innovis

So I kind of hooked up with this chick for some sexual fun 2 months ago (non-intercouse stuff), but afterword we didn't really see each other or make any attempt to continue it.

She told me she was planning to lose 60 pounds, how tired she was of not being able to wear attractive clothing, etc. After she'd told me that (it was a large concern for me, my father is probably going to die within 2 years from the side effects of his morbid obesity) I told her that if we were going to have a relationship that she'd have to follow through with her plans because I have become more health concious and I feel it necessary that my partner is relatively healthy(she probably weighs more than me [in the 220+ range]). So basically she didn't lose weight and knew that she wouldn't have me so she didn't interact (this was after that encounter).

Fast forward to a week ago. She friends my roommate via myspace, and I guess they talked occasionally. I was out of town last weekend for Thanksgiving, and he ends up hanging out with her Saturday night (first time he or I have seen her in 2 months). And then Sunday night she spends the night. And then like 2 other nights this week. And she had planned to sleep over the other nights as well.

I really don't have any emotional attatchment to her at all, because I can see she wasn't right for me in the first place, she was just probably the most sexually agressive girl I've been with and it was a fun, eye openning experience. On the other hand, I feel weird because shes going after my roommate now, and it weirds me out that hes "going somewhere I've been", I guess? He acts differently around her, now I'm usually the odd one out getting picked on or pushed to the side, for this girl he wasn't all that interested in 2 months ago (in fact he made fun of her). I can't just say, don't date her, or whathave you, but I really feel like shes knowingly getting between our friendship.

Suggestions? Comments?

Reese

I'd just try to get over it. IF she is dating him to make you mad/jealous/whatever disapproving is only going to encourage her. You're going to be the odd one out when you're with the two of them, especially early in their relationship. I'd just give it more time, but I definitely wouldn't say anything to them YET.

Just my 2.01 cents

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Cimarron29414

Let's suppose your roommate's name is Mike. How about this: Every time they start picking on you, look at your roommate and ask something like "Hey Mike, does she still do that thing with her tongue in your ear while she strokes you? I loved that move!" That will stop the teasing!

Basically, your roommate broke the "man" code, section 27 paragraph 4: "A friend CAN NOT date anyone you kissed. Anyone you kissed carries the hands-off equivalency of "sister" status. If a friend wants to date someone you kissed, they MUST ask you for permission prior to engaging in any form of sexual contact. If your friend upholds these rules and asks permission then you are required (man code section 27, paragraph 2) to give him approval."

Your roommate's membership card has been revoked. Please confiscate it and cut it into little pieces.

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Ustwo

Part of this is about maturing sexually. Unless you marry your highschool sweetheart and never have sex beyond that, the older you get the more you will go where men have gone before. Its not a big deal, but sex is something too new and something you don't have a lot of experiance with yet to really put it in perspective.

As for your friendship, yes its quite possible that she is doing it to hurt you, after all you hurt her (women can get hurt by the wind blowing funny so saying someone needs to loose weight, even if they know it, will still hurt them).

As for your friend, well pussy makes men do stupid things and pussy makes young men do really stupid things. Tell him you never had sex with her (if he doesn't know that) as the 'wierded out' you are feeling he may be feeling as well. Don't go into any details about what you did.

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innovis

Thing is he already knew what we did, and he is weirded out by it too, but hes continuing along anyways. I'm not sure if hes lonely or if he really wants sex that bad.

rlynnm

I've always believed in this carnal rule that one should not date anyone close to them has dated previously. It makes for very uncomfortable situations, even if you may be over that person. It's a tad disrespectful for your buddy to go ahead and date her and hang out with her in your guys' place. It's tactless and inconsiderate, but it seems he's very aware of that. Maybe some of it is done with spiteful intent on his behalf. Have you and him always been cool with each other before all of this? At worst, he might be using her just to get under your skin. Or he might just be desperate for some ass..

It seems you're over her, but there's a nagging feeling inside of me that says she isn't quite over what you guys had. Who knows, maybe she wanted something more but her inability to follow through with what she had planned may have embarrassed her badly enough to let it go, but going out with your buddy, well it allows her to be in your life somehow. Maybe she wants to secure an opportunity for you to see her when she does lose the weight and her say 'look at me now, and you can't have me anymore'.

Then again, maybe they do genuinely like each other. You should talk to your buddy to ask how serious he is about her, and if she is nothing more than fling to him, he should get ass elsewhere.

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innovis

Hes probably my best friend, besides my brother, and he really doesn't have any motive to do it to make me feel uncomfortable. I think he just wants ass badly.

And the girl could have been in my life anyways, I didn't push her away, she had somewhat similar interests, we could have continued hanging out or whatever, but we just didn't.

I think he'll get tired of her eventually and see that while she has similar interests, she doesn't really have that great of a personality (in my experience interacting with her, she didn't add anything to the group dynamic, wasn't interesting or engaging, kind of just laughed when everyone else laughed and didn't say much besides chiming in to agree about things).

rlynnm

A best friend, someone near a brother wouldn't put ass before a friendship, no matter how bad he wanted it.

__________________
The hardest thing is to be honest with yourself, especially if that means completely redefining the world you've come to know.

Don't look too hard, I'm right in front of you.

tspikes51

One of my ex-girlfriends got married to one of my best friends from high school. This was about 6 months ago. If they don't really like each other, it'll resolve itself, and if they do, it will make you happy to see them happy in the long run.

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