Seething

So tonight it happened....guy's worst nightmare.

A little background: I started seeing this girl from work about 3 weeks ago. Aside from the occasional seeing each other at work, we've only been on 3 dates. Well tonight, immediately after getting off work, I went to her house, we rented a movie, and watched it. The movie ends, she puts on some tv, and things progress from there. Now while making out, my boy is ready and willing. We go upstairs, he seems good to go, then it all goes to shit... He won't stay standing. He'll get up after some coaxing, but sit right back down before anything can get started. Whether it be because I was tired from work, because we progressed so quickly (I'm used to taking it slower with girlfriends), or because it's been months since I've had sex. But either way, motherfucker let me down...

Now I feel embarrassed as hell, and when I see her at work tomorrow I'm sure I'll be oozing shame.

So aside from using this thread to vent...Has this ever happened to you? How did it turn out for you?

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Common sense is uncommon. Ironic, isn't it?

Johnny Pyro

Was she understanding about the problem?
Did she get weirded out by it?

Sounds like performance anxiety. It will pass. You just have to get comfortable with her. If you can get erections and orgasm with no problem through maturbation, its all mental. Just relax and try to enjoy it.

Some girls will assume its them. Their not good enough and thats far from the truth. If she is understanding about it, you can work together.

I learned my lesson in banging girls I worked with. I try not to when I can. It does make it uncomfortable and akward. Good luck.

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"From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. - Sheriff John Wydell

DEI37

Yup, had it happen before. Her response? "Don't worry 'bout it. It's happened to a lot of guys, even my husband." About 20 minutes later, after kissing, and all that kind of stuff, I was good to go, and we got it on.

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Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

Aladdin Sane

I've had it happen four times in my life. Three times it was because of alcohol or pot.
1. A sexy-as-hell lesbian picked me as her once a year male sex partner. I was too drunk to function, and probably suffering from performance anxiety. I was mortified.
2. I ate some pot brownies and was extremely stoned. My girlfriend wanted it bad, but nothing was happinning. Too stoned to fuck.
3. New Years Eve, 1983 (about to be '84). A bunch of us were celebrating at a spa, in a private room with a hot tub. A girl who was a long time friend let me know she wanted to take it to the next level. I was way drunk, the room was way hot, and Mr. Happy was a little noodle with no intention of getting hard. Damn!
4. I flew to Austin for a reunion with an ex. Back at the hotel, she slipped into something more comfortable, and more revealing, and intended to rev my engine, but my motor wouldn't start. Embarrassed? Yes. Terribly. No alcohol or drugs involved. I was able to do the deed a few hours later. That's really too bad, actually, because she ended up pregnant.

So there's my four worst sexual nightmares. I suppose it happens to everyone at least once. If this girl is a good person, and I assume she is, she will be completely understanding.

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

MoonDog

When I was in dating mode, I almost ALWAYS had performance anxiety! Usually it was just an inability to get to orgasm, but on several occasions the best I could manage was a semi-hard state that was of no real use to anyone.

Don't sweat it, and if she seems uncomfortable, you may just want to mention that you are used to taking more time with a new girlfriend on the way to "home plate".

Seething

She was pretty understanding about it, thankfully. Even joking about it, saying in my wang's perspective, "You've ignored me for a while, then want me to use me all at once? It's not happening." Hopefully I can get past this and try again.

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Common sense is uncommon. Ironic, isn't it?

Bob Biter

It helps if you know that a part of your body (aside from your dick) is particularly responsive to stimuli. For me, it's my nipples; any attention there will get me hard instantly. Whenever I feel myself going soft, I just tell the girl to lick/play with them for a bit. Works every time. For other guys, it's earlobes, neck, etc. One of my friends even gets very turned on when a girl licks the inside of his elbow! Different strokes and all that...

As for the captain bailing on me, yeah it's happened before. Alcohol is the worst, since it slows down your bloodflow. As we all know, a lot of people get very frisky when on the sauce, so this can get frustrating. Therefore, I never try to have sex when I drink. Sure, I can make out and do some heavy petting, but if the girl wants to take it up a notch, I just tell her that I'd rather be sober, so that I can give her all the attention she deserves. Most girls have never been put off by that (in fact, they're flattered), and the rare one that does ain't worth your time anyway. Hell, if you still want to make her feel good and she wants it, then just go down on her or something, I don't think she'll mind that!

Bottom line is: girls usually understand. Whether it's psychological or purely mechanical, the trouble your having happens to pretty much every guy at least once. Just be honest about it (too drunk/high/tired/nervous) and play it cool.

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A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.

Jinn

.. try having it 9 outta 10 times with your beautiful girlfriend. We're talkin 15+ times now.. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. be glad its only once.

/in pain...

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vautrain

Once, I think it was some combination of fatigue, substances, and having been well-used many times in the previous 24 hours.

Redlemon

I don't think it is possible to keep it up in a hot tub. We bought a waterproof vibrator for that very reason.

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Mr_Tickles

just a quick point reallly -- don't feel bad - it happens to everybody.

If however it keeps on happening, you may need to do some reasurring for her too. In my experience women can get a bit paranoid if you can't get/maintain wood, or cum.

I think she's reacted the right way though... joking about it a little will help break the tension. I don't know how much you want to talk about it with her, I suggest you discuss why you feel (if you feel) pressure or tension.

Good luck.

MrT

this_is_vince

maybe you were tired.

kangaeru

It happened to me once, probably because I pulled a Something About Mary and unloaded the gun before I went out for the night.

Bad, Bad idea. The less you jerk off, the easier it is to get sir willy up when it matters.

My story has a happy ending though...that was the first time that ever happened to me, and I was embarassed as hell. So I got some Viagra from one of my friends.

Went two rounds, and was till poking the chick in her back the entire night.

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Coppertop

Speak for yourself there, buddy. Hot tubs have never proven to be insurmountable for me. Now, weed, on the other hand...

Diff'rent strokes, indeed.

Willravel

Just don't pop those pills. Speaking as someone who knew the '24-hour-hard-on-guy' (my buddy took ONE and he was ready to go long after he passed out), it's an unnecessary risk. Kangaeru, you're lucky.

Seething

If all goes well, I should get another chance tomorrow night. I've already put a hold on masturbating and I'll definitely try relaxing a bit more. Thanks for the advice, guys.

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Common sense is uncommon. Ironic, isn't it?

Redlemon

I also have pretty low blood pressure; I'm thinking that, at least for me, heat = blood vessel dilation = less pressure = soft dick.

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hossified

well its sounds mental....but now you have even MORE pressure on you for the next time! She may have to roll her sleeves up and help out a little more.....maybe a little oral, or whatever turns your crank.....sounds like your best bet may be to have a couple drinks to take the nervousness off!

World's King

I'm pretty much always hard.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

denim

What are you, young or sumthin'??

MSD

When you do get it up tonight, you need to do your best imitation of Anakin during the Episode 1 pod race, "It's working ... It's wooorrrrkiiiinnnnng!!!

Coppertop

Thus ensuring her departure from his life forever.

kangaeru

yeah get drunk, thats also a VERY good suggestion.

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Dont be afraid to change who you are for what you could become

eMOTIONal20

Not TOO drunk though... then it might be even more of a disaster.


Ummm my only suggestion is to do it when you're not really tired.

<--- knows from experience. Tiredness sucks... on both ends.

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