Should I tell her or not? - Page 3 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Rubyee · 11-13-2005, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lampajoo

God, what horrible advice these "yes" people gave! as to the conclusion: just because doing something dumb doesn't result in misfortune doesn't mean it's not dumb. If you've got an awful secret like this and it's, as others have said, no longer an active issue then why would you tell someone? You're telling them because YOU want to feel better about what you did. You're taking it out on them. Just because an act, such as this, is self-sabotaging doesn't mean it's selfless. Be a man and keep your secrets to yourself.

Wow. You forget that your past can have reprocussions on others, too. He didn't want to tell her to lift a weight off his shoulders. He wanted to tell her so that she would know up front that she was dating something that she had grown to hate- not that he would ever do it again, of course! I think that he was more of a MAN for being honest and saving both of them some possible heartache in the future. This was not a situation of a vegan finding out that her significant enjoys a rare steak every now and then.

I hope the above quoted poster never gets into a situation like this.

I think that you were very mature and very brave to be honest with her. After all, it is what you would want if in the other position. It should show her that you are a great guy and have come a long way from past transgressions. By being honest with her about this, she knows that you are trustworthy and fully understand the consequences of your past and have come to grips with it. Glad to see that it worked out, too. Please don't listen to lampajoo. You treated this like any MAN with respect for another should.

In some cases, I do think that "what you don't know can't hurt you." But in this case, I think you made the right decision. Not everything needs to be revealed. But I think it is better that this was.

xepherys · 11-14-2005, 10:27 AM

Besides, you were 14... it's not like you were an adult taking advantage of a child. I don't see these as being similar at all, really...

aintyoboyfriend · 11-14-2005, 01:30 PM

You can't have a healthy relationship if it is based off of deception.

It sounds like you are at a turning point with this person, and you need to tell her soon, before things get too serious, or your relationship will never be any good.

If you tell her, she may bolt, and leave...

then again, she may realise that you have changed since that happened, and she may be able to deal with it.

Hiding this from her any longer is not an option...

The.Lunatic · 11-30-2005, 10:23 PM

NO! do not tell her. If you tell her you're fuct! What if you marry this girl have kids she'll never trust u!

Next life don't do it in the first place ;p

The.Lunatic · 11-30-2005, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aintyoboyfriend

You can't have a healthy relationship if it is based off of deception.

Who's brillant idea was it to tell your significant other ever single detail about your life (chicks). Sounds boring to me I like a little mystery

Mavric98 · 11-30-2005, 11:55 PM

You have to tell her, but not until it gets to the point in the relationship where all should be known.

View Poll Results: Should I tell her or not?
Yes	35	37.63%
No	43	46.24%
Not sure	15	16.13%
Voters: 93. You may not vote on this poll

11-30-2005, 10:23 PM	#84 (permalink)
The.Lunatic Psycho Location: Somewhere just beyond the realm of sanity...	NO! do not tell her. If you tell her you're fuct! What if you marry this girl have kids she'll never trust u! Next life don't do it in the first place ;p __________________ Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.

11-30-2005, 11:55 PM	#86 (permalink)
Mavric98 Tilted Location: I am not living.	You have to tell her, but not until it gets to the point in the relationship where all should be known. __________________ "Hope is for people that don't stand a chance."

11-14-2005, 10:27 AM	#82 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	Besides, you were 14... it's not like you were an adult taking advantage of a child. I don't see these as being similar at all, really...

11-14-2005, 01:30 PM	#83 (permalink)
aintyoboyfriend Insane Location: Arlington, VA	You can't have a healthy relationship if it is based off of deception. It sounds like you are at a turning point with this person, and you need to tell her soon, before things get too serious, or your relationship will never be any good. If you tell her, she may bolt, and leave... then again, she may realise that you have changed since that happened, and she may be able to deal with it. Hiding this from her any longer is not an option...