How do I bring birth control with my girlfriend? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

wristbandgoth · 11-16-2005, 08:00 PM

First of all, bless this forum. When i can't find a answer elsewhere, this place has helped me out tremendously.

Also, if this question has been already asked/answered, (and I am betting it has.) I am sorry, i was just too lazy. I am very tired from writing a paper.

SO, onto the question. I am a 19 yr old college sophomore. I have been going steady with my girlfriend for about a year and three months. So since we have started having sex, it has been condoms all the way. Frankly, I want sex w/o a condom very badly. But I feel very strongly about this decision being hers. After all, its her pill she would take into her body. I would like to be very respectful about it. But I also think, being in this relationship with the girl that I love, I have some damn say in the sex. So, any ideas about the right way to do this?

Thanks

Brian

tec-9-7 · 11-16-2005, 08:05 PM

I'd suggest just talking about it w/ her. Be prepared for her to respond in the negative tho, as most hormone-based birth control methods do have some side-effects. Still, it may be worth her while to try them, as some women are able to use these methods w/ no ill effects. It is worth noting tho, that if she's a smoker, the pill will increase her chance of developing cancer.

onodrim · 11-16-2005, 08:08 PM

Well if you've been together for over a year, I would think you'd have strong communication with each other by now. Just bring it up with her very honestly and sincerely. Ask her if she's ever considered going on the pill, and why or why not. Tell her how you feel about it and just have an open and honest conversation with each other. If you've been together that long and are having sex, bringing our sexual topics in coversation shouldn't be too hard.

Willravel · 11-16-2005, 08:38 PM

"I look forward to having kids with you someday, but if we have a kid now the kid would be entering a home with unwed parents and an extremly low income. I'm not ready for kids yet, but I really love you." *pulls out diamond earings* "Will you please take the pill?"

sailor · 11-17-2005, 12:20 AM

Just talk to her about it.

Or, the way I don't recommend: a pregnancy scare. Only takes one of those before you're both wanting her on the pill.

healer · 11-17-2005, 12:50 AM

Fortunately for me, mandy was prescribed the pill by her doctor due to the fact that her period was extremely painful for her.

Before that, however, we used to do it without a condom for two or three days after the last day of her period, when the chances of conception are very low. This method was always a bit worrying to me though.

Dragonknight · 11-17-2005, 01:53 AM

Yeah, I would loose my mind trying to count days. Too damn scary for me. I was lucky because my wife was already on the pill. I agree with everyone that says just talk to her. The relationship looks to have gotten to the point where you can openly talk to each other about something small. I'm leaning towards onodrim's approach though. This way your not openly saying, "I want you on the pill."

Lead543 · 11-17-2005, 02:19 AM

Grind it up each day and slip it into her orange juice.

My argument? Condoms break and slip and leak. The pill is 99% if you take it correctly and poses less of a moral dilemma then a broken condom does.

I'd go about it that way rather then "I just wanna do it without one". You could also try a female condom if you want something different...

HALJNS · 11-17-2005, 06:26 AM

I think you need help from the ladies lounge.There are alot of alternates to the pill now.

maleficent · 11-17-2005, 06:37 AM

Standard Maleficent Response here:

if you are grown enough to be having sex.. you are grown enough to be talking to her about birth control options. However, don't be surprised if she smacks you upside the head if you use as your excuse -- you waaaaant sex without a condom because it juuust feeeels better... (sorry - dated a guy who used to whine about that...

Suggest that you both get tested for STDS (again, your grown enough to be having sex.. you aren't having sex without a condom unless you know it's safe to) and then discussing options for birth control because condoms aren't overly effective...

Charlatan · 11-17-2005, 06:58 AM

Just talk to her about it. You are having sex with her for cripes sake... how difficult can it be?

sailor · 11-17-2005, 07:06 AM

Yeah, and like others said, don't use the "it feels better" reason. Use the pregnancy one. Condoms break.

serlindsipity · 11-17-2005, 07:21 AM

just to be fair and wise upon continuing your relationship, i would encourage also condisering full STD tests before getting on the pill. Better safe than sorry, and you will have full peace of mind, which is an amazing thing in my opinion.

But its fair to think that, and you are looking out for both of your best interests in avoiding screwing up your life. metnion that, i think she would appreciate your care cuz its a big factor to the sex life.

If your sex life is growing, so should your communication between you two.

11-16-2005, 08:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
wristbandgoth Upright	How do I bring birth control with my girlfriend? First of all, bless this forum. When i can't find a answer elsewhere, this place has helped me out tremendously. Also, if this question has been already asked/answered, (and I am betting it has.) I am sorry, i was just too lazy. I am very tired from writing a paper. SO, onto the question. I am a 19 yr old college sophomore. I have been going steady with my girlfriend for about a year and three months. So since we have started having sex, it has been condoms all the way. Frankly, I want sex w/o a condom very badly. But I feel very strongly about this decision being hers. After all, its her pill she would take into her body. I would like to be very respectful about it. But I also think, being in this relationship with the girl that I love, I have some damn say in the sex. So, any ideas about the right way to do this? Thanks Brian

11-16-2005, 08:08 PM	#3 (permalink)
onodrim Cosmically Curious Location: Chicago, IL	Well if you've been together for over a year, I would think you'd have strong communication with each other by now. Just bring it up with her very honestly and sincerely. Ask her if she's ever considered going on the pill, and why or why not. Tell her how you feel about it and just have an open and honest conversation with each other. If you've been together that long and are having sex, bringing our sexual topics in coversation shouldn't be too hard. __________________ "The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides" -Carl Sagan

11-17-2005, 12:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
sailor beauty in the breakdown Location: Chapel Hill, NC	Just talk to her about it. Or, the way I don't recommend: a pregnancy scare. Only takes one of those before you're both wanting her on the pill. __________________ "Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." --Plato

11-17-2005, 01:53 AM	#7 (permalink)
Dragonknight Insane Location: Hawaii	Yeah, I would loose my mind trying to count days. Too damn scary for me. I was lucky because my wife was already on the pill. I agree with everyone that says just talk to her. The relationship looks to have gotten to the point where you can openly talk to each other about something small. I'm leaning towards onodrim's approach though. This way your not openly saying, "I want you on the pill." __________________ Freedom is NOT Free.

11-17-2005, 06:37 AM	#10 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Standard Maleficent Response here: if you are grown enough to be having sex.. you are grown enough to be talking to her about birth control options. However, don't be surprised if she smacks you upside the head if you use as your excuse -- you waaaaant sex without a condom because it juuust feeeels better... (sorry - dated a guy who used to whine about that... Suggest that you both get tested for STDS (again, your grown enough to be having sex.. you aren't having sex without a condom unless you know it's safe to) and then discussing options for birth control because condoms aren't overly effective... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

11-16-2005, 08:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
tec-9-7 Insane Location: Rainy Washington	I'd suggest just talking about it w/ her. Be prepared for her to respond in the negative tho, as most hormone-based birth control methods do have some side-effects. Still, it may be worth her while to try them, as some women are able to use these methods w/ no ill effects. It is worth noting tho, that if she's a smoker, the pill will increase her chance of developing cancer.

11-16-2005, 08:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	"I look forward to having kids with you someday, but if we have a kid now the kid would be entering a home with unwed parents and an extremly low income. I'm not ready for kids yet, but I really love you." pulls out diamond earings "Will you please take the pill?"

11-17-2005, 02:19 AM	#8 (permalink)
Lead543 Registered User Location: Calgary	Grind it up each day and slip it into her orange juice. My argument? Condoms break and slip and leak. The pill is 99% if you take it correctly and poses less of a moral dilemma then a broken condom does. I'd go about it that way rather then "I just wanna do it without one". You could also try a female condom if you want something different...

11-17-2005, 06:26 AM	#9 (permalink)
HALJNS Upright	I think you need help from the ladies lounge.There are alot of alternates to the pill now.

11-17-2005, 06:58 AM	#11 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Just talk to her about it. You are having sex with her for cripes sake... how difficult can it be? __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

11-17-2005, 07:06 AM	#12 (permalink)
sailor beauty in the breakdown Location: Chapel Hill, NC	Yeah, and like others said, don't use the "it feels better" reason. Use the pregnancy one. Condoms break. __________________ "Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." --Plato

11-17-2005, 07:21 AM	#13 (permalink)
serlindsipity Psycho Location: Boulder Baby!	just to be fair and wise upon continuing your relationship, i would encourage also condisering full STD tests before getting on the pill. Better safe than sorry, and you will have full peace of mind, which is an amazing thing in my opinion. But its fair to think that, and you are looking out for both of your best interests in avoiding screwing up your life. metnion that, i think she would appreciate your care cuz its a big factor to the sex life. If your sex life is growing, so should your communication between you two. __________________ My third eye is my camera's lens.