The Sexuality Vent Thread

[analog]

Yup. You guessed it. I have venting to do. But, seeing as venting is fun, and venting along with other people is even MORE fun, I figured I'd give us all a place to just let out some sexual steam, so to speak.

So, give me your gripes, your whines, your complaints, your petty (or not-so-petty) annoyances... they can be about past people, current people, whatever.

Example:

For as sexual a creature you claimed to be, you sucked in bed. Every girlfriend I've had, i've marathon-fucked for hours on end and collapsed afterwards from exhaustion, because it was that great and I loved it that much. With you, it was a chore to have sex and I honestly wasn't attracted enough to keep the sex going for longer than 30 minutes or an hour. I sometimes let you go to sleep, rather than join you in bed, so I could stay up and jack off, because masturbation was more pleasurable than an average session of sex. Your attempts at being "sexy" made me have to bite my tongue to keep from giggling. I may have really liked you, and i may have *thought* I loved you (for a bit, and foolishly), but your manner of dress, attitude, flirtation, etc., was as sexually charged as a baked potato. For a girl so sexually uninspiring, i'd have thought you would have been a little tighter. (harsh, I know) Being the first girl i've been with who allowed (insisted, actually) that I would finish inside, and taking into account your attitude after you left me for another guy, you successfully exemplified the slang term "cum dumpster". So, in conclusion, thanks for being the most awkward and uninteresting fuck of my life. If I find someone who fucks worse than you, that would surely be something.

There, that feels a little better.

No judgments- there are no judgments here.

You can sound off, as I did, without any identifiers to indicate to whom you're referring. You can gripe about old shit you never got over, or new shit you just can't seem to shake. It can be sex (or lack of), relationships, anything related to this forum. Whatever, just do it, take a deep breath, and feel better.

[motdakasha]

I've known him since I was 14, almost half my life. I've always had the hots for him. Over the past few years, I've found he's great in bed, too. Hot. Good fuck. Fun to talk to. It can't get much better than that. Neither of us have dated other people between the last couple of rendezvous, yet we haven't dated each other. Despite the temporary long distance, I'm highly annoyed by the fear of commitment. Or is it because you're afraid to fuck up a good thing? I'd at least like to have a chance at dating. I can't keep the welcome mat out forever.

[SERPENT7]

I STILL want to fuck you.
Even after you lied to me, and stopped me from inserting my cock into your available moistness, and demanded i finish you off the usual way. (Digital, with the promise of oral, if that wasn't doing the job.)
Even after i introduced you to my best friend whom you proceeded to screw like the whore you are. (And he couldn't stop thanking me!)
I still fantasize about bending you over the couch and DOING all of the things i threatened you with, and EXPLAINING about what a power-trip sex can really be.

[joemc91]

You wanted to have a real date, unlike the others we had gone on. I figured, what the heck, I like doing stuff with you. So I took you out, cooked some dinner, and watched a movie. As usual you were fun to be with, we cooked the meal together and you kept hugging me. The next morning you pounced on me when I was getting dressed, also appreciated. I thought everything went well and maybe I'd see you the next week or the same weekend. However, ever since that night you have not returned one call or even an instant message. I understand that you are apparently not interested anymore. I just want to know where I fucked up, so I may learn from my mistakes. I would also like to remain friends, seeing as you are one of maybe 10 people I am friends with in this town.

[World's King]

As much as I love you and want to be with you for the rest of our lives… You’re fuckin’ nuts and need more help than you could ever get.

That being said.

Why do you not trust me? I’ve never cheated on you and never will. I know I don’t have the best past and slept with way too many people but that doesn’t mean I’m still sleeping around. I believe people can change. For the right reasons. And you’re my right reason. I understand you don’t have a very good history with males. No female does. That’s why people get married. So, they don’t have to deal with dating anymore. It sucks. And we’re in the most fucked up type of relationship. Long distance. Which means all we do is fight. And it’s never over anything real. It’s mainly the two of us being really fuckin’ mad we can’t fuck as much as we’d like to. And see each other, hang out, and all that other dating bullshit that gets in the way. I’m sorry you never feel well. I know you aren’t the healthiest person in the world but you have to understand that it isn’t always real. I’d say about 75% of the time it’s all in your head. And when I see that I’m gonna tell you. And when I tell you. FUCKIN’ LISTEN TO ME. I’m not a smart guy but I know when someone is lying. It’s all fake. You’ve convinced yourself that your unhealthy. Now you really are. But it’s not your body. It’s your mind. So, until you can over that and get real help. I’m gonna keep getting pissed off at you and yell and get you even more mad and make you break up with me every three days and…

I love you.

[simivin]

Word...

Why do you not trust me? I’ve never cheated on you and never will. ... I understand you don’t have a very good history with males. No female does. That’s why people get married. So, they don’t have to deal with dating anymore. It sucks. And we’re in the most fucked up type of relationship. Long distance. Which means all we do is fight. And it’s never over anything real. ... I’d say about 75% of the time it’s all in your head. And when I see that I’m gonna tell you. And when I tell you. ... LISTEN TO ME.

Damnit, you said you trusted me, but why did I feel you didn't sometimes? Why did you check my email that one time a few months back? Why were you worried or upset if I didn't put references to you in AIM, or deleted posts on facebook? Why did you think it might be suspicious if I didn't want to drive up for a weekend? Stupid shit, so silly, but didn't you realize that that would create an impression or perception over time?

Why did I feel the pressure to be the white knight on the white horse, when all I wanted was to be in a nice and relaxed relationship? Why did I feel like you held on tight to me, because you had decided I was "the one", and that I was too good to let go? I love you, but I was trying to figure out our relationship. Love doesn't imply that the relationship will work -- that is what dating is for. And yet, I felt that just by dating, I was almost committed to marriage. Sure I was working towards that, but we had only been dating nine months -- that was some pressure to feel, especially when our relationship had struggled so much at times. If you had just relaxed a little bit with me, I would have been so much happier -- we could have been so much happier -- and I wouldn't have felt obligated to do things I would have wanted to do sometimes.

Why didn't you just understand and accept that I wanted to be with you -- that I put you first ahead of anyone else, that I was with you and no one else? That I was trying to work on us? Why did you think that me hanging out with my friend was sketchy; why did you think she was such a bad person? It didn't matter if I wondered, or was curious -- it wasn't that much anyway. I loved you and wanted to be with you. She played second fiddle, didn't you get it? You had me, not her; she had never had me. God, I haven't ever cheated and I wouldn't have done anything wrong with anyone -- nor was I going to leave you for anyone else! And if I did cheat, I would accept my own consequences for my lack of integrity. You know I'm not that kind of guy. Or did you really doubt it? Why did I have to be scared of telling you things, because you would blow up at me? Couldn't you tell how much it hurt; how it hurt to sleep thinking I love you but that I was scared to tell you I hung out with my friend? Why did you think it was so sketchy, when I told you the simple honest truth that it was nothing more? And why, when I brought up the stupid dance, that I probably won't go to anyway now, couldn't you keep your cool a little bit more, rather than go off on me? If we could have just talked, we could have been fine. But instead we fought for two days, again. Didn't you realize how much that hurt me? That it was taking it's toll on me? All you had to do was put your heart and trust with me, and God, I would have taken care of it. And what am I supposed to think when you said it, and say it so sincerely, only after I've broken up with you? How am I supposed to take that and believe it? And why did we have to talk on Christmas? I DIDN'T WANT TO! But oh well, we argued for 5 hours and ultimately were finished.

And why, oh why, do I still toss and turn more than a week later, missing you? While you move on without looking back? Why, even though I was the one who made the decision? Why do I accept so much of the blame or responsibility, when we both contributed to it? Why do I still wake up far too early in the morning, regretting so much and wishing things were different, even though at the time I thought it was right? You know, you might read this; maybe, maybe not. It won't matter, I guess. It doesn't matter that I've written over seventy pages of thoughts, because there are too many. It doesn't matter because I feel like there's no going back, just like you said, even if I would want it -- your family probably hates me now, anyway, or at least your parents. I walked back into that once...Lord knows it would be inititely worse this time. All I wanted was to avoid the fighting that happened, like it had for four months, over a stupid friend of mine. And all I wanted to feel was that complete trust -- even if I was wrong or insensitive to ask what I did. I would not have wronged you; there was no ulterior motives whatsoever. I told you the honest to God truth -- I would have sworn by it.

And now I don't know what to do. I know I need to move on but how? It should be easy since I made the decision but it isn't. I don't know how I want to approach things, what my standards are anymore, what I should do. My confidence is low, when it used to be so high. My internal equilibrium is out of alignment. I feel like I was just a shitty boyfriend, am a shitty, insensitive guy who stereotypically didn't appreciate you enough. I wish I could still talk to you, could still be close with you, but I understand. It's the consequences of my decision. I also don't know what I said in any of my drunk dials, not that you got any anyway -- hopefully nothing bad (you know what I said? That I was thinking about/missing you like crazy, that I wished you'd understand and would have completely trusted me, that I wished you a happy birthday, and that I had wanted to ring in the New Year with you...damn). And I know that there are girls out there -- there are other special girls, just as there are better guys. But it still hurts.

Oh yeah...

I love you.

And miss you...

/thanks for the venting space
//ha, obviously have a lot to vent

[Arsenic7]

No, I'm not going to tell you I think your fat, damnit!

And why do you insist I adopt your superstitious pagan beliefs.
No, I don't believe in spirits.
No, I don't believe psychics.
No, I don't believe in astrology.
At least not untill I see it with my own two eyes.
But you knew I was an agnostic when we started dating.

And why all this sexual introversion all of a sudden. You were much more excitable when we first dated. Is it because I'm the first guy who could actualy bring you to orgasm now and again? Does that scare you? No, screams and crying are not an adequate answer.

[Martian]

I know you don't want to hear it, which is why I won't say it to you. But I meant it when I said that the sex is the best I've ever had. I don't know if it was because we were in love, or if it's because you were just that good. You did things to me that made me want to thank you, much to your amusement. I'm pretty sure I did the same. Only now I'm doubting everything and I'm wondering if you didn't just tell me that to spare my feelings.

It's ludicrous, of course and I will regain my self-confidence, some day. I mean, to be perfectly blunt about it you weren't the first girl to tell me how amazing it was. I doubt you'll be the last.

But it meant something with you. It wasn't just a physical release. And that's something that I may never recapture.

Everything with you was the best I've ever had. My life with you was the best I've ever had. And I know school is hard and you need to focus on other things, but part of me can't help but resent it. I always put you first. If something got in the way of being with you, I always chose you. I gave up so much for you. And ultimately to not have that returned is what hurts the most.

I don't think you still love me. I don't know if you ever did, anymore. I'm certain you thought you did. I know we fought a lot, but that's what happens in long distance relationships. The fights, with one exception, were all stupid, meaningless things. I didn't call you on time. I didn't email you on this date. You went out drinking and I sat home alone. They never lasted more than a couple hours. We never stayed mad.

I do wish you all the best. I want you to be happy; I just wish it didn't have to be at the expense of my own happiness.

And I really do miss the sex.

[Impetuous1]

I'm tired of not trusting you, but I'm afraid to trust you. I love you, but I'm afraid of getting my heart broken again by you. I hate that you lied to me at the beginning to get me and lied for so long. I hate that you find it difficult to be loyal to me. I hate that you don't share the same values. I hate that you don't always take responsibility for your own actions and try to blame me in part for them. I hate that you like to keep secrets. I don't like that you don't want me to talk about our problems with other people. I want you every day. You drive me crazy. But, I'm getting too old. I'm getting too tired. I need reliability. I need comfort. I need a place to fall. I need not to worry about us. I want to be over the past. The bad past that lasted on and off for four years. I'm not willing to take anymore. I'm now so fragile a gentle blow can break me.

Happy Birthday Baby, I love you.

[Willravel]

Arg!!!! Rugburn!!!!!

[motdakasha]

Originally Posted by willravel

Arg!!!! Rugburn!!!!!

ahahahaha. YES! ARG!

[noodle]

You don't believe me. Ever. Even about the stupidest shit. I am right sometimes. Pigs do not have sweat glands. Look it up for fuck's sake.

I don't know how to say it any differently than I have 800,000 ways before. I. Am. Not. Your. Ex-wife. I do not hold to the things that she believes in. I am not religious, I would never get purposefully pregnant to keep a man, I would never ever TPR a father just because I was pissed. I can't stand the way that she treated you. I am not sleeping around on you, nor have I ever, nor will I. I had a hard time being honest about what I enjoy in bed because of your issues with your ex-wife. I am not her. I am not one of the sterotypical females that you bitch about at work or to your friends. I am embarrassed at the effervescent, unintelligent, unimaginative image that you have been conditioned to perceive women as. And when you make those blanket statements to me or in front of me about women, I tend to get offended, even though when I call you on it you're usually so surprised, like I should know I'm not in there. I like to hold the door sometimes, too. I don't think it's misogynistic to smack me in the ass every once in awhile nor pull my hair during sex. I LIKE IT SOMETIMES, DUMBASS. But every day can be different. I also like those two hour foreplay marathons at times. Not everything works the same way every single freaking time.

I want to hold your face in my hands and convince you that I am not going to let you down or abandon you. But you pull back and away. You can't stand my tears... thought it's mostly frustration, you fool. You don't make me as sad any more. I respect your morals and values and I understand your twisted, fucked up childhood. I see what goes on in your head and I know where it comes from because that's been my training and conditioning. But I don't want to be your therapist. I want to just be us. Lovers, friends, fighters, two people. I'll be Me and you can be You. I wish you'd believe me when I echo almost everyone else around here... I love you, you big jackass.

Oh, and we don't have to split the bill every time. Take me out sometime, big man.

[simivin]

Ha. More.

Why did you have to question my love for you? You knew I hadn't been in a relationship in a while; knew that I was bothering myself with my own insecurities. It's natural to doubt and to wonder -- for crying out loud, look on this forum. People doubt, but can still be loyal. Do you realize how much pressure it is to not be able to doubt? I mean, it bothered me enough by myself, because I hadn't dated in a while, but for you to make it sound like the end of the relationship just because I had some doubt. I had decided that I didn't need to date anyone else, or sleep with anyone else...I just wanted a strong relationship.

I couldn't be just a person; just a man. I know I criticized you honey, and sometimes failed to take you as you were, but it happened to me too. I just wanted to be a regular guy -- normal with all the worries and doubts, but still working towards something. I felt I couldn't do the former. I felt I was wrong to do the former. God, that pressure sucked.

I don't know that I'll ever find a match like you again. You told me that, and I fear it's true. You were great for me in so many, so many ways. But what was wrong? Sometimes I felt like you took me too seriously, when often I was just joking. I felt like you judged others too quickly (and you hated that I thought that...). And yes, I felt like you didn't trust me...just like someone else said, because of your shitty past relationships. Really, my integrity is so important to me -- you know that. To have it questioned hurts me so much; makes me doubt me so much. Just like in November. Everything else, I wanted to work through and give time...but God, I told you that your doubting my loyalty was starting to hurt too much. And you told me that you wished I lied to you? God, I could not do that! And I know it was just one friend recently, but b/c of everything else, I worried that it'd be an issue in the future. For right or wrong, that's what I was thinking...And you know, I didn't want to break up with you. I was trying to avoid more fighting because I knew I was getting pushed closer and closer to the brink. While it was my decision, it felt forced, too, by the circumstances. I know no one forced me to make my decision, but that's how I felt -- "God, why do we have to keep fighting? I cannot take it any more..."

What happened to our communication? Our confidence in one another? We failed to see just how sensitive both of us were getting -- failing to compromise until it was too late. How could I take it back yet again? That's not right for either of us and I wasn't about to use breaking up as a tool to get what I wanted...otherwise, I'm manipulating you just like other guys did.

I saw some recent pictures of you. Without me. It hurt to see you; it was weird to see you. That is normal, I tell myself. Get used to it, I tell myself. But it doesn't hurt any less yet. I need to stop doing that -- this -- to myself. To just let go. But it's hard, because I do love you. I do want to be with you. Ha, but obviously my love isn't good enough, right, because I broke up with you? God, the impact this all has had on my confidence.

While I told you before and left a note saying it, I wanted to say it again. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for not giving enough to your point of view. For not doing everything for you, for not making all the sacrifices you asked -- I'm scared, you know? Scared of putting it all out there, getting mired with someone who will just ask me to do so much, ask me to do things I don't want. But you were right this time -- I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you as much as you deserved. I'm so sorry for everything...please forgive me.

I hope you can find that perfect guy. I'm sorry I am not him. If you think of me, please think of me fondly. If you wonder, maybe then you will understand me better. But always remember that I love you.

[crow_daw]

This isn't about sex, but it is about a relationship, and wow do I need to rant about it.

I do like your family, ok? I really really do. It's just that I am very VERY different from them, it doesn't mean I don't like them. And yeah, I realize that it might be a phenomenally big mistake to do this all over again, seeing as how they thought it just fine to read everything I had ever written last time, and will likely get around to reading this too. But I decided that I love this website, it may sound stupid to them and you, but this an intelligent community where thoughtful and respectful insight and debate can be found, and I'm not going to censor myself because they can't respect my privacy. And yes, regardless of what they may think, anonymity = privacy. No one here knows who I am personally, and they don't know you, and they don't know them. So where's the harm in it?!?! Some times I really REALLY need an objective opinion ok? It's nothing personal.

So if you read this one day, I really do like you guys, honestly. I just wish you could respect me for who I am: an isolated, intelligent, liberal guy who thinks offensive jokes are fine because they're only freaking jokes, who has his own personal relationship with God that he's perfectly happy with, who wasn't raised in a very big, very involved family setting, and thus doesn't at all understand it, and who's not totally convinced that marriage at an early age is such a good idea.. I can't help these things, they're just me. I'm also a guy who is very deeply in love with your little girl.

I just wish that that was enough for you.

[martinguerre]

the next relationship i have is going to end after it starts.

pre-emptive breakups are fast becoming the bane of my existance....i've only inflicted one, i don't really need three back at me to teach me my karmic lesson.

[tooth]

You're not fat.
You're not ugly.
Your hair doesn't look like shit.
You're not eighteen anymore.
You're a beautiful, and sexy, 31 year old wife and mother.

[*Nikki*]

You strive to please me.
Sometimes you finish rather quickly, I have grown to like this
You are loving.
You are wonderful.
Sometimes you try to hard at oral. Sometimes just barely is all it takes.
I like that you think you are the best I have ever had, it cracks me up and makes you more endearing all at once.
I love my husband.

[doodlebird]

i'm only with you because you do the dishes before i ask.

and the head.

^
god i hope this isn't true.
but sometimes it feels like it is.

[Daoust]

I wish I had had sex with you. I know I could have. When we were play wrestling on the floor in your living room, hands all over each other, laughing... It was that moment that every guy waits for and ought to recognize when it happens. Girls don't get into situations like that with guys without anticipating something...

But I didn't have sex with you. I went home and called my fiancee, who was out of town.

[ZenFilthPig]

Yes, sometimes I do wish you had an increased libido.
Yes, sometimes I do wish you were open to try more different things.
Yes, sometimes I do wish you would swallow, or at least take it on the chin.

[rlynnm]

You said you would pleasure me everytime I asked you to. You used to be so excited about doing so that you even made excuses to come over every single fucking night to pleasure me. It felt good. For as long as I can remember I have always had an overly active, almost insatiable drive, and you were made aware of this. I always loved climaxing and you made that happen for me not only for the specific actions you did to trigger it but for the passion you had when doing so. Even if you weren't too keen on kissing, you did it often with me and hell you seemed to love it.

Things have changed. You have said no to me at least twice for reasons which still do not register in my head. I know there is no one else, but I think you've grown tired of pussy, mine at the very least. You used to love to make me tremble and now I don't feel you even yearn for her anymore. You used to see me and find sneaky ways to touch my pussy or fondle my breasts, yet you make no more effort to do so....

Ironically, I have never been too tired to pleasure you--usually you don't even have to ask at all.

Your once overly active drive (it seemed at once to even rival mine) has diminished down to nearly nothing. I have not been touched the way you once used to. Hell, naked pictures don't do anything for you anymore either. What happeend to all the passion we had. It seems the few times we actually do something, it has just dwindled down to a quick transaction--no kissing, no passion.. Just like orgasm to go.

I figured this would happen at some point..but not this soon.. I am not bad looking. Actually, all the men that pursue me, most would cut off their left nut to be that close to me, yet you..you have it anytime you want, and you don't want it anymore....

And to that, I still love you no less. My demise.

[Aladdin Sane]

If you were just alittle bit kinky. If only you had some unusual sexual desire. If only you wanted it more. If only you would cum when we fucked. If only you wanted it again after you cum from my tongue.

[fatmanforprez]

I don't know where but somewhere I messed the instructions that I'm supported to be a jerk to those I love.

You want me to rape you through your virgin night;

I know you want sex and I sure as hell want to have sex with you. But you put to much importance in your virgin night, supposedly due to a promise to your dead grandfather, and I respected that. So I don't have sex with you because you have a standing no.

And what do I get for my patience and honor? Don't give me a line about rewards in heaven you don't believe, you were contemplating cheating on me from day 1, you never loved me like you claimed, I am just a warm body to you, I forgave everything I found out about by your mouth, I put everything into you, I Love You, but it is not to be;

because you are incapable of talking to me, you rant to others and bind them by their honor not to tell me. Had you followed their advice and talked to me, back when you cared, not that I'm sure you ever did now, I would have worked it out. I would have done anything for you, I offered to do anything for you.

I never lied to you, I never hid anything from, I trusted you with my life, with everything in me, I told you how much I appreciated you, I showed you how much I appreciated you.

And now for all my errors after being as perfect as I could manage what do I get, you don't even break up with me, you leave me dangling, and I make it your choice cause I didn't realize how deep the rabbit hole led, now I know, and now you are going to loose your chance to break up with me, I'm gonna break up with you.

Why do my relationships end this way?

[manoclay]

It wasn't fine when you broke up with me over IM-- but I got over it.
It wasn't fine during the 2-year-long tease afterwards about getting back together.
It somehow got better when I thought I'd moved on.

Two passionless relationships later, and I realized after giving a heart away once, it's hard to love the same way when you get it back. It's probably my fault, but let's hope this isn't once bitten, forever shy.

But maybe it's your fault, and that's enough.

[tspikes51]

Fuckin' A, I need a good fuck pretty soon or I'm gonna lose it. Winter break has been killer.

[insidious_machinae]

This message has been deleted.

[noodle]

I took you back. I took you back twice. I trusted you again. You said in a drunken text that you wanted to marry me. And cleared it up, of course, the next day. But you still wanted to try again. I did. We were different. A healthy supportive relationship, imagine that! I knew things were off. My Christmas present mysteriously didn't arrive until after New Years? You pulled away after a text from an ex on New Years Eve. No codependency, so overwhelming drive to spend every waking minute together, more respect, more concern for me and my needs. or so I thought. Damn, did you just get so tired of thinking about my needs at times? I love you. I have loved you for two years. I have loved your child, your faults, your quirks. I have loved the goofy-nasty wart on your elbow, the patch of hair above your butt, your flat feet, and your amazing mind. I don't care that you're overweight. I don't care that everyone else thinks that you're an asshole. What I do care about is that you never EVER trusted me. You wouldn't even break up with me in person. For the second time, mind you. Fuck me, I'm an idiot. You came over Wednesday before the trip because you and I were so flipping excited. You didn't want to be alone and neither did I. Beautiful sex and cuddling. You fucked me again on Saturday even though we were both exhausted from snowboarding and your friends were up and down the hallway outside the door. You ignored me all day Sunday, wouldn't cuddle that night, no eye contact or speech yesterday until the text in which you tell me we're incompatible and you're mad at yourself. Fuck that. I told you I'd fight for what I want. Fucking TALK to me. Coward. Have to be Big Bad Man in front of all of your friends, calling me a fucking idiot repeatedly, then snuggling up at night. Why? Why do I love you still? Why do I let you keep doing this to me? I don't know what I did, but I trust your judgement that it must have been heinous enough that you cut me out of your life completely before I even got home. But the kicker, you jackass? Accuse me of being addicted to medications and threaten me with a restraining order. Yup, I'm on Wellbutrin (mostly because of you, dickhead), and flexoril for the fibromyalgia (gee, thought it would be a good idea to take a couple after falling down the mountain 1800 times), and some cold medicine. I want to stalk you like I want to dive into the back of a fucking garbage truck at 4 o'clock on a summer afternoon and go swimming. What makes you think you're so important? I don't want to stalk you. I don't want to see you again. I did want you to look me in the eye and tell me all of your feelings and accusations. For my own closure. So I could stop loving you, Puppet-master. By not telling me what I did wrong, you know you've got the upper hand, eh? All I wanted was for you to really let me love you. Now I want you to fuck off. I want to stop crying. I want to get over you. Not to forget, because there was some good stuff. But to not feel anything for you. Apathy. Because anger would give you more power over me. Self-righteous pig. I am rejoining the gym. I am going to take up boxing. I am going to kick your ass if you ever come near me again. I am going to heal somehow, you hear me, you bastard?

[kangaeru]

After years of fucking around and womanizing, I finally saw something in you that I thought was different.

I didn't want to have sex with you the first week hung out, or in the week after that. I really respected who you are as a person and as a woman, and I was going to let my guard down and trust you.

And then you flaked out, withdrew your sincerity, and ruined everything. Maybe you got scared?

I don't know, but you're a stupid, stupid girl and you'll never know what you missed.

Neither will I.

[Jim Kata]

You swallowed for the other 5 guys you gave head to and weren't even in a serious relationship with them. We have been together for 5 years...can't you do it at least once in a while for the man you are going to marry!?!?
Why can't you give me some head after I have been inside you. Its your juices and would be super super hot for you to do that inbetween position switches.
Anal play.....you said you enjoyed it a lot more than you expected....so why don't you let us explore it some more. I'm not talking crazy dildos in the ass...but you know...just some fun.
I still love you more than life though baby. Just get in that porno movie type of mood once in a while.

[HalcyonDaze]

I'm thrilled that you got the chance to study abroad in Ireland. I hope you have a fantastic time. But damn am I horny. :-P

[Hat]

I met a girl a while ago who's gorgeous, intelligent and funny. I love that we both acknowledged what was already extremely obvious last night, that we like each other a whole lot.

I hate how bittersweet that is. I hate that she will be going back interstate in two weeks for uni, I hate that we've decided to remain just friends and get to know each other a lot for the rest of the time she's here, and I hate that I think that's the right thing to do, as anything else would discredit how we feel towards each other and put pressure on the whole thing.

And yet I can't stop thinking about her...when I'm at home the things I normally do have lost their lustre...guitar? Not feeling it. Movie? My mind will just start wondering...music? Practically 95% of music is about girls anyway so that doesn't help. We're seeing Match Point on Valentine's Day...

[ariekitten]

i had a crush on you for such a long time, but it was like you never saw me. we were friends, but you never were sincere.
then you had your heart ripped out (didn't i tell you that whole time she was cheating?) and you decided to let me in.
and just when i thought i was finally coming to terms with this newly found (close) friendship, you play on my feelings for you and complicate things so much more. i didn't want to have sex with you. not because i wasn't attracted (i clearly was), but because i didn't want to let myself have that with you if i wasn't special to you. i didn't want to be another one-nighter.
now everytime i see you or talk to you or talk about you, there's that awkwardness there because i fear i'll fuck up and let someone know. i think about you more than i should. i sat mindlessly scribbling your name on a piece of paper the other day, then tore it up and threw it away.
the things you shared with me that i thought were your innermost thoughts/feelings turned out to be bullshit. i know you bullshit everyone, but me? haven't you gotten to know me enough, to trust me enough, that you could for once show me the real you? and have faith that i can handle all the shit about you that maybe others can't handle? all this time, and still i'm not special enough for honesty.
do you fear that i'll fuck you over like she did? or maybe your mom hating me has something to do with it. you've never cared about what your mom thought before, so why should it matter now? maybe your friends think i'm not good enough for you.
well you know what? i hate your stupid pill-popping. drugs can't answer all your problems, even if the doctor prescribes them. and hell, it would be one thing if you took the meds to fix your problem, but you abuse them, take so many that you no longer have feelings. apathy and nihilistic attitudes won't make life better. maybe i can't save you, but you are worth saving.....you've had the power to save yourself all along.
you want me to come over and watch cartoons again, but will you beckon me to sit closer, offer me a massage? will i have the self control to resist your smile? i wrote a poem for you...but how can i share the innermost pieces of me when you just set them in the pile of all the other random pieces people have given you? it hurts.

[joemc91]

Ok, this is not quite the same kind of vent as most others have, but here goes. I really should have gone home with my sister's friend when visiting her at school. I felt really weird being attracted to her friends, but it would have been WAY more comfortable than sleeping on the floor. So it goes.

[NotAnAlias]

You're the smartest person I know; you write essays that are twice as long as mine in exams, to do that you have to remember something. So why is it that whenever I talk about stuff we've done you say you don't remember?

You say you're cold and callous and a bitch and you can't get close to anyone, that you don't feel butterflies you your stomach or that x-factor about me. But we have a connection like nothing else, you told me you love me on a handful of occasions, and I know you meant it. You say that you're an actor and you know how to play and manipulate people, but the last 6 months (2 in long distance) haven't been a fucking act. If that was an act, then forget law - head to Hollywood, because there isn't a professional actor in the world who could pull that off.

Yes, we're great friends, why can't you see that we're also a great couple?

You're scared of intensity, you think you can't care for anyone, you think that you'll never have a long term relationship. Why? I don't know how you even judge most of that.

I think you just don't want to be in a position where you can't make yourself believe that you're in control and that you're an isolated island, just so you can't get hurt.

And if you like control, why the fuck did you A) drink and B) let two sleazy fucking arsehole guys, one of which is a fucking old man, take advantage of you? I warned you about drinking and losing the control when you flirt and carry on. I warned you about that fucking cocksmack tristan would come back and try to get in your pants again. I warned you that if you were drunk when he did something awful might happen. I warned you and I was fucking right.

You're not an experienced drinker; you said you'd never drink again after the new years before we met, I’d never seen you drunk.

You used to call me sexy, and I believed you. But now I'm finding it hard to believe that you could find me physically attractive at all.

You felt betrayed and questioned me when I fucked up and let lust and sex get in front of everything great we have. You called me a typical male. I know, I was, but I caught it, I fixed it, I made the changes for you.

You criticised me for being a typical male, then you feel enough attraction to kiss other WORSE chauvinist fucking arsehole, being drunk and peer pressure is no excuse, but you know that already.

But having said that, I don't care. I don't care that you kissed him the dickhead australian. It's not your fucking fault that you fell asleep on rob's bed. It's not your fucking fault that he decided it was cool for a 31 year old to sleep in the same bed as a 19 year old girl with a boyfriend. It's not your fucking fault that in the morning he decided it was cool to kiss you "heavily".

I don't understand how you could keep hanging around with him, and to be honest, that kind of fucking hurts. But I don't care. I know what we have is something so much better than those stupid arseholes up there in shitholetown, Vermont, ALL THE FUCKING WAY IN AMERICA will ever have. We have something they'll never understand.

I forgive you. As hard as it is to believe I can sweep it all under the mat, I just did. I forgive you. It doesn't mean anything. It wasn't something serious. Fuck, it could have been so much worse, and for a minute on the phone when you told me, I thought it was. I forgive you. But you have to forgive yourself.

Why can't you believe that someone can care for you so much that they can miss you more than they miss oxygen in a vacuum? I know you don't care much about yourself, but that's all the more reason for me to care about you. I know you think that you destroy everyone who gets close to you, that you can't attach for the long term, but you have to get over it. You say you're a used piece of tape because you've apparently loved too many people, but you haven't had that many relationships, and it's no different to anyone else in the world, and they still continue on. Just after you left you said you could see us lasting for quite some time, but now it's all on the knife's edge. You acknowledge that I am pretty much the perfect guy for you, and you're my perfect girl, isn't that reason enough to try and work together to get over the "tape with no stick" issue? I am here, your perfect guy, someone who you've clicked with on a level you've never felt before, and I’m saying we can work this out. We can continue to be happy. We can continue to be perfect for each other. We just have to work together and try.

I'm sorry I smothered you when you were here; I wanted to give you as much space as you wanted, but you never demanded any - you didn't want to go out with friends, you wanted to be with me, and so I gave you what you wanted. I'm sorry I smothered you when you were gone, with a blanketing of sad emails that reminded you of real life, not the plastic and artificial bullshit life you've been leading for the last 3 months. I'm sorry I was and am so emotionally fucked up. I'm sorry that I am the most needy and fragile person you've ever known.

I'm sorry, but I still love you.

And I know, if this doesn't work out, I'll move on eventually, but I will still love you until the day I die.

[Dungeon_Shade]

Why, in fucks sake, doesn't ANY girl take interest in me, and every time they do, I always end up in the "friend's" category? I have every single thing a woman would want. I am good looking, rich, funny, young, have insane ambition, and have many, many friends. What makes all of you too good for me? I just don't understand! The ONLY thing I have against me is that my body is small, but I am not short. I have been offered to become a model, and I never talk about myself! Why do you feel like you can tell me about your relationships, that you can use me to "comfort" you when your asshole boyfriends say something mean? Why am I your intellectual whore? Why is it that every single time I get close to you, I suddenly loose all of your respect? Why is it this is how every girl treats me? I have tried everything. I have tried to be myself, to be nice, to be an asshole, EVERYTHING! Any why is it that when you tell me you aren't interested you won't tell me what I did wrong? Why do you always say the bullshit "You are too close a friend. I can't judge you because of that"?
What is it? Do I smell bad? Do I look goofy? Does my small body really turn you off that much? Am I too needy? JUST FUCKING TELL ME FOR CHRISTS SAKE! I am nineteen, and still a virgin! I haven't even been kissed! Do I give off this vibe, that you shouldn't touch me? And why is it that I loose interest in you so quickly? Why do you ask if I am gay? Why do you think I am a pussy? For god's sake, I jump off 100 ft cliffs for fun, smoke weed, and run from cops on a almost weekly basis! Am I too good for you? Please tell me. I have been told that I am too nice, or that I am too much of an asshole. And why is it that girls that I have no interest in whatsoever are the ones who fall in love with me? And when I go for the one's I don't like, the same fucking thing happens! Why do you think that because I am a virgin, I am innocent and pure? I have probably done and thought more unpure things than you and ten of your friends. Fuck it. from now on, I'm just going to go out there, looking to get laid. If you think I'm not worth it to get in a relationship, then I will only use you for sex. I will be an asshole. I will treat you like shit, just like the men you bitch to me about, yet will still fuck.

But I know I will never change.

[martinguerre]

Originally Posted by martinguerre

the next relationship i have is going to end after it starts.

pre-emptive breakups are fast becoming the bane of my existance....i've only inflicted one, i don't really need three back at me to teach me my karmic lesson.

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

I'm serious this time.

[oberon]

This is five years too late, but here goes. I wish you'd noticed that I'm not your typical asshole boyfriend. I wish you'd noticed that I'm infatuated with you and can't stop thinking about how much I'd like to kiss you. You're a smart girl who gets along with everyone. You're adventurous, and you do everything right, or so it seems. I wish I'd grown some balls and told you how I felt. Even now, I wonder how much better my life would be if only I'd known you alone for a single day. Even now, I wonder what you are up to, and wish you only the very best. Even now, I think about the women I know better and how you compare, even though we never were.

Today. Long distance sucks. There's no way I can deal with it. I need the touch, the emotion, the sight, the sound, the feelings, the thoughts, everything that is great about a partner. Two years ago I'd never have said that. But being alone for so long... it gets to you. Fuck that.

And if you say you had a blast when I took you out, why haven't you so much as talked to me since that night?

[yellowchef]

Ok, so Im always stuck at a rock in a hard place. Like why in the world do my feelings do this to me? So Im not perfect, kiss my big toe. Really, anyone who could make me think twice about my future(specifically that dream job you're chasing) I WOULD DEFINITELY TAKE A LONG HARD LOOK AT! I've changed, I'm not the person who belongs in a 6x9, I'm the person who belongs next to you. Nobody is perfect, we just have different flaws. When you word your questions funny and I give you an "evasive and funny answer" get out of asshole cop interrigation mode and think like a normal man. I'm not interested in fucking around. Compared to you I'm a saint in that department. Yes, you hold my sins over me, I'm holding yours over you. Yes I'm moving in June but must you eliminate all possibility of anything because of that. Nothing is set in stone but I DONT HAVE ANYTHING WORTH STAYING FOR DOWN HERE. You could be it but you never know until you try. I'm not leaving to get away from you, nor am I looking to "replace" you and I'm over the fuckbuddy phase. I'm not going to let you go without a fight but no matter how tarnished my past is you should take me as I am now. If I wanted to hide anything from you I wouldn't have told you and we wouldn't be in this boat. I have great remorse in my past decisions, I have nobody to blame but myself. I've changed and you can see that. Get off your high horse. Youre an awesome person, Id take you home to my family and I dont often do that. Yes, all my bf's have met or talked to my family but most have been by force and not by choice. No I dont love you(in the romantic way but I do love and care for you as a person) so dont put words in my mouth. I LIKE you, the last time I spent all night on the phone with someone, we got engaged. I feel like Ive known you forever. You're cuddly, deal with it tough guy.

The things you say to me stick with me. Telling me that you've applied for some high level security jobs and you might go back to Iraq is fine. Its cool that you want to do that. I just want you to know that when you say you might be over there for a year and you ask me if I want truth or sugar coated answers about the conditions and you tell me that I shouldnt worry Im going to let you know what I think. Its how I am. I want the truth and I can t help it, Ill just worry. Just to let you know this is how I see it... if I were in your shoes I dont think I would tell just anyone those things. I might mention the types of jobs Ive applied for but I wouldnt go into detail. I miss you. A lot.

The sex, it was beyond amazing. I trust you and that has a lot to do with it. I didn't feel pressured..I really didnt plan to spend 4 hours at your house that night...you talk a lot of shit. You do back it up though. I don't know why I miss you so much, I shouldn't. I don't miss you because of the sex, I miss you because before we even had our clothes off and we were tickling/wrestling with one another and we were tangled up in each others arms I felt good. I felt happy.

I keep telling myself I knew I should have run. We wouldn't be in this awkward situation if I had just gotten dressed and left. Never looked back, never called, never IMed. I wouldn't feel so torn up about revealing my past to you, about hearing the disappointment in your voice... and just visualising the look on your face. I felt miserable, it was a hard thing to tell you, especially over the phone. For 2 days I felt like I had just let you down.. I cant change my past love but I can build a better future.

Youre still cuddly, tough guy. I still want you; mind, body and soul.

[yellowchef]

As for you boy 2... you know who you are and you know how I feel. I thank you for the hospitality. I wish we had been able to do more together. You're pretty fuckin cool no matter what those other 2 people say.

Absencse makes the heart grow fonder... and dont think I havent missed you every day since I left.

Who knows where the path of life will take me. For now its a slow but steady climb to graduation, then.... well home I guess.. I dont know. I hate feelings. I hate decisions. I hate it when nothing is clear. I guess only time will tell.

Just remeber, its a good thing you sleep like a bear... other people have to put up with my snoring.

[SplOOgE MunkeY]

I posted some cruel things, and I am sorry. I am sorry that you found them and was hurt. I never intended for you to feel so heartbroken over what you read. I do love you, even if you dont see it. Im fucked up, I know it, and Im sorry. I dont know how to fix it either. I am self destructive, and I wish that I could overcome all the insecurites that I have. I wish that I could go back, and stay the person who you fell in love with, I cant understand why I am so messed up sometimes. I know you felt that pain when you read what I wrote, that I had somehow betrayed you and our relationship, but I didnt mean for it to be that way. I never thought that you would want to leave over some words. I was faithful to you always, I cared for you more than I could ever express, and yes I loved you more than I could ever show you, even if it was fucked up in some ways. I gave you everything I had, I stayed when I felt like I wanted to run, and I cried too over you..more than I even care to talk about. Im sorry you think I dont want you, or that your broken...Im the one who is broken. I never took anything we shared for granted, even though you think I did. I was always loyal to you. and was by your side when it came down to the wire. I never turned my back to you. Now you said it was over, your done with me, and dont want to be with me anymore. How those words cut into my very chest and make me feel as if Im dying, much like I did to you I suppose. Your going to leave me, the only person who would be there for you no matter what happened, the one who took care of you after surgery, and yes no matter how fuck up it seems the one who loved you through all the shit that happened, and I still love you. I wont stop, you cant make me, your the love of my life and now Im 1/2 of what I was. You wont ever understand me, I know that, Im damaged goods. I wish I wasnt. I wish I was like one of your ex-girlfriends sometimes, you always said they were not crazy and fucked up like me. If I was, then maybe you would still want me, want to share a life with me, but Im not, and I am going to be alone. Your leaving me here alone, with no hope of ever recovering, I meant it everytime I told you I loved you. I never lied about that. I meant it when I told you I wanted a family with you and that I would never leave. I didnt lie about those either, and your the one leaving not me. I dont want this, I have put so much of myself into us. I thought you and I was inseperable, but I guess not. Your hurt, my words cut you in the places that you held dear to your heart, but they were just words. I didnt cheat, or betray you. I love you, why cant you just see that? I hold all the times we have shared inside my heart, I cherish them so intensely. Why do I fuck things up, I dont know. I know that I didnt mean to fuck this up though. I wanted you to love me forever, but I guess you cant. Im sorry for hurting you, I miss you already. I want you to know that when I see you I will tell you how I feel, and how I am sorry for being what I am, I cant help Im fucked up, Ive tried. I hope you forgive me, and want to work it out, but if you cant then I will love you enough to let you go, and just admire you from afar. You have my love and always will.