Best and worst thing said to you during sex
 

So, we've all had those moments when we felt like the king or queen of the hill, and other times when we felt like burying our head in the hole (ok not that hole, you pervert). Often it's after your partner makes a flattering comment, or one ...not so flattering.

Whats the best and worse thing said to you during sex?

Here's mine:
Best: Wow, you really know how to use a cock!
worst: You *do* realize that that's not at all stimulating, right?

Best: Your perfect.
Worst: Thats not the right hole

all the best

Best:One more time daddy!
Worst: opps..sorry

Yea, Kathy!
(said to Sue.)

Edit: Have to mention I was 16 and very stupid.

Ouch...... :hmm: Now that's gotta hurt.

Best: God! You feel wonderful
Worst: Damn! Didn't realize how big your tits were! :(

B: Oh my god!
W: Can you put it back in now?

B runner-up: I think you punctured my uterus!

B: you smell so good!
W: smell my finger

Best (...and worst?): [just after I finish his blowjob] That'll do, pig. That'll do.

:lol:

LMAO!!
..

ok! my best is this:

"you cock is so wonderful for my vagina! i orgasm seven time from your member!"

my worst is this:

"oh, you cock wear me out! go to sleep, you, that is enough sexing for this night!"

Recent best (current bf :icare: ): "I just can't get enough of you!"
Worst (ex-bf, after my first time receiving oral sex): "For me, that wasn't the carnival ride that it was for you."

I said that to my boyfriend after sex the other night...he didn't get it and I had to explain it...subsequently it lost its humor.

Best: "I want you. Just you."
Worst: "I love you." (Boyfriend said it for the first time while taking my virginity...yeah...)

I'm still waiting on a best one. Possibly, "Mmmmm, ohhh..." That's always encouraging.

But there's always "You've got to help me out here" (Uh, Sweetie, you've got my feet on the headboard... what is it exactly you want me to do?), "You want my big juicy cock, don't you?" (soooo not him that I laughed. whoops), and "Did you come?" (Every. Single. Flipping. Time. It was one of those 'wait for it.... wait for it....' things) to keep me entertained. The list goes one, but I'll not mock him to death tonight. Another day, for sure.

edit for spelling

God, where to start?

Best: Yowza!
Worst: That does nothing for me, can't you give it a break for a while? (we'd only been at it a couple of minutes, and she never said how long "a while?" was. I figured she meant years, so that was the last time we slept together. Too bad, she gave a great "that'll do pig" blowjob too!)

Peace,

Pierre

Best:you would get a gold medal at the sex Olympics for that !

worst : that was great Greg (his name was Jeff )

Best: I officially declare that the best sex EVER!

Worst: suck it, bitch *pushes head down* <--biggest turn off ever

Best: "Baby you rocked me!", or "You feel so good", or after giving him a blow job "that was great, if that doesn't put me right to sleep not even a horse tranquilizer would"

Worst: "Who's your daddy"

Best: Oh my god, yes! Please tell me I can have more of that.

Worst: Okay, that's too much foreplay. I'm going home.

How can you have too much foreplay, really? Especially if you didn't say anything about it up until you're walking out.

Best: "I've never felt ANYthing this good & TIGHT before!" (Favorite BF!)

Worst: Me to Old BF "You seem so quiet after all that...like you never did this before..."
Old BF to Me: "Well, I never have done this ever before." Then He blushes.

* I guess I busted quite a few man cherries in my day. /Me smiling/

Best thing: wow, you sure know how to bang them.
^_^

Worst thing:Why isn't anything coming out?

;_;

Best: You are incredible. Damn, that was amazing. You are so sexy. (those are all GREAT)

Worst: Stop, you're ruining my rhythm. :(

best: hallelujah, holy shit, wheres the tylenol

worst: You fuck like my grandpa

The fact that that person knows how their grandpa fucks is a little concerning :lol:

maybe thier grandma told them how they fucked?

Best:...I want to marry you....(I did)

Worst:....You can leave now....( I was not a very nice person, long ago)

Fair enough. But I don't want to know how my grandpa fucks, I don't want to know how my dad fucks. Hell, if I had a brother, I probably wouldn't want to know how he fucks either.

Best: are you going to put all THAT in there???

worst: have u made the car repayments?

Best: oh my god, that feels amazing

Worst: did you come yet? (after answering in the negatory:) god damn!

Best: She said, "I think I love you more then I should."
6 months later...
Worst: She said. "I am an all or not kind of girl. And right now with School and 3 jobs. plus your school and work schedule. I just can't have you like I want you. So I think we need to cool it off for a bit"

Its now been a year. And I am still in love with this woman. What do i do? I am now graduated and have a wonderful job.

Best is hard. It all depends on my mood. Sometimes I just want to be held and told how much I am loved. Other times I want sweaty, nasty, illegal in 48 states type sex and called names. So it varies...

The worst was just utterly terrible. I didn't know weather to laugh or cry.

"What are you doing to me?"

Best (with my current gf): "Wow, you're huge!" (I seriously had no idea)

Worst: "You stink" as she was about to go down on me. That caused a serious case of the floppies.

Best: "Such a nice meaty clit..." (followed by lots of nice wet suction)

Worst: "The cat's looking at us like we're crazy."

This message has been deleted.

The best thing said to me wasnt said at all. After asking "so, how was that?" she replied by closing her eyes and letting out a trembling sigh.

The worst was: "hey! wrong hole" - I swear it was an honest mistake

Best: aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!! (several variations)
or
You can f*ck me any time! I don't care if we hate eachother!

Worst: WHAT are you DOING?
or
Is it in yet?

B: (could have been the worst) Holy fuck, to big, to big!
W: The devil rapes me and it burns! (she was quoting some movie but it was just like... wtf?)

Best: Holy shit, I can't believe how wet you make me!

Don't Know: *frowning*Doesn't it ever go down? (When I'm aroused, I'm hard, no matter how many times I come. The girl was pissed and thought she had some sort of obligation to fuck until I got soft.) It was bad thing from her point of view but I see it as a blessing so...? This is the closest I've got to a "worst" thing said to me.

Best: Hearing the words "God yes" and "oh my god", etc. w/God in it, from a girl who was wiccan, and despised all notions of "god". Flattering isn't the word. It was fucking fantastic.

Worst: "I love you" - Girl who worked where I worked (but rarely, so never talked to her), talked with briefly one evening, invited back to my apartment, and jumped into bed with me. Nothing says, "psychotic" than a girl telling you she loves you on the first night of casual sex, having really only met that day. My answer: "Yeah, that's really not cool at this point in time. Maybe you should go." and I never talked to her again. Found out she had just left her previous boyfriend a few days prior, and was just SO co-dependant, she was going to latch onto whoever asked for it.

"I wouldn't lick that, I've just come on it."
______

"Howay man, it's my turn. You've been going for ages."
______

"Are you sure **** is asleep?"
______

S: "What's that?"

K: "It's my balls."

S: "Noooooooo!!!!"

K: "I don't mind, really."
______

K: *standing in doorway* - "What's goin' on here?"

S: "Put the light on."

P: "Quick... put the light on."

S2: "No! Please don't put the light on.. please."

K: *puts the light on* - "Proper Porno!!!"
_______

"I... don't.... usually... do... this... with... people... I've... just... met.. you... knnnnnnooooooooowwwww."

jwoody,

:lol: That was so good. :thumbsup:

Best: not important
Worst: wrong name several times.

Several times to the same person?!

Said to me...

Best: It's tighter than I ever could've imagined, you're wonderful.
Worst: ..I can't get off :(

That just happens sometimes tho.

i am horrible with names, so ive just stuck with sweetie, honey, etc. i am not making that mistake in the middle and getting blue balls again

Worst: It was my second time ever - she was on top and gyrating in a circular motion. I said, "That's a little distracting ..." I can laugh about it now but I really killed the mood in the room.
Best: You're wonderful.
(oh wait... I thought this was best things I said...)

Best: "Put it in me"
Worst: "Hold on, I have to pee! *hops up*" or "Wait... *Frrrttttt*" or "Are you almost done? (3-5 minutes into giving the worlds most un-enthusiastic head)"

Best: Any sort of moanings combined with pulling of my hair.

Worst: "No." (Which in turn produced my worst line: "Why not???")

Best: tie between "Nobody has ever made me cum like you do, holy god" and "I swear to god you were custom built for fucking me"

Worst: .... actually... I don't think I've ever had someone say something to me during sex that has been bad. I'll keep you guys posted.

Obligatory Dane Cook: "My dick feels like CORN"

Best: You're a machine!

can't think of a worst.

Best #1: "I looove anal."

Best #2: (in a good way) "Oh my God! What are you doing?" - after multiple orgasms she asked embarassingly, "What did you do to me? where did you learn that?"

Best #3: "Just tell me what you want. I'll do anything for you."

Best #4: A very unique animalistic scream I can't describe - afterwards she swore she never remembered making noise at all.

-------

Worst #1: Not one thing said but similar to that. She was a hot flight attendant/ lingerie model I dated for 4 years - everything was great until our sexual "clocks" got out of sync. She liked sex best when we were fighting or upset but wasn't in the mood when things were going great. (Which explains why she was always trying to find a reason to be pissed at me or to piss me off.) I was the opposite. Also I love morning sex. She didn't. In the end neither of us was getting any when we needed it most.

Worst #2: A very cute East Indian girl wanted me to show her how to give proper head. When I showed her she said, "That's stupid." Then proceeded to resume giving the worst head I've ever had in my life.

Worst #3: "I'm not in the mood anymore - sorry." Rolls over and goes to sleep.

Worst #4: "Would you mind wearing some of my clothes and makeup?" I guess in another time and place with another woman I'd try anything - but I mentally combined that with the times she hinted at wanting to screw me with a huge strap-on and the times she wanted to wear her biker leather during sex (she rides a Ducati). (oh... and the buttplug she wanted to buy for me) I added the whole thing up in my head and confronted her about the complete fantasy she wanted to fulfill. Looks like we were both dedicated tops.

i don't get the pig joke please explain

LOL!!! That's exactly what my brother's gf did to him. His name happened to be greg and mine was jeff. She kept calling him "Jeff...jeff" alot until Greg finally said "would you quit calling me my brother's name??!!?"

I can't think of anything I ever said because I just ask if they are enjoying it and some things like I love you and Oh God may pop out, but I am a very careful person in that situation.

However, I will say the worst thing I ever did was my first sexual experience after I came in her, I rolled over and masterbated. NEver even thought she may have let us take a go again.

Worst thing ever SAID to me was by my ex-wife..... we were having sex and she seemed to be enjoying it and she had initiated it, when all of a sudden she pulled my hair and said "get the fuck off me, you're making me sick". From there on the marriage went totally downhill fast.

I lost all desire in her, in every way. We'd try to talk about it but I'd just get pissed off.

Since the divorce I have come to find out she lives with a woman and is very much "gay".

I knew she was Bi when we met, and she claimed a man never gave her an orgasm, but the sex up until that time always seemed enjoyable for both of us.

Course maybe that is why she liked the oral I gave so much..... and I thought it was my technique.

If that's true, that is pure EVIL!!

I've only had one sexual partner in my limited experience, so it seems as if the best and worst both come from her mouth.

The best would be after I went down on her for the first time she said something to the effect of "I could die now and I'd be fine with that."

And the worst isnt something either of us said. It was more the fact that after our first time together I didn't come. That made her very self concious, in the end it just turns out that the damn condoms we had were like extra thick and had some numbing agent on them, later I tried to masturbate with one of them on and got nothing. The next day we bought some thinner ones and all was good.

Oh do I miss sex....

I have new bests... "Oh my god, I've missed you" and "Wait, you feel too good"

And worsts... "Damn, if only I was an inch longer, we'd be perfect" and "Sorry I got that in your eye." :lol:

Hoo, boy. I could make lists.

Best lines include some stuff like the ones included above, such as inarticulate screams, the old 'I've missed you', 'nobody's ever made me come like you do' and 'where did you learn that?'

The worst... well, I can count myself among the guys who've heard 'are you done yet?' I was after she said that.

Very true, extremely hurtful, She could say the most painful things at times and never think twice. She'd usually say them as we got romantically close.

Fear of closeness intimacy maybe. When it was just wild sex and no romance, she was great, but if I'd say I love you or do something romantic to show how much..... she'd ruin the mood and then act like it was my fault.

Best-"You're huge!" (I had always thought I was average).
"You fill me up!"
"No one's ever mad me come like that before."
"Has anyone ever told you that you're really good at that?"
"God, I needed that!"
"Round Two?" (Or three, or four...)

Worst-"Hold on, I gotta pee." (And she wonders why I get the floppies after that).
"What's wrong?"
"Why are you so quiet?"