Doh, I messed up again - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

joemc91 · 11-20-2005, 05:35 PM

After dating a girl for 2 weeks, I mentioned that I was looking for a relationship. Oops. So a week later she says she isn't looking for a relationship and but just dating. I think I managed to scare her off. I should really just stop talking most of the time. How do I mention that I'm ok with just dating for now?

cellophanedeity · 11-20-2005, 05:43 PM

How about you just tell her?

"You know, if a relationship came up, it would be nice, but I'm cool with just dating for now."

Avoid any bullshit.

joemc91 · 11-20-2005, 05:58 PM

Yeah, I did tell her that I'm fine with just dating, but I guess she has problems with that. Chalk it up to a learning experience I suppose. It does send the wrong message I think because now I am very unlikely to let a girl I am interested actually know that I am interested in a relationship. Of course, this means tons of ambiguity. Wonderful.

william · 12-09-2005, 02:57 PM

One good thing is you found out that you two are not looking for the same thing. It's not like you're limited on who you can see. Stay open, and find one who is more compatible for you.

Sultana · 12-09-2005, 03:46 PM

Yeah, it's not a bad thing at all. You don't want to "trick", or be seen as trying to "trick" a gal into a relationship. Just keep trying, you'll find someone more compatible, and it won't be a drama right out the gate.

joemc91 · 12-09-2005, 04:23 PM

Funnily enough, I didn't push continuing dating at all. Then out of the blue the other day, she contacts me and we're talking and eventually I am invited over. I guess after giving her room for two weeks, she became interested again. She really wants to date now. The problem was that we had never gone on a real date, just pseudo dates with friends. No romance or anything. Who knows, I don't understand how these minds work. She knows what I'm looking for now and is apparently ok with it. So, it's all good again.

11-20-2005, 05:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
joemc91 Insane Location: Chicago	Doh, I messed up again After dating a girl for 2 weeks, I mentioned that I was looking for a relationship. Oops. So a week later she says she isn't looking for a relationship and but just dating. I think I managed to scare her off. I should really just stop talking most of the time. How do I mention that I'm ok with just dating for now?

12-09-2005, 03:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	Yeah, it's not a bad thing at all. You don't want to "trick", or be seen as trying to "trick" a gal into a relationship. Just keep trying, you'll find someone more compatible, and it won't be a drama right out the gate. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

12-09-2005, 04:23 PM	#6 (permalink)
joemc91 Insane Location: Chicago	Funnily enough, I didn't push continuing dating at all. Then out of the blue the other day, she contacts me and we're talking and eventually I am invited over. I guess after giving her room for two weeks, she became interested again. She really wants to date now. The problem was that we had never gone on a real date, just pseudo dates with friends. No romance or anything. Who knows, I don't understand how these minds work. She knows what I'm looking for now and is apparently ok with it. So, it's all good again. Last edited by joemc91; 12-10-2005 at 09:22 AM..

11-20-2005, 05:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
cellophanedeity Heliotrope Location: A warm room	How about you just tell her? "You know, if a relationship came up, it would be nice, but I'm cool with just dating for now." Avoid any bullshit.

11-20-2005, 05:58 PM	#3 (permalink)
joemc91 Insane Location: Chicago	Yeah, I did tell her that I'm fine with just dating, but I guess she has problems with that. Chalk it up to a learning experience I suppose. It does send the wrong message I think because now I am very unlikely to let a girl I am interested actually know that I am interested in a relationship. Of course, this means tons of ambiguity. Wonderful.

12-09-2005, 02:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
william Psycho	One good thing is you found out that you two are not looking for the same thing. It's not like you're limited on who you can see. Stay open, and find one who is more compatible for you.