Maybe a Nice Guy? Help!
 

All you guys out there... Help me out here! :)
I met him on friday at a bar (which i know is not a good place). I saw him when I came in and we were facing each other from a few tables away. Totally handsome, I thought. Not just in a cute boy way, but in a manly way. Blonde hair, blue eyes, blonde eyelashed and eyebrows. Very darling. Anyway, my friends and I were sitting at a table having a few drinks when these guys from Oregon preceded to hit on us. At first I wasn't digging it, but then again they had great personalities and were a crack up. So then we began to chat it up and were goofing around making jokes and having a good time. In the meantime, I keep eye balling my blonde eyed cutie... I know hes looking at me...
Anyway, my friends and I get ready to go to another bar... we head over to blondie's table where one of my friend's boyfriend is sitting. Blondie is sitting right next to him! I couldn't believe it... So I turned around and said hello. He immediately put his arms around me... so cute. Then we talked for a little and told me how he didn't want me to leave. He asked for my number I gave it to him. He called my phone right there and left a message on my phone with his number! I told him where we were going... he ended up coming there later. I wasn't around when he got there, but he was asking my friends where I was... They came and got me pronto. We ended up going out to breakfast at 2 in the morning with a friend of mine. We took Blondie home and I went home. He called the next day 3 times... I was totally stoked. We met up that night again. I ended up going to an after party and had a blast with him. I went back to his place and stayed the night. I behaved myself... he was very sweet about it... Don't get me wrong we did fool around and have a little fun, but I couldn't go all the way because I was surfing the crimson tide. Not good. He was still cool with everything. The next morning or should I say afternoon...heh heh He was still sweet... we were flirty and content with each other. When he dropped me off at my house I gave him 3 kisses goodbye and he said he would talk to me later... that was yesterday and I haven't heard anything. I know I'm thinking way too much on this one...
PLEASE HELP... AM I READING WAY TOO MUCH INTO THINGS????
I THINK I MIGHT REALLY LIKE THIS GUY.... UGH. :confused:

that's a tough call. hopefully, he wasn't expecting you to go all the way that night. if so, he may be a lame duck/excuse for a man. possibly just wanted to get into your pants. maybe you could give him a call. women are allowed to call guys nowadays. good luck, i hope it turns out swell.

If you're really interested, call him.

Otherwise you will drive yourself crazy waiting.

I agree with Onesnowyowl and Radioguy, you should give him a call. Not only will you stop driving yourself crazy wondering what's going on, but it will also let him know that you are interested in him.

Hope he's the nice guy you've been looking for.

Going with the flow of this thread; maybe he's testing to see how interested you are? He called you three times on Saturday (?), maybe he figures its time for you to show him that you’re starting to feel similarly interested.

Again Radioguy could be right that he was just looking to get some, still he wouldn't have been nice to you the next day or even spent the night (I assume that was what you were saying) if he didn't plan to at least do something more with you.

It's only been a day... give it time...

and you've got his number... pick up the phone and call him learn from your past mistake and use the number you've been given.

Now, in this post and your last post, there's a pattern that seems to be emerging. You seem to be a little desperate for a guy. Desperation is like fear... it can be smelled. There are some less ethical guys out there that will tell you what you want to hear, and give you the temporary attention that you crave, only to get what they want.

This is my take as well. You seem to be trying WAY too hard , and I will let you in on a little secret. A Man will note the needy girl, and usually leave the situation alone, as experience has shown the headache involved. A Boy will jump on the chance to get laid.
You have been attracting Boys....Bars are full of 'em.

He sounds like he is out for one thing. I could be wrong, but I wouldn't let your guard down.

oh honeypot.. i lamented when i saw the topic with your name next to it...

ok let me teach you a thing or two about these guys..

mistake numero uno.. he put his arm around you at first instant..personally i dont think thats cute..you may think so, but i think its creepy. you only think its sweet or cute or whatever cos u dig him.

2) i agree that i think ure trying too hard.. he notices it and thinks your fair game. he got what he wanted..im sure other women have approached him in similar ways, if he's that easy with you, hes probably the same with others..so be aware

3) i have a friend who used to be just like this fella. in the end he found the girl of his dreams and got hitched..i never thought id see the day, so i guess there is a light at the end of the tunnel. but he went through id say 10-15 dozen (maybe more) women. and that was up to the tender age of 25... moral of the story....maybe hes the real mccoy..give him a call and find out..just let us know how you go..

you never know..just make the call... but my instincts says he's a player

I really don't think he'd call 3 times a day if he were a "player". I wouldn't read too much into him not calling for one day, he sounds like a nice guy to me. Nothing abnormal is going on. Maybe if he didn't call for a week it would be a little worrisome, but a single day is nothing to sweat about.

So I called him.... I know too soon, but I had to do it to get it off my mind. I was very casual. Just said 'hey its kelley, just wanted to see whats up and was going to ask if you wanted to go grab a beer or something sometime this week. gimme a call ***-**** talk to you later.' I finally called. I had to grow some balls literally. I hate calling guys. Yuck. I don't think I'm desperate, I think I'm just too damn picky. I would consider myself very picky. I don't even call guys... I just meet and greet and then say goodbye, usually. I can't believe I called him, I think I made a mistake?

Now you know how guys feel :) You did the hard part, congratulations. Now relax and calm down. Either he calls back or he doesn't. Nothing else to do.

After reading your posts of the last couple months I think you are trying too hard and worry too much. It may be that you come off too needy or insecure to these guys so they move on. I may be off the mark but I think you need to relax and don't worry so much about finding a man.

Just a piece of advice:

STOP
WORRYING
SO
MUCH.


1) It can NEVER be a mistake to call someone you like. If they like you, they won't care that you called "early."

2) Stop saying "I don't call guys." That's just a cop-out. If you still think the guy should always call, then don't expect to be paid the same, and definitely don't expect to vote. Rules about which gender is supposed to do what are out. Get the idea out of your head.

3) You may not think you're desperate, but everything you've said on these boards has told us that you're desperate. It shows in your words and actions. Everybody but you thinks you're desperate. Even if you think you're not, that doesn't matter. The boys you're trying to bed think you are, so they'll treat you accordingly.

4) RELAX. Breathe. I understand dating can be nerve-racking, but that's the nature of the game. This is a corollary to point number 3. If you don't relax, if you don't stop worrying so much about every action, about "how soon should I call?" about "what does it mean when he touches me with his left foot instead of his right?" you'll never get anywhere.

5) Stop trying to read "signals." Try using words. They work wonders. Seriously, if you can't talk to someone, good luck having a relationship.

Ok let me give you the guys side of it so you might understand why you should call him again...
i can tell you that's exactly what I would be thinking if I were him.

Yeah, what he said.

Key word, relax. Just give it a few days. There's always another bar with with guys from Oregan who'll hit on you, take you back to their place and leave you wondering if they're nice guys the next day. :)

just a thought.perhaps he is waiting around for you to finish "surfing the crimson tide."

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT QUOTE? IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE HIM!!! HAHA :thumbsup: So I did call him.... So maybe I'm actually acting desperate.... It isn't my intention.... seriously.

It's how I think....seemed like a pretty typical luine of thought for a guy like me so I figured it was a valid thory and perhaps ya needed some insight into what he may be thinking.

he sounds pretty decent to me...lucky you...this reminds of when my SO and I got together...I hope it works out for you. Don't fret, there is no such thing as the wrong thig to do. Just do what you feel but keep your eyes open.

well did he call back or what? Im dying of curiosity

Thats a hell no, over and out. Figures. O well. I guess it wasn't right. Which sucks, but then again I'm done with the whole 'dating' scene. Who ever said 'its when you're not looking, you find someone', is a liar. Thats what I did last weekend and look what happened. I think I just have crappy karma. I'm just done with that whole scene. Its not only frustrating, but also embarassing to see how other people see me. I'm not a desperate person. I'm actually quite independent, like I've said before. How embarassing... I didn't think I was that bad. Ugh.

Was he married or a player, or what?

Um....one weekend is not exactly what is meant by ..."Not Looking". It is a mindset....not a timeframe.Though it sounds like you are getting the mindset anyway....thru frustration.

why is it that honey pots woes are always the most intruiging.... im dying out of curiosity too

O MY GOSH!!!!! HE JUST CALLED ME!!!!! YESS...... I'M SO EXCITED. I KNOW ITS DUMB TO EXCITED ABOUT SUCH A LITTLE THING, BUT ITS JUST THE IDEA. I NEVER CALL GUYS AND I DIDN'T THINK HE WOULD CALL BACK.... AND.... AND .... HE DID. THOUGH HE DID SAY HE HAD TO WORK THE NEXT 4 DAYS STRAIGHT.... HE SAID HE WOULD CALL ME NEXT WEEK. I HOPE HE DOES... BUT THEN AGAIN IF HE DOESN'T, THATS OKAY TOO! :)

hey now....I'd stopped looking for only 3 days when I met Dave :lol:

glad he called you!!!

ure trying not to sound so excited..but i think u forgot ure caps lock on :P
im glad he called you though... im still holding my breath on this guy honeypot. hope he lives up to ure expectations..

its hard when u work and TFP at the same time :crazy:

Dlishsguy, was that first line in English? Please fix your post.

HEY DISHGUY- I really like your posts... you are always so positive. I really enjoy reading them! Keep it up Sweetie!

way to go honeypot, but don't just wait around for this dude to call you next week. i know you have interest in him, but still go out and have a good time. i'm not saying go out and find someone or "hit on" guys, just have a fun weekend! good luck.

I'm sorta like honeypot in the way I handle situations like this..since I've been single I've met a few girls and get the number and somehow I get the courage to call and we talk and whatever but I get ..I don't know the word ..maybe anxious if I don't hear back like asap.

I don't hear back for a few days and I'm like oh well..forget it, they don't like me..what was I thinking...and then someone will call and then I'll be really happy..it can be tough..

In other words I think I know how you feel..Good Luck Honeypot! Hope everything works out good for you.

Oh yeah definatly call if you are interested! I don't know if its just me..but when I meet someone new I wont call often..in fact if I call once and they don't return the call I probably wont call again..I know most normal guys cant be like that though?

This might be the wrong time for me to say this, but I agree with this statement. I have friends who are very physical with girls when they first meet them. Those guys get layed a lot, in other words they are players.

hahaha honeypot you crack me up... just for your info....it's not DISHGUY..it's dlishsguy.. as in 'delicious'-guy.. and dont ask me why thats my nick..goes back a few years now..long story....

anyways... i agree with radio guy....go out have fun... for all you know he could be doing the same too.

just a point i'd like to make though... he said he's busy with work for 4 days or something.. how many hours does this guy work? and when he gets home, does he just slump over and go to bed? cos im sure most normal guys go home and have time to call someone they are interested in...

unless he works in a coal mine or something, he's got no excuse not to call you if he's in the least legitimately interested in you.

just my fleeting thoughts for now...

i must say that i do admire your ability to trust guys..and you ability to wear your feelings on your cuff... but take my word..once bitte twice shy. find the right guy and then give all you have to this one special person.

i do understand how you feel that it gets a little tedious after a while, and you give up looking after some anti-climaxes..but never lose hope...cos usually thats when he's round the corner.

I'm not sure about most guys, but I'm not a guy that calls often. Procrastination, ADD, laziness, busy, etc. Even though the person i'm calling is important to me sometimes days can go by without me picking up the phone. I'm just on the opposite side of the scale from you honeypot (maybe you too dlishguy) while you may be wondering if the relationship's over because it's been a few days since a guy called, I'd be totally oblivious.

I'm not saying that's the situation here, but just a reminder that people's perspectives on the same situations can vary widely. :) My suggestion to you isn't to change yourself- You are who you are, and you should embrace that- but rather to keep an open mind so that things stay in perspective.

About the not calling for a few days. That's how I am if I'm working. Some jobs have one working from waking up till falling asleep. That's just how they are.

I thought situations like that only happen in movies....

I'd go with bubonico on this - it's quite odd for him to get that physical so early. A bad sign IMHO, although I hope you've been lucky and there has been a special (not just physical) connection. I really do.

For myself, I've never let it go that far with a girl who's approached me at bar or party. Especially if she has been drinking.

My view in the past was that you need to get to know somebody in the light of day before you make a decision. And vice versa - they need to properly meet you.

meh, everyone is different. A girl who I went home with the first night and a girl that didn't go all the way till the 1st month, all the same. didn't and don't judge...

The Truth Comes Out
 

So I guess this could be the conclusion to another one of my soap opera dramas... ugh.
Saw Blondie last night. Talked to him for a few minutes. Said he was meeting some friends from work. Turned out to be a chick. I was cool, whatever... I'm not dating the guy so who gives, right?
Then my friends and I migrate to 'our' next bar... Hes there with his friend.
I'm totally cool having a good time. Dancing and talking with other guys.
He smiles at me whenever I look over at him. I walk up to him later that night and it takes everything in me not to lay a big ol smacker on him... crap. So he jokingly liks my lips really fast, like he did when I first met him.
So I see him when the bar is about to close down. I said we need to chat, just me and you. He agrees. We go outside, start making out and then start to talk about whats going on. He says he doesnt want a relationship. I wasn't looking for that either. I was looking for more of a friend than anyting. He says 'I just got out of a relationship in May and she cheated on me.' WHY AM I THE ONE WHO ALWAYS FINDS THESE TYPE OF GUYS!!! I agree, I'm very sympathtic because I know what its like, been there and done that. So I give him a kiss good night after our long heart to heart and the nights over....
I climb into bed, can't wait to sleep. I'm reading Cosmo, low and behold guess whos calling me at 2 in the a.m.? Blondie. I answer, hes going to come get me in a few minutes he tells me, so we can hang out/have sex... haha whatever. Anyway, I wait..... and wait........ and wait...... So 2:35am rolls around.... THATS IT I'M DONE WITH THE BULLSHIT!!!
So hes history.... LIKE ALWAYS, ANOTHER BITES THE DUST!!! THANKS GUYS FOR THE ADVICE. IT DID HELP A TON IN MY LATEST ESCAPADE! :crazy: