Did I 'Blow' it?
 

Okay so heres the deal. I met an extremely intelligent/gentlemen kind of guy this weekend. Unfortunately it was at a bar. We actually first met last weekend, but I didn't think he would remember since he was kind of intoxicated. He was out with his cousin last weekend, after a family get together. Anyway, I saw him this weekend and I was walking by and said hello. I really didn't think he would remember me. I ended up chatting it up with him, he bought me a drink. It was quite fun. Then I ended up going to another bar, without him, with some other friends of mine. He showed up there about 20 minutes later. I did tell him I was going there before I left the place where he was at.
ANYWAYS, we ended up hooking up and having a great time. It was his birthday, so he was having a grand ol time! haha I ended up taking him home and well we kind of fooled around... Not sex, just play, ya know?
Then he asked me if I WANTED HIS NUMBER? Whats that all about? I gave him my phone number and haven't heard from him since.
Whats the deal, should I have taken his number? Or am I thinking too much about the whole situation? Its been a couple of days and he hasn't called. I don't think he will. I really wish he would because he does seem genuinely nice.... HMMMMM HEEEELLLLLPPPP MEEEEE!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR TO THINK????!!!! :crazy:

If he gave you his number, call him. Else, consider it a loss ?

so you aren't calling him because why? oh because you didn't take his number. that was dumb...

I'd say it's possible that if you didn't take his number he may think you're not interested. It's not impossible that he'll call back but it's not exactly likely just now either. Expect the worst and hope for the best; if he doesn't call, write it off and take the next guy's number if he offers it.

The thing is that I don't take guys numbers. He offered his number first. I have this huge problem with calling guys. I don't think a girl should have to call or to say the least make the first move. If a guy really likes a girl, he will get in touch with her. Thats what I'm hoping for. Or if I see him this weekend, hopefully things will change. I messed up, I think. I don't know.

I don't see why girls can't make the call. If a girl really likes a guy, why can't she call him?

You didn't, look what happened.

Not to sound harsh or anything, but it's the truth

Honeypot you have to get over the idea that you shouldn't call. I can't be sure, but I suspect that by offering his number, he was giving you the oppurtunity to make the next move (an unusual move in our macho society). I don't think there was more behind it than that.

hmmmmm... well, live and learn ;)

The only reason i'm married to my amazing husband is because i Called him first :) And persued him... he's the quieter type and a gentle sweetheart... and typically, those are the guys who are a little more shy and require a little chasing ;)

The guys who are worth it... will require a little gumption and a phone call ;)

If you see him again, march right up to him and ASK him for his phone number :)

Sweetpea

You went home with him and didn't give him the sex. He figured you weren't interested after he showed interest. He offered you his number so you'd call if you were interested. You refused. You didn't want sex and you didn't want his number, so why would he believe you're actually interested? He's not going to call you.

Or, he's in another relationship already and just wanted some strange this weekend. He's still not going to call because you've already demonstrated that you won't put out. He'll move on.

Or, he's one of those guys who thinks he has to wait a few days to call you for whatever reason.

Those are the three scenarios that come to my mind. My opinion is the first, possibly the third, probably not the second. Good luck. :)

lol uncle pony those were exactly the reasons I was thinking.

This happened to me actually, before I realized how it all works. Still was insecure and didn't know that girls will "save themselves" for later when they meet a guy they want to date as not to seem "slutty". Absolutely ridiculous and twisted in my opinion, but I guess that's just the way the world spins.

Thought process in my head went sorta like this:

Met a really great girl at school, while studying for a test. Saw her again at a bar that weekend, and hit it off with her. Spent a lot of time together, and there was chemistry between us. She invited me back to her house- there's only one reason for that. Except we only played around... what's wrong with me? She just wanted to fool around, then send me on my way. I guess i'm not the kind of guy she really wants, and i'd rather not have the akward "friends" speech on the phone. *crumple number, throw in trash*

Anyways maybe this crummy story might give ya some insight. :) Or not, it's pretty difficult to get the jist of a situation from a message on a forum.

It's sunday night/monday morning, and you said this happened "this weekend"? So you've waited a day? Two? Have some patience. lol

so, in response to uncle pony and skier...do girls have to "put out" to let the guy know she's interested?...I DONT THINK SO!!!i believe some guys are really and truely 'NOT LIKE THAT" for my sake i hope, because for some strange reason, i believe in the male species.all they need is some guidance.so honey pot, if you do happen to see him this weekend, i hope you ask him why it is he didnt call you, and if he is as decent as you say he is, well then, he is bound to tell you.

also...next time...take the number:-)

i do have to question whats up with throwing away the number just cause you didnt get any. But this is not the focus of this thread, I was just surprised by that idea.

But it shows what some guys can be like I guess. But then it also shows that if he doesn't call, then maybe he was expecting too much and if he was pissed enough not to call just because he didn't get lucky then hes not worth it. But I think he'll call. the whole wait 3 days BS I never understood and I just do what I fell like, but he might follow the 3 day rule, so just hold out

Towards the end of my "Dating" days....I didnt call women first anymore, mostly because I found through experience it wasnt productive in the long run. I would give out My number to those I actually wanted to see again and see if they called. I suppose it was a way to check interest , and at the same time see if she had it in her to be proactive (a trait I required). It worked....and I found I wasted much less energy on pointless sex, in favor of actual relationships. Good Luck.

Beat me to it.
Of course...I was in bed when this response was written. ;)

Seriously...give it a little while. See what happens.
However, I'm going to add my voice to those chiming in about not being bashfull over calling the guy. Were it me...I'd have been extremely flattered. Plus, I'm a little on the shy side...so...

understand then you are in the position you are in now because of your" I don't take guys numbers" issue.

so when you are with coworkers and a male coworker offers you a ride to work or to an activitiy you don't take his number when offered? or do you be a hypocrite and say "yes of course I do."?

get over it.. it's the 21st century not the victorian era where women had to wait for gentlemen callers to come to the door.

You said you fooled around, how far did you go? Did you tease him?

Well, I'd have to ask if you got the feeling that he was really into you, and/or if you think he may have gotten the impression that you were more into him than you?

***********************************************************

Communication breakdown,
It’s always the same,
I’m having a nervous breakdown,
Drive me insane!

edit ps. Is there a reason that the "blow" in your thread title is in quotations, because it strikes me that you might have been in a better "position" to tell us that ;)

The problem that I see here is not that she didn't "put out", but that she led him to believe that she would. If she really didn't want to engage in sexual activity with him so early in the relationship she would not have taken him back to her house with considerable sexual tension between them after spending time together at the bar.

What I find annoying is that she's attempting to control the speed of the relationships she wants by placing boundaries on subjective sexual liberties of which the other partner has no foreknowledge. She's using the sexual power she has in an attempt to control the other partner. I think Honeypot has to make a conscious decision to set physical and mental boundaries that are clear to both herself and the guys she meets, as soon as she meets them. If she doesn't want to have sex with a guy she just met, she shouldn't take them to her house and tease them for a few hours. If the guy in question doesn't want to see her again if he's not getting sex immediately; he's not the right guy for her.

Well, I have given my number to a number of ladies and my only 2 long term relationships, including my present SO, were the only 2 that called me back.

I am confident, secure but don't feel like the "player", society expects me to play. Flirt, tease, hit on some woman and try to get a number. After a few fake numbers and women who gave a number just for fun but were already in a relationship, I decided to give my number first. Now, if I like someone, I give them my number and if they call, WOW, a huge first step has already been hurdled. I now know they liked me enough to call, AND they are confident in themselves to call, which is a huge turn-on.

Next time this happens, as your obviously not going to do it this time, if you like the guy and you get his number, take a chance, let your confidence flow and give him a call. You might be pleasantly surprised.

In which case, this stratagem may have successfully weeded out a bad prospect. If you really value a man who assigns himself the responsbility to initiate communication, you didn't want to be with this gentleman, even if he did fufill other criteria you may have for a partner.

Or, you might realize that who calls first is a bit of a game, and that it's unimportant in comparison with said other criteria for selection of a partner. Up to you...

He's probably playing the wait a few days game cause that's what his internet friends told him to do. Chances are if you fooled around but he didn't get into your pants he will call you back to try to close the deal.

Not all the time. Not even most of the time. But, if you take a guy home from a bar and fool around with him he's expecting to get laid. It's really that simple.

and if she doesnt put out... then you never call her again?


Fascinating...

Not if all the guy wanted was to get laid and move on. While I disagree with HoneyPot's modus operandi (which is old-fashioned), she might just have avoided an undesired one-night-stand. If the guy only wanted some tail and didn't get it, why would he waste further time? The thrill of the hunt? That's overrated, folks.

Of course, he MIGHT have thought that he didn't completely grasp HoneyPot's goal in taking him home with her. They had a good time, they fooled around, and that's it. No sex.

/me opens window into guy's potential train of thought/

"What gives? Does she want to take her time? Is she really interested in me on a more than physical level? How could I find out if she's REALLY interested, without directly asking her, because I'm shy/stupid/not experienced enough? I know! I'll offer her my number, and if she accepts it and calls, then I'll know she really wants to get to know me. What's this? She refused my number, but gave me hers? Why? Well, she must trust me to some extent, since she's leaving herself vulnerable to trouble if I turn out to be a psycho-obsessive-compulsive that would constantly call her up until she changed her number. However, now I have to take the first step ALL OVER AGAIN, after I CLEARLY SHOWED INTEREST BY GOING TO THE BAR SHE WENT TO AFTER SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS GOING TO BE THERE and then TAKING HER HOME WHEN SHE OFFERED and FOOLING AROUND WITH HER. She must really not like taking any kind of initiative, which is weird after the good time we had. Gee! This is complicated! Maybe I'm better off with someone who's more pro-active."

/window closes/

Next time, HoneyPot, have some more courage.

i agree the guy should call the girl..if he isnt decisive and confident enough to be the one to call me, i am not interested in a guy who will wait for me to call him.......

Oh, but if one got under your skin I bet it would drive you nuts...

I kind of like a little give and take. I'll call if I get to it first / have something to do...but I don't see why that should prevent the fila from calling me...then again, I like a give and take relationship as well, so it's nice if it's built in from the start. For me it's fairly situational.

So I screwed up I'm being told.... What do I do now? Do I ask him why he didn't call or do I just flat out ask him his number, because for some odd reason, I really would like to see this guy again. I don't really met 'good' guys in the bar, but hes a sweetheart and I think he thinks I'm not interested.... HELP ME!!!

next time you see him... ask him for his number...

exactly - ask for his number... if you see something you want - you have to go after it - it's not always going to come to you...

Correct. :)

Let's see. She met up with him after not having seen him, bar hopped, then took him home. Nobody says she has to put out, but that's sending some serious mixed signals. There's nothing wrong with it, but it certainly is confusing, and even more so when drunk. Perhaps our "species" wouldn't "need" your "guidance" if your half of the human race didn't seem so intent on fucking with our heads during every waking hour of your lives.

Also, you need to stop hodling onto archaic traditions and let him know you're interested. He's probably assuming you're not interested after a drunken, confusing blur of a night.

That makes sense, but he offered her HIS number, and she turned it down. That definitely signals that she's not interested. Also, if we're the only ones doing the calling, we feel like you're not interested either. If you're interested in a guy, call him!

If I were to have a "fun night" with someone as you so described and at the end of that night my female company expressed her disinterest in receiving my phone number, I would most likely take it as a signal that she was not interested in pursuing things past the events that had recently transpired.

Why would a guy give out a phone number instead of asking for yours? I can't speak for all males, but personally:
1. To see if you're interested enough to take it. If you're interested enough to take it and give yours in return, that says a bit to me. If I give my number to you, the ball is in your court. If you give me yours, the ball is in my court. If we exchange numbers, we're on equal ground and if neither of us end up calling, we're both "at fault."
2. I lose things. I'm a guy, and at the end of the day, my wallet is filled with notes, receipts, and random items of questionable origin. These are sorted out, and occasionally things get thrown away that shouldn't be, such as a phone number. If I've got yours and you've got mine, the chances of one of us getting a call from the other are a lot higher than if only one of us has a number.
3. I don't play games, and I don't put up with games. If I'm interested, I'll call. I will also assume that if you are interested, you will call as well. None of that "you've got to wait for x amount of days, you've got to wait for him/her to call first" bullshit. If I offer my number and you don't want it, but offer me yours instead, I'd be inclined to believe that you are the type to play games and "test" me to see if I call in the right time period, and frankly that sort of thing irritates the holy hell out of me.

So now what? It's been said multiple times, but the next time you see him, ask for his number.

exactly my point.sure i agree that she shouldnt have led him on the way you guys say but

im with mal on this one...Facinating...

it's not a matter of "fucking" with your heads, its a matter of trying to make you understand what we need. we dont want to control you.on the contrary we want to work together...or at least thats how i feel.

im saying you guys are right to tell her that she shouldnt have led him on especially when they were drunk coz of the confusion it caused and she should have know better but also, its not right for her to be treated the way she was just because she didnt wnat to "Put Out"

Haven't you been listening?

The guy is not specifically AVOIDING her because she didn't put out. What every single guy who has posted in this thread seems to understand, and what most of the women who've posted seem not to understand, is this:

The signals HoneyPot were giving led him to believe he was getting sex. She may not have meant that, but that's what happened. When he got there, and he didn't get any, he felt a little let down. When he then OFFERED his number to her, and she REFUSED it, he felt downright rejected.

HE STILL LIKED HER. HE WAS GIVING HER A CHANCE TO SHOW HIM THE SAME THING. HE ISN'T AVOIDING HER BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T "PUT OUT." HE FEELS REJECTED, AND HE THINKS THAT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE HIM. GOD.

We have emotions, too, contrary to popular female belief.

What Moose said.

Right now, he won't call you, because all the signs are that you don't want to hear from him again, and he has better things to do with his time than be rejected.

So, next time you see him, you have to somehow make a joke out of not getting his number. Get his number, immediately walk out of the bar (or at least out of his sight), and call him to ask for a date.

Well, on the other hand bringing some dude home from the bar isn't exactly straight up rejection. I'm assuming they were swapping slobber and etc...if I were in that situation, I'd think the chick either got cold feet, or had some hangups about throwing down on the first night we met after getting drunk...even if it had the bad timing of being on my birthday, when every guy would like a chick to be so overwhelmed by his awesomeness that they were begging to get naked with him. I agree he probably felt a little rejected, but I wouldn't be surprised if he called back. Depends on what the rest of his sex life is like.

Now if this was a person that you've known for ages, you felt like you were soulmates, and suddenly disapeared and hasn't called in a while, then I'd see a cause for concern.

But it was some random stranger, from a bar, for one night. :)

He could be under the impresion that this was a one-night-stand, or not. Just move on. I fell that if a person continues to worry about something/someone, then you may miss opportunities that may come the days ahead.

It was exremely trusting to take some 'strange' guy home in the first place, and I tend to agree with the guys here that say you sent mixed signals, but not necessarily that he wouldn't call at all because you didn't put out, even if, personally, that would have been my first reaction.
If you should see him again and still haven't gotten the call, it'd be your best best, as stated, to just go up to him and admit, 'Hey, I'm sorry, I fucked up and would like to take your phone number. Can we start over?' You have nothing to lose, a bit to gain and a lesson learned. (I'd also be a bit more cautious next time about this 'taking back to my house and fooling around'. No one likes to be teased-if the situation were reversed, you would have wondered WTF, I'm sure.)

I want a girl to honestly tell me that if you're out drinking with a guy and having a jolly old time.. and you go home with him.. that you're not expecting SOMETHING?

There's way too much emphasis on how the sexes are "so different." No.. in reality we're the same.. there are girls who want one night stands, there are guys who want one night stands. There are girls who think the guy should call first, there are guys who think girls should call first. There are guys who think going home with a girl means boinking, and there are girls who think going home with a guy means boinking.

How would YOU react, if you were in HIS shoes? It'll offer more insight than trying to guess his motivations..

If I really liked a girl and offered my number and she refused it, I wouldn't call her. Guys consistantly have to make the first move, therefore they consistantly get rejected. It's not easy. Kind of makes you feel like crap. Doesn't matter if swapping spit happended before or not, both guys and girls often send mixed signals. It's not hard to write down a phone number. If you didn't take it, it's a sure sign to him that you don't expect to keep in touch.

Yes you blew it.....

Next time take the number.

This is all very fascinating, reading how yall know exactly why some guy didn't call a girl back.

Maybe he just lost her number...?

If you like someone, and want to be more intimate with them, and they offer increased intimacy at a measured and acceptable pace, you accept it and reciprocate in kind. Everything else is just dross.

I had a long speal. But really, that's it.

Yes, and don't bother asking him why he didn't call, because it really doesn't matter. If he offers an explanation, fine... but don't ask. If you were to bring up your last meeting with him, it would be a good thing to limit it to - "I really had a good time the other night, and I wish I had taken your number." ... and let it go at that.

Good luck on round #2 if you see him again....and DON'T FORGET TO GET HIS NUMBER ! :)


Oh, and one more thing. If you see him again, and get his number...that could be considered date #2. Then if you call him, and end up seeing him a third time... I see a green light for sex!

Sure I know what you mean 777, but this guy is awesome. I mean just down to earth. I'm so picky and I forgot how to get a freakin' date. When I was offered, I screwed it up. I don't know what to do. I think I'm just going to ask for his number next time I see him. Just play casual, ya know? Is that dumb of me to do?

Nope. Go for it! :thumbsup:

Yes. Ask for that number.

Not kissing on the first date=quaint
Not putting out after meeting at a bar=safe
Not asking for a phone number as a principle=?????

Do you mean a girl not asking for a phone number poppin? Hmm I guess I was just raised old school. I've been getting opinions at work and since he hasn't called yet, they say its his loss. But then again I work with a bunch of 40 year old women... Hmmm So is it the new 21st century thing to do.... For women to make the first move?

It's simple he felt rejected like every other guy here is saying. It's nothing special; it's nothing against you.

Simple miscommunication

We, guys have to deal with so many different women in different situations that if we get rejected, esp twice we already are wondering.

One more thing that hasn't really been talked about; this was his birthday. I don't know about other guys but if it’s your birthday and you’re in a bar that means you’re looking to have a really good time. So when he meets a lady who shows interest and then on top of that asks him back to her place...I don't care if you are a priest your first thought even if its only in the back of your mind is YES GREAT PRESENT FOR MY BIRTHDAY!

He's probably a great guy like your saying but his little head was talking that night plain and simple. No matter how nice of a guy, he felt a letdown. Is it enough of an excuse to not call you? No. Could of it been handled by both of you better? Of course.

You could have been more upfront about why you didn’t want to go all the way and he could of well, called you. Trust me on this fact, if you walk up and talk to him; you probably won’t even have to ask for his number, just show interest maybe say it’d be nice to get together sometime. He’ll call you, while we hate rejection guys or more then willing to call if we know you’ll say yes.

Honey, i'm a 40 year old women, and women have been making the first move since i was your age... Sadie hawkins set a precedent long ago.... If you wait for him to ask - you are gonna be waiting a long time... Women need to get over themselves pretty quickly and if there's something they want -- ask for it - it's not always going to come to you.

And let me point out the obivious -- he volunteered his number to you.., He made the first move - -you said no... you have to at least meet him half way and accept the number-- and give him yours in the process...

He's gonna call you this weekend, at the bar (probably the same one), after he's had a couple and ask you to meet him out saying something to the effect of "I had a great time last weekend, why don't you meet me out here again."

It's still only been two days. All that happened in one drunken night, which probably deserves another, but does't necessarily demand exploring the possibilities on a Monday or Tuesday.

I'd put money on it. He'll call this weekend.

reminds me of the movie SummerTime with Katherine Hepburn in Venice Italy... the whole movie is her wishing things were different without her making the first move but always wanting the other person to do it and then being very upset that the other person didn't.

If you went up to a cute boy you liked, built up the courage, and offered him your number, and he said "no, I do not want your number", how would you feel?

Everyone needs to read mal's wisdom right here; this applies to boys and girls, men and women alike. It's not just about relationships either.


.. can I get an AMEN.

The 50's called, they want their dating protocol back! You made out with him! That WAS the first move! You should have taken his number!

Now that I have grilled you :icare: , I will tell you what I would do...Go to the same bars this weekend at the same times. If he is there, he can't say you're stalking him because you came to the same bar last week. So, you are in the clear about being there. If you see him, wave and smile, but don't go over and talk to him. Make yourself available without initiating conversation.

WHATEVER YOU DO: do NOT mention that he hasn't called, just act cool and be friendly. Do not EVER mention that he didn't call. Do not EVER ask for his number, but if he offers it, take it.

P.S. Year 2000 dating protocol for men: Act like you don't care. Girls can't stand it when you don't chase them. They get all upset and start wondering what is wrong with them and why this guy doesn't call. "He acted like he liked me last weekend, why doesn't he act like he likes me now. Why hasn't he called?!?!" His 'inaction' does more work towards getting what he wants (you to throw yourself at him) than any 'action' he could possibly do. Your original post proves my point. You are so focused on this guy right now that there is NO WAY he isn't going to score the next time he sees you because you aren't going to risk him getting away again. At least, that is what he THINKS will become of it.

The fallacy of this protocol is that, ultimately, men still can't get past the desire to have sex. It will drive him to typical male behavior (calling, writing, flowers, dinner, etc) soon enough. Just be patient and don't act like YOU care so much that he didn't call. Women are always in the driver's seat in the dating scene as long as they keep their cool and recognize their value.

And so you'll meet another awesome guy :) If you meet some one special, that's cool. And if you find the stranger from last weekend and pick up where you two left off, that's cool too.

Just calling isn't really the first move. If you called, he would most likely ask you out during that conversation. It's no different than saying in person, "well, I had a really good time tonight!"

My wife made the first move, but passively. She made it clear that she was available. I think that still qualifies as old fashioned.

Maybe he is nervous at making the first call too. Hence the reason he offered you his phone number. :)

I think that until old HoneyPot runs into this bloke or find another Pooh, this thread has beaten to a bloody pulp.

UPDATE!!!!
 

So here goes.... last night I didn't see him... It was a little disappointing. Anyways, I saw his friend instead... I was talking to him a little and then asked about where, lets call him Mike, was. So he gave me his number to call him... I called him, but I think I screwed up again. I called him after I got home last night. Not good. I couldn't wait to talk to him!!! I think he thinks I was being a drunk dialer, but I really wasn't. Anyway, he was in another town at another bar. Too bad. I texted him today, just to clear up my 'drunk dialer' name.... DID I SCREW UP AGAIN? AM I LOOKING TOO DESPERATE? ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! :crazy:

It ain't over till I say it is!!!! :D

Why yes, yes you did. Please refer back to my original post. In my estimation, you did pretty much the exact opposite of everything you should have done.

1) No talking to his friends.
2) No asking his friends where he is.
3) No getting his phone number from his friends.
4) No calling him immediately after getting his number.
5) No text messaging him the next day to apologize for 1 - 4.

It would be easier for you to send him a text message right now saying "Don't ever talk to me again." That would have the same effect as what you did.

Imagine you meet a cool guy in a bar and you get his digits. You don't call him because it's been a busy week and you couldn't have seen him, even if you wanted to. You have a friend in from out of town who wants to go to this bar across town. So, you go with her to this other bar and are having a nice time. Then your girlfriend calls you up and says "Hey, you know that guy that you met last week. Yeah, he is at the same bar tonight and came up and asked me about you. He kept talking about you so I went ahead and gave him your digits. I hope you don't mind." An hour later, the guy calls you from outside a bar and says "Hey, what's up? Remember we met last week? Yeah, well I am at the same bar and was wondering if I was going to see you? How come you didn't call me this week? blah - blah - blah" The next morning, you are just waking up when you get a text message on your phone from the same guy apologizing for calling you the previous night and hoping you aren't mad and call him back when you get the chance.

Okay, so would you call that guy back? Neither would he. :(

hmmmm okay then

I apologize if my frankness offends you, that was not my intent. :(

Believe it or not, I would do you a disservice if I said it any other way. My choice of words was a calculated attempt to shock you so that a lesson will be learned and applied to future opportunities. Rather than focusing on the tone of the message, just try to take in the message itself.

If you are truly upset with me (rather than simply projecting your disappointment in your own actions upon me), I will make it a point to avoid giving you advice in future requests. I do wish you all the success in Love that we all deserve.

Good News!
 

Last night I went out for a bruskee with a friend of mine. It was a very relaxed and laid-back atmosphere. I totally got asked my phone number and guess what, I know you'll never believe this, but he asked if I wanted his. I said yes! Awesome, I'm so proud of myself. The moment was slow motion when he asked, but miraciously(spelling?), I said sure. Thanks everyone! :D

ok a few q's...

1) is this the same guy??

and

2) did he call?

oh riveting stuff waiting for the details...rubs hands

No this isn't the same guy... Dangit. No he didn't call. I really messed up on that one. I don't know how it will be the next time I will see him...

I am speaking from the position of a man and I think:
He is interested in you but does not know if you are interested in him. So he gave you his number so that you can show your interest. You said he was a gentleman, so he did not ask for your number. The reason is that this might be uncomfortable for you. To avoid putting you in a situation where you would have to give him a wrong number, or not answer the call, if you are not interested, he simply offered his number. And let the choice to you.