, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bundy

gov135, if a successful wank makes me the winner, then who is the loser??

Kittens.
Baptists.
Prostitutes.

Dano069 · 10-24-2003, 08:31 AM

It already is a sport. Lacrosse is a sport, hence masturbation is a sport!

GM Drops Risque-Named Buick Car in Quebec
Thu Oct 23, 4:53 PM ET

Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!

NEW YORK - It's all in the name. General Motors Corp. has scrapped plans to replace the Buick Regal with the Buick LaCrosse in Canada because in the French-speaking province of Quebec "lacrosse" means to masturbate. Among other things.

GM Canada spokesman Stew Low told the La Crosse Tribune in Wisconsin last Friday that in Quebec youth culture the word is a new slang term

"(It) means a couple of things, either to masturbate or 'I just got screwed,' or 'I just got taken'" Low told the newspaper in Saturday's copyright editions. "People of our age wouldn't even think twice about (the word.)"

He told the paper he first learned of the new slang usage about six weeks ago. In organized focus groups in Quebec, young participants giggled when they heard the named of the new car, Low said.

La Crosse Mayor John Medinger said Friday was not aware of the slang in Canada until the Tribune told him.

"These slang phrases come and go, and hopefully this one won't stick around too long," Medinger was quoted in the paper.

GM has not said when the Buick LaCrosse will debut. The company said plans to replace the Buick Regal with the Buick LaCrosse in the U.S. will continue, but will give the new car a different name in Canada.

___

Redlemon · 10-24-2003, 08:55 AM

Although only tangentally applicable, I'd like to quote Lewis Black here:

Quote:

If Curling is an Olympic sport, then oral sex is adultery. For that matter, oral sex should be an Olympic sport. I mean, it's harder to do than Curling. And, frankly, if you're good at it, you should get a medal.

09-23-2003, 03:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
skippy Banned	Tell us WHY Masturbation "Should" be a sport. I would like to challenge all TFPer's to tell us why Masturbation should be a sport! Seriously... speed and accuracy are what it's all about... got for it ! Tell us

09-23-2003, 05:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
rogue49 Loser	* Repetitive Motion Injuries * There IS a goal * Focused effort * Cardiovascular Stimulation * Although it's usually not a "Team" exercise, it IS better when played with others. Last edited by rogue49; 09-23-2003 at 05:32 PM..

09-23-2003, 07:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	It's like every other sport I play.... Intense concentration possibility of grevious injury and I'm usually winded after a nice "game" __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

09-24-2003, 03:19 AM	#7 (permalink)
crewsor Women want me. Men fear me. Location: Maryland,USA	Sure its a sport. I even got tennis elbow from it. __________________ We all have wings, some of us just don't know why.

10-24-2003, 08:31 AM	#10 (permalink)
Dano069 is Nucking Futs! Location: On the edge of sanity	Here's Your Proof! It already is a sport. Lacrosse is a sport, hence masturbation is a sport! GM Drops Risque-Named Buick Car in Quebec Thu Oct 23, 4:53 PM ET Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo! NEW YORK - It's all in the name. General Motors Corp. has scrapped plans to replace the Buick Regal with the Buick LaCrosse in Canada because in the French-speaking province of Quebec "lacrosse" means to masturbate. Among other things. GM Canada spokesman Stew Low told the La Crosse Tribune in Wisconsin last Friday that in Quebec youth culture the word is a new slang term "(It) means a couple of things, either to masturbate or 'I just got screwed,' or 'I just got taken'" Low told the newspaper in Saturday's copyright editions. "People of our age wouldn't even think twice about (the word.)" He told the paper he first learned of the new slang usage about six weeks ago. In organized focus groups in Quebec, young participants giggled when they heard the named of the new car, Low said. La Crosse Mayor John Medinger said Friday was not aware of the slang in Canada until the Tribune told him. "These slang phrases come and go, and hopefully this one won't stick around too long," Medinger was quoted in the paper. GM has not said when the Buick LaCrosse will debut. The company said plans to replace the Buick Regal with the Buick LaCrosse in the U.S. will continue, but will give the new car a different name in Canada. ___ __________________ I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

09-23-2003, 04:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
gov135 Junkie Location: Midwest	From the "What Constitutes a Sport Thread", here are some defining points of a sport along with some comments: Definition of Sport (no, it is not mine): 1. At the end of each game they must be a winner and a loser. Check. If its done right, you're the winner. 2. There must be practice, which is non-competitive, that teaches the skills of the game. Check. Practice makes perfect. 3. Throughout the game there must be "official rules and procedures". Check. For example: Close the bathroom door. 4. Throughout the game "tactics and strategies" should be used. Check. Tactics and strategy help determine the action. 5. Muscle and nerve coordination should be taught and learned. Damn straight. 6. A repeating "movement or form" that includes a "certain degree of risk" or effort. Check. This should need no explanation. 7. A teacher or coach whom is not only trained in skills of that particular sport but other subjects like nutrition. Check. My coach is skilled in other subjects like protein consumption, and she is very talented. Hmmmmm.... maybe masturbation is a sport.

09-23-2003, 06:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
tangledweb slightly impaired Location: Down South	I is definitely exercise but doesn't it usually follow the sport of chasing the opposite sex (or whoever), (and failing at it)? At least, that is how I remember it. 13 years of marriage kinda dulls the memories of the chase.

09-24-2003, 03:36 AM	#8 (permalink)
Lunchbox7 Addict	You can even have different divissions of the same sport: 1) Sprinting- How fast you can make yourself cum. 2) Marathon- How long can you keep yourself on the edge of orgasm before you lose control and cum. 3) Target shooting- Its where you have to aim for a specific area on your girlfriend/wife. 1 point for the breasts. 3 points for the face. 5 points for the mouth. 20 points for an eye. 4) Gymnastics- Being able to beat off in the most unlikely of positions. 5) Relay- How many times you can get yourself off in one session (porn is permissable). 6) Synchronised Masturbation- When you and your partner masturbate together and time it so you come at exactly the same time