jwoody,

:lol: That was so good. :thumbsup:

Best: not important
Worst: wrong name several times.

Several times to the same person?!

Said to me...

Best: It's tighter than I ever could've imagined, you're wonderful.
Worst: ..I can't get off :(

That just happens sometimes tho.

i am horrible with names, so ive just stuck with sweetie, honey, etc. i am not making that mistake in the middle and getting blue balls again

Worst: It was my second time ever - she was on top and gyrating in a circular motion. I said, "That's a little distracting ..." I can laugh about it now but I really killed the mood in the room.
Best: You're wonderful.
(oh wait... I thought this was best things I said...)

Best: "Put it in me"
Worst: "Hold on, I have to pee! *hops up*" or "Wait... *Frrrttttt*" or "Are you almost done? (3-5 minutes into giving the worlds most un-enthusiastic head)"

Best: Any sort of moanings combined with pulling of my hair.

Worst: "No." (Which in turn produced my worst line: "Why not???")

Best: tie between "Nobody has ever made me cum like you do, holy god" and "I swear to god you were custom built for fucking me"

Worst: .... actually... I don't think I've ever had someone say something to me during sex that has been bad. I'll keep you guys posted.

Obligatory Dane Cook: "My dick feels like CORN"

Best: You're a machine!

can't think of a worst.

Best #1: "I looove anal."

Best #2: (in a good way) "Oh my God! What are you doing?" - after multiple orgasms she asked embarassingly, "What did you do to me? where did you learn that?"

Best #3: "Just tell me what you want. I'll do anything for you."

Best #4: A very unique animalistic scream I can't describe - afterwards she swore she never remembered making noise at all.

-------

Worst #1: Not one thing said but similar to that. She was a hot flight attendant/ lingerie model I dated for 4 years - everything was great until our sexual "clocks" got out of sync. She liked sex best when we were fighting or upset but wasn't in the mood when things were going great. (Which explains why she was always trying to find a reason to be pissed at me or to piss me off.) I was the opposite. Also I love morning sex. She didn't. In the end neither of us was getting any when we needed it most.

Worst #2: A very cute East Indian girl wanted me to show her how to give proper head. When I showed her she said, "That's stupid." Then proceeded to resume giving the worst head I've ever had in my life.

Worst #3: "I'm not in the mood anymore - sorry." Rolls over and goes to sleep.

Worst #4: "Would you mind wearing some of my clothes and makeup?" I guess in another time and place with another woman I'd try anything - but I mentally combined that with the times she hinted at wanting to screw me with a huge strap-on and the times she wanted to wear her biker leather during sex (she rides a Ducati). (oh... and the buttplug she wanted to buy for me) I added the whole thing up in my head and confronted her about the complete fantasy she wanted to fulfill. Looks like we were both dedicated tops.

i don't get the pig joke please explain

LOL!!! That's exactly what my brother's gf did to him. His name happened to be greg and mine was jeff. She kept calling him "Jeff...jeff" alot until Greg finally said "would you quit calling me my brother's name??!!?"

I can't think of anything I ever said because I just ask if they are enjoying it and some things like I love you and Oh God may pop out, but I am a very careful person in that situation.

However, I will say the worst thing I ever did was my first sexual experience after I came in her, I rolled over and masterbated. NEver even thought she may have let us take a go again.

Worst thing ever SAID to me was by my ex-wife..... we were having sex and she seemed to be enjoying it and she had initiated it, when all of a sudden she pulled my hair and said "get the fuck off me, you're making me sick". From there on the marriage went totally downhill fast.

I lost all desire in her, in every way. We'd try to talk about it but I'd just get pissed off.

Since the divorce I have come to find out she lives with a woman and is very much "gay".

I knew she was Bi when we met, and she claimed a man never gave her an orgasm, but the sex up until that time always seemed enjoyable for both of us.

Course maybe that is why she liked the oral I gave so much..... and I thought it was my technique.

If that's true, that is pure EVIL!!

I've only had one sexual partner in my limited experience, so it seems as if the best and worst both come from her mouth.

The best would be after I went down on her for the first time she said something to the effect of "I could die now and I'd be fine with that."

And the worst isnt something either of us said. It was more the fact that after our first time together I didn't come. That made her very self concious, in the end it just turns out that the damn condoms we had were like extra thick and had some numbing agent on them, later I tried to masturbate with one of them on and got nothing. The next day we bought some thinner ones and all was good.

Oh do I miss sex....

I have new bests... "Oh my god, I've missed you" and "Wait, you feel too good"

And worsts... "Damn, if only I was an inch longer, we'd be perfect" and "Sorry I got that in your eye." :lol:

Hoo, boy. I could make lists.

Best lines include some stuff like the ones included above, such as inarticulate screams, the old 'I've missed you', 'nobody's ever made me come like you do' and 'where did you learn that?'

The worst... well, I can count myself among the guys who've heard 'are you done yet?' I was after she said that.

Very true, extremely hurtful, She could say the most painful things at times and never think twice. She'd usually say them as we got romantically close.

Fear of closeness intimacy maybe. When it was just wild sex and no romance, she was great, but if I'd say I love you or do something romantic to show how much..... she'd ruin the mood and then act like it was my fault.

Best-"You're huge!" (I had always thought I was average).
"You fill me up!"
"No one's ever mad me come like that before."
"Has anyone ever told you that you're really good at that?"
"God, I needed that!"
"Round Two?" (Or three, or four...)

Worst-"Hold on, I gotta pee." (And she wonders why I get the floppies after that).
"What's wrong?"
"Why are you so quiet?"