Advice on How to ask a Girl out (note: this thread is two years old) - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

joeyaz · 11-17-2005, 05:08 PM

I've had a problem and I'm not sure how to address so I thought I'd turn to my friends at tfp..Being 24 years old you'd think I would not need advice but..

well anyways I was injured at work a few weeks ago and I've been going to Physical therapy for a couple weeks and I met this girl that is an assistant there from the moment I saw her I felt something ..

I've only seen her twice she only fills in at that clinic when someone calls in we seem to talk alot and have alot in common sorta small talk but maybe borderline flirty I just feel I don't know maybe a spark that I havent felt in years. She stays near me and helps other patients but comes back to where I am to talk to me, If I were to describe the type of girl I always thought I'd be with it'd be her.

I feel like I have opportunity..for example I ask what are you doing after work on friday..she says nothing and ask me what I'm doing..I say nothing then an awkward silence..I would like ask her to maybe meet up somewhere to hang out or something..but I hesitate because its been about 5 years since I've asked a women for her number (when I did not have liquid courage) and since I know they probably have this policy on seeing patients and its a small office so if I were to say something someone would probably hear or the doc would probably hear me..

I asked her when she will be at the office again..she told me the day before thanksgiving she will be there so I made an appointment for that day, she will be filling in for the receptionist that day and there is a high possability that will be the last time I'm going to see her...so any advice on how I can approach this?

Carno · 11-17-2005, 06:17 PM

Hmmm... If there is no one around you could say something like, "I know we haven't talked a lot, but I'd really like to get to know you more. Maybe I could call you sometime?" Or something to that effect.

If you're concerned that someone will narc on you, you could always try something a little more subtle, but possibly would require a little probing. If you get the chance to talk to her during your appointment, try to find out a little about what she is into (music, etc). Then do what you did before, except when she asks what you are doing, be like, "I'm going to ______ (maybe a restaurant or a club or a concert or just a park or an ice cream stand, someplace you think she might like to meet you at) at 6:30. You know, it would be really cool if I saw you there."

That kinda gives her the chance to open it up more and maybe give you her number or ask for yours or show interest, whatever. Then just show up and wait for her. Make the location public and well lit, etc, to increase the odds of her showing up.

Mantus · 11-17-2005, 10:43 PM

Quote:

she says nothing and ask me what I'm doing

If it help, she already said YES you silly goose. Ask her out, she digs ya.

joemc91 · 11-17-2005, 10:56 PM

I second Mantus. If SHE asks you what you're doing then AND answered that she isn't doing anything, that is the green light to ask her out on the spot. You'd better ask her next time! Hope it goes well.

777 · 11-17-2005, 11:07 PM

Stop thinking and just tell her to give you her number. Thinking, bad. Action, good.

Sounds like she's into you if she's going out of her way to chat with you.

Good luck ans let us know how it goes

Siege · 11-17-2005, 11:41 PM

I can tell you this, you aren't getting any closer by NOT asking her.

I just came back from a night of drunkeness where all my friends were telling me to pick up girls. However, they were all taller than me (curse my vertical challenges) and the only short girls left when I went to get some air.

But looking back, I did have the time to talk to the short girls.

Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!

HalcyonDaze · 11-18-2005, 01:32 AM

So the next time you're in will be the last time you'll ever see her.

So if she rejects you, nobody will ever know, you'll never see her again, and you'll find some other cute girl in a couple weeks when you hurt yourself again. :-P

But it's not like she'll reject you anyway. As mantus et al said, she was waiting for you to ask her out last time and you didn't follow through. This time, have a cool place or thing to do in mind (that is very public), and ask if she wants to go. Just do it right in the flow of conversation.

If you want to be smooth about it and pre-empt any doctor/patient problems, you could say something like "Now that I'm just about healed up I won't be in here anymore, and I'd hate to not get to see you again." I don't know if it's necessary, though.

ratbastid · 11-18-2005, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jbleed

for example I ask what are you doing after work on friday..she says nothing and ask me what I'm doing..I say nothing then an awkward silence..

... while she silently thinks to herself, "I hope he'll ask me out! I hope he'll ask me out! I hope he'll ask me out!"

Seriously, dude. Grow a set, stop listening to your head, and make your move. You're reading the signs right, you're just choking in the clutch. RELAX. She's into you. Just ask.

la petite moi · 11-18-2005, 09:52 AM

ratbastid's right. When a girl actually ADMITS to doing nothing, that usually means: "Nothing, but I would LOVE to hang out with you!" I know this because, being a girl, I usually tell unwanted suitors that I'm "busy."

Cynthetiq · 11-18-2005, 09:58 AM

what's that gretzky saying... 100% of the shots never taken never make it into the goal... something like that.

make a move, before someone else does.

joeyaz · 11-18-2005, 11:19 AM

Got a long wait till the 23rd now!

I do need to get more..confident I have to do it I'd hate to have to report back that I didn't even try and it would bug me for a long long time..

Just needed a little nudge..Thanks guys

Suave · 11-19-2005, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 777

Stop thinking and just tell her to give you her number. Thinking, bad. Action, good.

Sounds like she's into you if she's going out of her way to chat with you.

Good luck ans let us know how it goes

Exactly. And if you can't get yourself to ask HER, give her yours.

Cimarron29414 · 11-19-2005, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

what's that gretzky saying... 100% of the shots never taken never make it into the goal... something like that.

make a move, before someone else does.

Cynthetiq-
You're stealing my quotes from the Shyness/Introvert thread!

Here is my suggestion:

1) "Girl, you make me wish I wasn't healing so fast because now I won't get to visit with you here! So, why don't we get together at the local Barnes and Noble for a cup.....maybe catch that new film "<insert name of film that she might actually want to see here>" afterwards?"

The fact is, you are already in. It doesn't matter what you say - she is going to say yes. Asking girls out for the first time, man, those were good times.

Signed,

old married guy

Dragonknight · 11-19-2005, 09:44 AM

Yeah so everybody is basically telling you your golden. I agree with them all. Just take a deep breath and ask is all there is to it.

noodles · 11-19-2005, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dragonknight

Yeah so everybody is basically telling you your golden. I agree with them all. Just take a deep breath and ask is all there is to it.

what he said

if it helps to comfort you more, if things don't go well, you will very likely never see her again. this also means that you take action now or never. i've passed up many similar golden opportunites and been left wondering "what if" down the road. you'll hate yourself much more later for not doing it than the discomfort you'll get out of going for it if things don't go well.

joeyaz · 11-21-2005, 04:34 PM

Hello! Well I had therapy today and this girl was there..I had some time to sit and wait so I was trying to hype myself up but still thinking of an excuse not too ask her.., I get my horoscope texted to me daily and it said "you could be given another chance to try something you failed at in the past" so I knew I had to say something now or never..I don't usually believe in those but it helped

My therapy was almost up so in the middle of her saying something I blurted out "Wanna do something on Friday like grab a bite or something I mean if not thats cool or if you can't.." something like that but I said it really quick I think I caught her off guard she looked a bit shocked and said "umm yeeah sure yeah" and I said "well let me know or whatever" I shouldnt have said that..but I was too nervous I forgot to ask for her number! But she will be there Wed so I will definitely try to get it..I felt a different vibe from her the few minutes I had left in therapy, good vibes she was giving me a different kind of smile I don't know maybe I just felt better..

Willravel · 11-21-2005, 04:36 PM

Blurts are so freaking great. I love it people blurt things out. jbleed, you did good. Congrats and good luck.

Mantus · 11-21-2005, 08:38 PM

You did good jbleed.

Celebration song!

It's peanut butter jelly time,
peanut butter jelly time,
peanut butter jelly time

Do the peanut butter jelly,
peanut butter jelly,
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!

yosho · 11-22-2005, 12:14 AM

haha well i'm sure she thought it was cute and flattering that you sounded so nervous
most girls do, so I think ur okay...

however definitely try to be more comfortable with her on ur little get together because nothing scares girls off more than guys being awkward.

just relax, have fun, take the pressure off urself, and be interesting!

FngKestrel · 11-22-2005, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jbleed

Hello! Well I had therapy today and this girl was there..I had some time to sit and wait so I was trying to hype myself up but still thinking of an excuse not too ask her.., I get my horoscope texted to me daily and it said "you could be given another chance to try something you failed at in the past" so I knew I had to say something now or never..I don't usually believe in those but it helped

My therapy was almost up so in the middle of her saying something I blurted out "Wanna do something on Friday like grab a bite or something I mean if not thats cool or if you can't.." something like that but I said it really quick I think I caught her off guard she looked a bit shocked and said "umm yeeah sure yeah" and I said "well let me know or whatever" I shouldnt have said that..but I was too nervous I forgot to ask for her number! But she will be there Wed so I will definitely try to get it..I felt a different vibe from her the few minutes I had left in therapy, good vibes she was giving me a different kind of smile I don't know maybe I just felt better..

That's awesome. Good work. Remember to breathe from here on out. Awkwardness is cute, but confidence is sexy.

Suave · 11-22-2005, 12:44 AM

What about awkward confidence? Best of both worlds?

World's King · 11-22-2005, 01:25 AM

My only advice is this...

Don't spend the whole date talking about your injury. So far it's the only think you two really have in common. You're hurt and she makes you feel better... even if only in your pants. Make sure that after the pain is gone that she's still the girl of your dreams.

Cimarron29414 · 11-22-2005, 12:07 PM

jbleed - That's cool. Now you have to be a lot cooler about things. You non-committal attitude might become a turn off really quick. You need to settle in between the huge gap between "what-evar!!" and humping her leg.

She needs to know that you wanted to ask her, rather than it being a spur of the moment thing. However, she also needs to know you aren't going to be staring in her window Saturday night.

joeyaz · 11-22-2005, 04:18 PM

Well I do feel much more confident now and hopefully the confidence I have now will carry over to tomorrow figured I'd mention to her when I see her that I was nervous and forget to ask for her phone number so see how it goes I'll try not to over analyze the situation or I'll mess myself up lol..its somewhat tough since I'm on Light duty they have me doing the type of work where I have nothing to do but think all day for 8 long hours before I have my appointment!

I know that if we do end up going out sometime this weekend most of the shyness or awkwardness I had will be gone.

Its funny we rarely talk about my injury the other techs ask me more about it. We usually drift off into other subjects to the point where we will almost forget that I'm there to do therapy and I end up taking someone elses therapy time so I think if we were out on a date the last topic I'd want to discuss is my injury..

Today my freaking horoscope said "A recent success helps you recognise your true potential" lol so anways I'll report back tomorrow, hopefully something good

Thanks alot everyone!

smooth · 11-22-2005, 07:29 PM

this thread is worthless without pics

seriously, good job dude.

joeyaz · 11-23-2005, 01:48 PM

Well its all in her hands now!

Well I went in today feeling good but it was soo busy...I confidently asked if she still wanted to do something friday..she said she was busy then the doc kinda walked over and started asking me questions and she walked away, I was feeling bad and I felt my confidence go up in smoke but later on she came over and said she is not busy saturday..so I asked for her number she looked pretty spooked though and had to help someone else, later on she says that she could get into alot of trouble or even fired if someone else heard us she tried once or twice to give me her number but from then on the doc was always right near me or the other tech was standing right near me trying to talk to me so right before I leave she whispers to me that she will pull my number from the file...so now I gotta wait lol

My horoscope is sorta 3 for 3 now " You have been working hard to prove something to someone: has it been worth it? You will find out today." lol kinda vague but I found a way to apply it to myself.

Cimarron29414 · 11-23-2005, 02:07 PM

Ha! I am such a dork! The first thing I thought when she said "I will pull your number from your file" was "Hey, that's a violation of HIPAA!"

I will bet you a Sacagawea Dollar that she calls you on Thursday. You are in, my man! BTW, did your doctor release you? If so, I doubt she could get fired anymore.

Mantus · 11-23-2005, 02:49 PM

Shit! Thats a rather uncomfortable situation. My guess is the doc was on to you. BE CAREFUL! From now on keep things low key, you don't wan't to get her fired now do ya? Even if she doesn't call, don't panic, contact her again.

My fingers are crossed for you jbleed,

Quote:

kinda vague but I found a way to apply it to myself.

Thats how they work!

joeyaz · 11-23-2005, 02:50 PM

No not a release yet..just had a MRI the other day..I don't see a release anytime soon I fear the worst as far as that goes but now I sorta look at that freak accident as a blessing in disguse

so yeah she called me already..I'm feeling amazing heading into turkey day !

Thanks alot everyone glad I have good people to turn too to help guide and motivate when silly things like this happen .

World's King · 11-23-2005, 03:23 PM

Wow... she called already. I think this is the only time in Tilted Sexuality that someone actually got a date from our advice.

Fuck... We could write a book.

Mantus · 11-23-2005, 04:10 PM

Amazing! Enjoy your date jbleed. Keep us posted.

joeyaz · 11-24-2005, 11:05 AM

"A dating book from the contributors of tilted sexuality!" That sounds like it would be a best seller!

So to update she ended up calling me last night and we went out to dinner we just had drinks/appitizers and sat and chatted for about 3 1/2 hours till they kicked us out, then we went to catch a late movie and hung out a bit after the movie till about 1 in the morning, then we talked on the phone till about 3 maybe 330 in the morning!

Amazing!

World's King · 11-24-2005, 11:23 AM

Jesus man... Don't go through your "A Game" in the first week.

Take your time.

Mantus · 11-24-2005, 11:25 AM

NO KISS?! Oh well, it can work to this relationships advantage.

It sounds like you developed a great connection to her. Wonderful! Next date, work on developing intimacy. Touch her, getting your body closer to her, if she indicates intrest (you know how to notice this don't you?) end the night with a kiss. Trust ME. Sounds like she is really into you. I am very happy for the two of you.

Take it easy and enjoy the weekend jbleed

HalcyonDaze · 11-24-2005, 06:25 PM

Wow, between this thread and BigDonkey2's "great night," the normally dour sexuality forum is positively chipper!

There is love in the air in these parts. :-)

Dragonknight · 11-24-2005, 09:15 PM

OUTSTANDING! Congrats on the move well made, and the enjoyable date. Now that your in take your time and enjoy it. Be VERY careful at her work though, you have to keep it professional there. It will look bad if her job finds out. I'm glad to hear everything worked out though. Good luck with the future.

777 · 11-25-2005, 09:53 AM

hey, cool. It's like your those little teeny boppers that can't be apart for more than 5 minutes. Congrats with the nurse. And who ever made up the policy that pacients can't have some fun with the staff might be envious of those who do.

Martian · 11-26-2005, 11:03 PM

Sigh.

I'm glad this worked out for you, but the bottom line is this: if you don't ask you'll never know. It amazes me what people assume about other people without even bothering to find out the facts first :

"Well, she probably already has a boyfriend."
"There's probably some policy in place preventing employess dating patients/customers/clients/co-workers."
"She's probably way out of my league."
"She's probably not interested."
"She's way too hot for me." (translation : she'll think I'm ugly)

If you haven't said one of these things, you've probably at least heard them. So I make this general statement, for jblood and for anyone else who may read this; if you like a girl, stop frittering about and just bloody well ask her out! No nervousness, no avoiding it, no shyness, just do it.

You may think that's difficult or even impossible, but everyone's seen some guy who can just walk up to a girl and unabashedly ask for her number. I am one of those guys, so I know the secret. It's as simple as self-confidence and realizing that the worst she can do is say no. If you get rejected, you will not be dragged out into the street and shot, everybody will not point and laugh and you will not be automatically turned down by all womankind for the rest of your life. Further, by putting yourself on the market you will be rejected sometimes, plain and simple. There is no man who is the ideal for every woman everywhere just as there is no woman who fulfills every man's every desire. The corollary to this is that there are guaranteed to be some women somewhere who will find you funny, interesting or cute. The only way to find those women is to keep asking the women you're interested in until one of those girls proves she is part of that group who digs you by saying yes.

The way I see it, rejection is a good thing. If you get rejected, you know where you stand and you can move on. There are other fish in the sea as they say, and if one turns you down then you know that you don't need to waste any more time or energy on her. You can find another girl.

So as to where you stand. You've had a date with her and you're itching to make another I imagine, if you haven't already. Great. I do not in any way advocate playing games or trying to impress people. You know what you want, the only way to get it is to go after it. That said, I'd also say don't read too much into this. You two seem to have clicked very well and that's excellent for you; however, one date does not true love make. Things are going well. Don't fixate, don't think you're in love and do not set up expectations now. She may decide that she doesn't like you. She may have decided that early on Friday night and spent the rest of the evening being polite while privately thinking 'why won't this jerk leave me alone?'. She may meet another guy between now and your next date and decide she'd rather be with him. She may even have already decided that you'd make a better friend than lover. She may do or have done all of those things, or she may be madly head-over-heels in love with you. The direct approach here will likely only result in making everyone uncomfortable and may even destroy what you've built up so far. So my advice to you now is to take things slowly and just go with the flow. If you don't set any expectations of how this is going to develop then you won't be hurt or disappointed when they aren't met and if things don't work out for the best you can smile and truly say 'all the best' to her.

Or that's my two cents, anyway.

Cimarron29414 · 11-28-2005, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mantus

NO KISS?! Oh well, it can work to this relationships advantage.

It sounds like you developed a great connection to her. Wonderful! Next date, work on developing intimacy. Touch her, getting your body closer to her, if she indicates intrest (you know how to notice this don't you?) end the night with a kiss. Trust ME. Sounds like she is really into you. I am very happy for the two of you.

Take it easy and enjoy the weekend jbleed

jbleed - do NOT end the night with a first kiss! START the night with a kiss! It always works better because there isn't any buildup. Go pick her up, walk up to the door, she opens it, say "Hi", and move in with a soft kiss on the lips. No tongue. That way, only one of you has anxiety about the moment and it will be much more enjoyable. Secondly, you don't have to worry what she thought about it for the next 8 hours apart. And lastly, it is a nice transition towards a "real" kiss. It breaks the ice without going over the top. Every time I did this (back in the stone ages), things progressed much easier than waiting on the dreaded end of the night uncomfortable BS.

joeyaz · 11-28-2005, 02:36 PM

Thanks

There is actually a strict policy about seeing patients but I was released today..so..

Though I wont be going to her company party if a few weeks lol

We have hung out everyday since we hooked up so things are going so very well its hard to describe, extremly quick progression? Yes but I'm unable to fight it

Its easier said than done to approach women with confidence I think but then again some women seem to dig the guy who doesn't approach every good looking women he sees guess a good medium is the best maybe?

That woulda been good to start the night with a first kiss, I was unable to give a hug after the first date because I got nervous

Second date I got the hug and first kiss out of the way right off the bat, she asked if she could get the hug she was waiting for yesterday when I picked her up so I just said forget it and went for both at once

Everything has been great! Couldn't have imagined it any better.

11-17-2005, 05:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
joeyaz Tilted Location: Az	Advice on How to ask a Girl out (note: this thread is two years old) I've had a problem and I'm not sure how to address so I thought I'd turn to my friends at tfp..Being 24 years old you'd think I would not need advice but.. well anyways I was injured at work a few weeks ago and I've been going to Physical therapy for a couple weeks and I met this girl that is an assistant there from the moment I saw her I felt something .. I've only seen her twice she only fills in at that clinic when someone calls in we seem to talk alot and have alot in common sorta small talk but maybe borderline flirty I just feel I don't know maybe a spark that I havent felt in years. She stays near me and helps other patients but comes back to where I am to talk to me, If I were to describe the type of girl I always thought I'd be with it'd be her. I feel like I have opportunity..for example I ask what are you doing after work on friday..she says nothing and ask me what I'm doing..I say nothing then an awkward silence..I would like ask her to maybe meet up somewhere to hang out or something..but I hesitate because its been about 5 years since I've asked a women for her number (when I did not have liquid courage) and since I know they probably have this policy on seeing patients and its a small office so if I were to say something someone would probably hear or the doc would probably hear me.. I asked her when she will be at the office again..she told me the day before thanksgiving she will be there so I made an appointment for that day, she will be filling in for the receptionist that day and there is a high possability that will be the last time I'm going to see her...so any advice on how I can approach this?

11-17-2005, 06:17 PM	#2 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	Hmmm... If there is no one around you could say something like, "I know we haven't talked a lot, but I'd really like to get to know you more. Maybe I could call you sometime?" Or something to that effect. If you're concerned that someone will narc on you, you could always try something a little more subtle, but possibly would require a little probing. If you get the chance to talk to her during your appointment, try to find out a little about what she is into (music, etc). Then do what you did before, except when she asks what you are doing, be like, "I'm going to ______ (maybe a restaurant or a club or a concert or just a park or an ice cream stand, someplace you think she might like to meet you at) at 6:30. You know, it would be really cool if I saw you there." That kinda gives her the chance to open it up more and maybe give you her number or ask for yours or show interest, whatever. Then just show up and wait for her. Make the location public and well lit, etc, to increase the odds of her showing up. __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

11-17-2005, 11:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
777 drawn and redrawn Location: Some where in Southern California	Stop thinking and just tell her to give you her number. Thinking, bad. Action, good. Sounds like she's into you if she's going out of her way to chat with you. Good luck ans let us know how it goes __________________ "I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip." Roger Zelazny

11-17-2005, 11:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
Siege is a tiger Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada	I can tell you this, you aren't getting any closer by NOT asking her. I just came back from a night of drunkeness where all my friends were telling me to pick up girls. However, they were all taller than me (curse my vertical challenges) and the only short girls left when I went to get some air. But looking back, I did have the time to talk to the short girls. Carpe Diem! Sieze the day! __________________ "Your name's Geek? Do you know the origin of the term? A geek is someone who bites the heads off chickens at a circus. I would never let you suck my dick with a name like Geek" --Kevin Smith This part just makes my posts easier to find

11-18-2005, 09:58 AM	#10 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	what's that gretzky saying... 100% of the shots never taken never make it into the goal... something like that. make a move, before someone else does. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

11-17-2005, 10:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
joemc91 Insane Location: Chicago	I second Mantus. If SHE asks you what you're doing then AND answered that she isn't doing anything, that is the green light to ask her out on the spot. You'd better ask her next time! Hope it goes well.

11-18-2005, 01:32 AM	#7 (permalink)
HalcyonDaze Tilted	So the next time you're in will be the last time you'll ever see her. So if she rejects you, nobody will ever know, you'll never see her again, and you'll find some other cute girl in a couple weeks when you hurt yourself again. :-P But it's not like she'll reject you anyway. As mantus et al said, she was waiting for you to ask her out last time and you didn't follow through. This time, have a cool place or thing to do in mind (that is very public), and ask if she wants to go. Just do it right in the flow of conversation. If you want to be smooth about it and pre-empt any doctor/patient problems, you could say something like "Now that I'm just about healed up I won't be in here anymore, and I'd hate to not get to see you again." I don't know if it's necessary, though.

11-18-2005, 09:52 AM	#9 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	ratbastid's right. When a girl actually ADMITS to doing nothing, that usually means: "Nothing, but I would LOVE to hang out with you!" I know this because, being a girl, I usually tell unwanted suitors that I'm "busy."

11-18-2005, 11:19 AM	#11 (permalink)
joeyaz Tilted Location: Az	Got a long wait till the 23rd now! I do need to get more..confident I have to do it I'd hate to have to report back that I didn't even try and it would bug me for a long long time.. Just needed a little nudge..Thanks guys

11-19-2005, 09:44 AM	#14 (permalink)
Dragonknight Insane Location: Hawaii	Yeah so everybody is basically telling you your golden. I agree with them all. Just take a deep breath and ask is all there is to it. __________________ Freedom is NOT Free.

11-21-2005, 04:34 PM	#16 (permalink)
joeyaz Tilted Location: Az	Hello! Well I had therapy today and this girl was there..I had some time to sit and wait so I was trying to hype myself up but still thinking of an excuse not too ask her.., I get my horoscope texted to me daily and it said "you could be given another chance to try something you failed at in the past" so I knew I had to say something now or never..I don't usually believe in those but it helped My therapy was almost up so in the middle of her saying something I blurted out "Wanna do something on Friday like grab a bite or something I mean if not thats cool or if you can't.." something like that but I said it really quick I think I caught her off guard she looked a bit shocked and said "umm yeeah sure yeah" and I said "well let me know or whatever" I shouldnt have said that..but I was too nervous I forgot to ask for her number! But she will be there Wed so I will definitely try to get it..I felt a different vibe from her the few minutes I had left in therapy, good vibes she was giving me a different kind of smile I don't know maybe I just felt better..

11-21-2005, 04:36 PM	#17 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	Blurts are so freaking great. I love it people blurt things out. jbleed, you did good. Congrats and good luck.

11-21-2005, 08:38 PM	#18 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	You did good jbleed. Celebration song! It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!

11-22-2005, 12:14 AM	#19 (permalink)
yosho Upright Location: Cornell U	haha well i'm sure she thought it was cute and flattering that you sounded so nervous most girls do, so I think ur okay... however definitely try to be more comfortable with her on ur little get together because nothing scares girls off more than guys being awkward. just relax, have fun, take the pressure off urself, and be interesting! __________________ mm...sex is fun

11-22-2005, 12:44 AM	#21 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	What about awkward confidence? Best of both worlds? __________________ "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

11-22-2005, 01:25 AM	#22 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	My only advice is this... Don't spend the whole date talking about your injury. So far it's the only think you two really have in common. You're hurt and she makes you feel better... even if only in your pants. Make sure that after the pain is gone that she's still the girl of your dreams. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

11-22-2005, 12:07 PM	#23 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	jbleed - That's cool. Now you have to be a lot cooler about things. You non-committal attitude might become a turn off really quick. You need to settle in between the huge gap between "what-evar!!" and humping her leg. She needs to know that you wanted to ask her, rather than it being a spur of the moment thing. However, she also needs to know you aren't going to be staring in her window Saturday night. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

11-22-2005, 04:18 PM	#24 (permalink)
joeyaz Tilted Location: Az	Well I do feel much more confident now and hopefully the confidence I have now will carry over to tomorrow figured I'd mention to her when I see her that I was nervous and forget to ask for her phone number so see how it goes I'll try not to over analyze the situation or I'll mess myself up lol..its somewhat tough since I'm on Light duty they have me doing the type of work where I have nothing to do but think all day for 8 long hours before I have my appointment! I know that if we do end up going out sometime this weekend most of the shyness or awkwardness I had will be gone. Its funny we rarely talk about my injury the other techs ask me more about it. We usually drift off into other subjects to the point where we will almost forget that I'm there to do therapy and I end up taking someone elses therapy time so I think if we were out on a date the last topic I'd want to discuss is my injury.. Today my freaking horoscope said "A recent success helps you recognise your true potential" lol so anways I'll report back tomorrow, hopefully something good Thanks alot everyone!

11-22-2005, 07:29 PM	#25 (permalink)
smooth Junkie Location: Right here	this thread is worthless without pics seriously, good job dude. __________________ "The theory of a free press is that truth will emerge from free discussion, not that it will be presented perfectly and instantly in any one account." -- Walter Lippmann "You measure democracy by the freedom it gives its dissidents, not the freedom it gives its assimilated conformists." -- Abbie Hoffman

11-23-2005, 01:48 PM	#26 (permalink)
joeyaz Tilted Location: Az	Well its all in her hands now! Well I went in today feeling good but it was soo busy...I confidently asked if she still wanted to do something friday..she said she was busy then the doc kinda walked over and started asking me questions and she walked away, I was feeling bad and I felt my confidence go up in smoke but later on she came over and said she is not busy saturday..so I asked for her number she looked pretty spooked though and had to help someone else, later on she says that she could get into alot of trouble or even fired if someone else heard us she tried once or twice to give me her number but from then on the doc was always right near me or the other tech was standing right near me trying to talk to me so right before I leave she whispers to me that she will pull my number from the file...so now I gotta wait lol My horoscope is sorta 3 for 3 now " You have been working hard to prove something to someone: has it been worth it? You will find out today." lol kinda vague but I found a way to apply it to myself.

11-23-2005, 02:07 PM	#27 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	Ha! I am such a dork! The first thing I thought when she said "I will pull your number from your file" was "Hey, that's a violation of HIPAA!" I will bet you a Sacagawea Dollar that she calls you on Thursday. You are in, my man! BTW, did your doctor release you? If so, I doubt she could get fired anymore. __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly."

11-23-2005, 02:50 PM	#29 (permalink)
joeyaz Tilted Location: Az	No not a release yet..just had a MRI the other day..I don't see a release anytime soon I fear the worst as far as that goes but now I sorta look at that freak accident as a blessing in disguse so yeah she called me already..I'm feeling amazing heading into turkey day ! Thanks alot everyone glad I have good people to turn too to help guide and motivate when silly things like this happen .

11-23-2005, 03:23 PM	#30 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	Wow... she called already. I think this is the only time in Tilted Sexuality that someone actually got a date from our advice. Fuck... We could write a book. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

11-23-2005, 04:10 PM	#31 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	Amazing! Enjoy your date jbleed. Keep us posted.

11-24-2005, 11:05 AM	#32 (permalink)
joeyaz Tilted Location: Az	"A dating book from the contributors of tilted sexuality!" That sounds like it would be a best seller! So to update she ended up calling me last night and we went out to dinner we just had drinks/appitizers and sat and chatted for about 3 1/2 hours till they kicked us out, then we went to catch a late movie and hung out a bit after the movie till about 1 in the morning, then we talked on the phone till about 3 maybe 330 in the morning! Amazing!

11-24-2005, 11:23 AM	#33 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	Jesus man... Don't go through your "A Game" in the first week. Take your time. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

11-24-2005, 11:25 AM	#34 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	NO KISS?! Oh well, it can work to this relationships advantage. It sounds like you developed a great connection to her. Wonderful! Next date, work on developing intimacy. Touch her, getting your body closer to her, if she indicates intrest (you know how to notice this don't you?) end the night with a kiss. Trust ME. Sounds like she is really into you. I am very happy for the two of you. Take it easy and enjoy the weekend jbleed

11-24-2005, 06:25 PM	#35 (permalink)
HalcyonDaze Tilted	Wow, between this thread and BigDonkey2's "great night," the normally dour sexuality forum is positively chipper! There is love in the air in these parts. :-)

11-24-2005, 09:15 PM	#36 (permalink)
Dragonknight Insane Location: Hawaii	OUTSTANDING! Congrats on the move well made, and the enjoyable date. Now that your in take your time and enjoy it. Be VERY careful at her work though, you have to keep it professional there. It will look bad if her job finds out. I'm glad to hear everything worked out though. Good luck with the future. __________________ Freedom is NOT Free.

11-25-2005, 09:53 AM	#37 (permalink)
777 drawn and redrawn Location: Some where in Southern California	hey, cool. It's like your those little teeny boppers that can't be apart for more than 5 minutes. Congrats with the nurse. And who ever made up the policy that pacients can't have some fun with the staff might be envious of those who do. __________________ "I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip." Roger Zelazny

11-26-2005, 11:03 PM	#38 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	Sigh. I'm glad this worked out for you, but the bottom line is this: if you don't ask you'll never know. It amazes me what people assume about other people without even bothering to find out the facts first : "Well, she probably already has a boyfriend." "There's probably some policy in place preventing employess dating patients/customers/clients/co-workers." "She's probably way out of my league." "She's probably not interested." "She's way too hot for me." (translation : she'll think I'm ugly) If you haven't said one of these things, you've probably at least heard them. So I make this general statement, for jblood and for anyone else who may read this; if you like a girl, stop frittering about and just bloody well ask her out! No nervousness, no avoiding it, no shyness, just do it. You may think that's difficult or even impossible, but everyone's seen some guy who can just walk up to a girl and unabashedly ask for her number. I am one of those guys, so I know the secret. It's as simple as self-confidence and realizing that the worst she can do is say no. If you get rejected, you will not be dragged out into the street and shot, everybody will not point and laugh and you will not be automatically turned down by all womankind for the rest of your life. Further, by putting yourself on the market you will be rejected sometimes, plain and simple. There is no man who is the ideal for every woman everywhere just as there is no woman who fulfills every man's every desire. The corollary to this is that there are guaranteed to be some women somewhere who will find you funny, interesting or cute. The only way to find those women is to keep asking the women you're interested in until one of those girls proves she is part of that group who digs you by saying yes. The way I see it, rejection is a good thing. If you get rejected, you know where you stand and you can move on. There are other fish in the sea as they say, and if one turns you down then you know that you don't need to waste any more time or energy on her. You can find another girl. So as to where you stand. You've had a date with her and you're itching to make another I imagine, if you haven't already. Great. I do not in any way advocate playing games or trying to impress people. You know what you want, the only way to get it is to go after it. That said, I'd also say don't read too much into this. You two seem to have clicked very well and that's excellent for you; however, one date does not true love make. Things are going well. Don't fixate, don't think you're in love and do not set up expectations now. She may decide that she doesn't like you. She may have decided that early on Friday night and spent the rest of the evening being polite while privately thinking 'why won't this jerk leave me alone?'. She may meet another guy between now and your next date and decide she'd rather be with him. She may even have already decided that you'd make a better friend than lover. She may do or have done all of those things, or she may be madly head-over-heels in love with you. The direct approach here will likely only result in making everyone uncomfortable and may even destroy what you've built up so far. So my advice to you now is to take things slowly and just go with the flow. If you don't set any expectations of how this is going to develop then you won't be hurt or disappointed when they aren't met and if things don't work out for the best you can smile and truly say 'all the best' to her. Or that's my two cents, anyway. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

11-28-2005, 02:36 PM	#40 (permalink)
joeyaz Tilted Location: Az	Thanks There is actually a strict policy about seeing patients but I was released today..so.. Though I wont be going to her company party if a few weeks lol We have hung out everyday since we hooked up so things are going so very well its hard to describe, extremly quick progression? Yes but I'm unable to fight it Its easier said than done to approach women with confidence I think but then again some women seem to dig the guy who doesn't approach every good looking women he sees guess a good medium is the best maybe? That woulda been good to start the night with a first kiss, I was unable to give a hug after the first date because I got nervous Second date I got the hug and first kiss out of the way right off the bat, she asked if she could get the hug she was waiting for yesterday when I picked her up so I just said forget it and went for both at once Everything has been great! Couldn't have imagined it any better.