After I lost my virginity, I thought, "That's it?"

But I got an interesting tid-bit of knowledge out of the encounter: I want intimacy more than I want sex. I should have been doing this since I was 10.

I remember waking up the next morning and thinking to myself, "The world's still here... Life's still going on... Neither fire nor brimstone are falling from the sky... How'd that happen?"

I don't believe that I'm a different person for having lost my virginity - at least not different in way of having my basic personality change. I'm sure that I'm somewhat different now for all my sexual encounters, but the first time was not a mind-altering experience.

I dont think it changed me per se, I just had a bigger appetite for it.

It did change me. Ever since that day I had a powerful intrest in cave diving.

Odd, but I found myself giggle at that comment.

Didn't change me at all, except that I got even *more* excited about sex...kind of opened the doors and made me think "Wow, there's *so much* to be done with this!"

After I lost my virginity I became less judgemental of others who had lost theirs earlier. I realized how much of a prude I was for believing that "sleeping around" was a sign of moral "weakness." I can't believe I was ever like that to begin with - I'm glad I got over it.

It did change me in a couple of ways. First, I could stop lying about having done it! LOL. Second, I felt like it was a rite of passage into another phase of my life. I don't know that I can put it quite into words. I gained a degree of confidence that I didn't have before; I wasn't so desparate, I guess. Much like the first beer I had or the first curse word I uttered, it was a mark in the timeline of my fall from innocence. Ultimately, it was just one more thing I had to be forgiven for when I became a Christian.

I can say this, though--the women I was with afterward seemed to know that I was "experienced," and I think it was that confidence I spoke of coming through.

Huh? I mean, I am a former evangelical and all, but why did you feel the need to ask forgiveness?... sounds like you had a normal, exploratory growing-up experience. Fall from innocence?... no one can stay innocent forever, and it certainly wasn't a fault to try new things. But that is my post-Christian viewpoint.

Anyone else feel guilty after losing their virginity?

If you are a former evangelical, then you know that sex outside of marriage is fornication.

That others--even many others--do it doesn't make it right.

Yes, it is a fault. It's called a transgression of God's law.


And I'm speaking from my Christian viewpoint. But you knew that when you wrote, so what exactly was your point?

Well I lost it just over a month ago. It hurt and bled a bit. It hasn't really changed me much, except now I use a vibrator. I couldn't be bothered waiting for a long-term relationship. I don't really enjoy intercourse, I much prefer oral. Then again, I've only done it the two times.

Re:
 

I think that the unphysiological changes are just a myth. I just lost mine last summer, and I was 25. I had always thought that sex would be- not only an ice-breaker but also a permanent rapport with the person. <= What I mean by this is that it is easy to think that if a girl goes all the way with you, you'll at least be her friend for the rest of your (and her) life, but it doesn't work that way. Everyone views sex differently- is what I learned from losing my virginity.

Lo and behold I still feel innocent, still get nervous around women, and still put them on a pedestal sometimes. Moreover, the girl I lost it to I got to know a lot more over the months, and even though she isn't less attractive physically from when I first met her, knowing her personality and how little she cares about me- despite getting with me, makes me completely unattached to her and probably 10x more curious about women than before, wondering if, since other women are assumably "better" (nicer), what it would be like to get with them.

As well, I would look at a guy who is a virgin, who is completely able to approach women like it's nothing- as less innocent than a non-virgin who still "reveres" women.

Oh, and I also thought that losing it would make me less jealous about other people and their love lives, since I never really had one until last summer. I was certainly, certainly wrong about that as well.

I gained a lot of confidence, so I think yeah, it changes you in a psychological way.

I appreciated masturbation a whole lot more.

The boyfriend I lost my virginity to warned me that I'd always want it once I had it.

He was right. :D That was the only change.

:lol: I remember after we did it feeling as though I was walking funny or bowlegged and everyone could tell. :lol:

Bad as usual.
 

I can relate. Loosing my virginity was the worst thing that happened to me given my situation. The first time, of course, was terrible, It was dark, premeditated, and I thought about it the whole day which made things worse. I did it with a friend who was their to stay and, like I said, we were both bored. I was under a strict half hour schedule but had I known it would have lasted seconds, I would have been more relaxed.

The second time, wait for it, wait for it.......... was the next morning. God, it was good!!! It was the only morning sex I've ever had and I remember it so vividly outdoors porno feels like Deja Vu!!! I was 14. The third time, was 3 years later. During conversations with my mates, I was like zen master seeing as I had yanked it so hard I had crop circle chaffing.

After my first real girlfriend I kind of learned not to be dick and to have respect for women. I guess having sex changes you. Loosing your virginity, not so much.

I did.:no:

Made sex a lot more accessible. And meaningless.

You'd think the first time you'd feel more complete, more loved or accepted, but it Just felt like, "oh. Well. I've done it."

Subsequent women after her was the same--a means to get off and not a bond of intimacy.

So losing my virginity made me more promiscuous. Less worried about saving it for the special right girl to come along.

there's no such thing as "special right girl"

there are girls you will and can sleep with, and girls you wont or cant sleep with.

the only thing you need to save for "special and right" is your deeper self.

granted, sex is better with people who have met and are in touch with your deeper self.

I cherish the day I lost my virginity shortly after I turned 20. It may not have been the best sex I've ever had, but it released such a burden on my shoulders that for once in my life, I finally felt like a complete man.

However, that didn't mean I suddenly felt like chasing every woman out there. I do cherish the times I'm with them and definitely take advantage of the opportunities. But after I've lost my cherry, I no longer felt as if I must absolutely mate with someone to feel complete. Instead, I can now take my time to find the right person who can satisfy my emotional desires as well as my physical desires.

Even though we didn't stick together, I still remember that girl very fondly. And she'll always have a place in my heart.