New to sex
 

When I was growing up I heard quite a few times that "it's not the size of the gun, it's how you use it" whenever somebody would talk about how big they were. Now I'm not too concerned about myself, but I am rather intrigued as to what exactly that means. I'm 19, and currently in my first, long term relationship, but we've only recently begun to have sex, and describing myself as a novice would be more than fair, and I'm afraid I must confess I have little to no idea what I'm doing.

So I guess what I'm asking is as far as general sex advice, what are some pointers, or maybe books (that would be really useful) you would recommend to a neophyte?

I'd share my anecdote about how long it took to figure out how to properly get it in the first time, but it's far too embarassing. So I'm afraid you will all just have to imagine : )

Thanks in advance for any help!

You don't need no fancy book learning for this.

Practice, practice and more practice.

Oh and size does matter but thats nothing you need to worry about right now.

hehe Thanks Ustwo

Well practice may be key, but I think it is important to learn something or a few somethings by reading or being taught. Just looking around this forum will be a great investment of your time. For one I don't think any amount of practice is going to teach how to go down on a woman. Now you could say that you should ask the woman what feels good, but you never know if she's had oral sex before or if she even knows supposed she's to be feeling. She may have never have had an orgasm before! You can't count on the other person knowing exactly what they want. How often do we know what's good for us? If we did I think we'd all be a lot happier.

There's a lot you can do by talking to your partner, but somethings you just need to learn from others experience. Anyways sex would be boring if your partner knew every move your were about to do because they have told you what to do. You wanna pleasently surprise them now and again. So just read around these forums. They will most likely ease some of your worries, teach you new things, and possibly help prevent problems before they start.

Okay.

So you want to be good in bed? Well, I'll give you the simple rule.

Stop. Look. Listen.

The reason so many guys aren't very good is because when the little guy gets excited they lose their head, so to speak. This is how you get people who end up like a fellow one of my female friends dated, who earned himself the nickname 'the two-pump chump'.

The first step is to stop. Don't just shove it in. Take your time, pay attention. My first time and any time when I don't think I'm going to last, I go down on the girl first. That way, even if I turn out to be a one minute wonder, I know that she'll be walking away happy.

Sometimes you and she just want a quickie. That's cool, but for anything else if you don't think you can give it to her with your tool, use your hands and mouth instead. Even if you're strongly averted to going down on a girl (something I'll never understand, but I hear there are guys like that out there) you still have two hands. Get into some heavy petting.

And when you're doing it, look and listen. Even if she doesn't outright tell you, she'll let you know what works for her and what doesn't. Try different things until you find something that really works for her, then stick with it.

If you feel comfortable doing it, ask her to masturbate for you. She already knows what gets her off and if you can get her to demonstrate for you, you'll be one step ahead of the game.

The actual deed, well... getting good at that is just practice. The rest of this is just to make sure she keeps coming back, so that you'll get the chance to practice as much as possible.

And no, there are no books. As much as us men may wish otherwise, women don't come with instruction manuals. You'll just have to figure it out on your own.

I would say watch some porn movies and see where women like to be touched. The best ones would be where the girl is masturbating or a lesbian scene. And if you dont know, you may want to learn the location of the clitoris. I think women are more emotional and want sensual caresses during foreplay and during. But also, once you get going and your hormones are rushing something a little rougher is good. I dont know about all that hard pumping shit, but the same effect can be accomplished and prolonged by just pushing it real hard. Its like when your lying in bed and you have morning wood and you start pushing against the mattress real hard.

Size may matter, but you can do an awful lot with a pair of needle nose pliers. Sex is more than physicality. There is an emotional bond. If you dont have that, your missing out big time. And that is better than anything in the world. Having sex is great, but making love is amazing.

I'm sorry, but WOW is that a bad idea. Porn isn't made to be instructional. Looking at any random porn film and then doing most anything you see there to your girlfriend is almost certainly a bad idea. Porn "lesbians" do what they do in a way that's supposed to look to a GUY like it feels good to the GIRL. Which doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what will ACTUALLY feel good to a girl.

Look: human beings had sex long before there was an Internet, before video porn, before books. They had sex before the invention of written language. Our ancient pre-human ancestors did it before there was anything like a sophisticated spoken language. Somehow, they figured it out. I'm betting you're at least that smart.

My one piece of advice: communication is a GOOD thing. Talk to her about what works and what doesn't work.

Just know where the money is at. Locate and memorize the location of her clit and G-spot, you will know when you've got there by the sounds she's making. Alright then its all just about finding interesting ways to get there and simulate these respective places. And all things can be forgiven with some good oral sex, and there are plenty of threads on here for that.

I started to post that and got side tracked. Good thing you didn't have to agree with me again :lol:

Yeah I agree with anyone who said communication is key. She'll tell you one way or another what feels good and what doesn't. Hell make it easy and ask her to let you know what she likes. Pay attentiont to her how she reacts to certian stimulations and you'll be golden.

just go with the flow, and follow your instinct--very simple

There are lots of educational materials (not porn - that's unrealistic to say the least) that have been made for people in your situation.

Sex is sort of like a math class... you do the reading and learn the material, but master it in the homework afterwards. That is to say, you can come into sex as a virgin and know how to make your partner happy, but experience with that partner will allow you to make them even happier.

Just read up on some things and communicate with your partner. Then practice, practice, practice. I'm sure you can handle that. :)

simple tips --
rhythm is good
if you don't know what to do or what feels good, ask
practice is key

The Guide To Getting It On

There are undoubtedly some who will say it's not very (manly/necessary/cool) to read such as this, but they're fools. Do yourself (and any current/future partners) a favor and get ahold of this book. Were it only that I had read this at your time of life.

A lot of it has to do with the girl as well. My old girlfriend I HATED, nay, dreaded, going down on her. She kept herself clean and groomed, just didn't taste good down there.


My new girlfriend though, also keeps herself clean, and I can't get enough of going down on her.