calvin88

So my gf and I were talking the other night. And she decided to ask me to post this question since we were both wondering. I've had sex with only her but shes had me and her ex. So the question was how do I know whether or not shes is really good? While I do believe that she is good because well, it feels good haha the question is if she wasn't would I know the difference seeing how I don't really have someone to compare it to? She says im good compared to her ex, but that is because she has someone to compare to so im just wondering how I would know since I have nobody to compare to?
Thanks

la petite moi

Do you feel pleasure? Do you get off everytime (or nearly everytime) she puts effort into it?

If so, yes, she's good. If not, she may need help understanding what you like. Just give advice.

curious george

OMFG! You didn't say that to her, did you? Balls of steel man....
She is possibly being nice to you here... possibly truthful too. Bask in the compliment.
Sounds like you have a nice girl there... don't ruin it by finding that one out

maleficent

What is good, and who sets the standard for being good? If you enjoy sex with her and it makes you feel good, then you've got the answer to your question.

Everyone has a slightly different style when it comes to sex, and everyone has a different body, so someone else might do something different making it feel different, not better or worse that you current girlfriend, it's still good, if you enjoy what's being done.

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Anxst

Whether or not she's good isn't about a comparison in any way. It's all about whether or not you enjoy what she's doing.

As long as you're having a good time with her, enjoy it!

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Pragma

I think I heard it described something along the lines of "It's like eating icecream - even if it's sloppy or not as good, you're still eating icecream - and that's always good." Your girlfriend may not be the world's greatest lover, but if you're enjoying it then that's all that really matters, right?

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Lasereth

I don't think Calvin88 is debating whether his SO is good at sex or how good she is period. His question is more directed at how having sex with another person feels. I've had sex with one girl (my current GF). It feels really good, but it doesn't stop me from wondering what it's like to have sex with someone else. Does sex always feel like this? Is this what sex is supposed to feel like? These questions are simple thoughts about having a single partner in your life. I can't help him because I'm in love with my GF with a very good chance that we're getting married in a few years.

-Lasereth

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maleficent

Good clarification, Lasereth, however, the answer i think for most people would probably still hold... What difference does it make how good or not a person is if you are enjoying what you are getting from them...

There's no set of rules as to what sex is supposed to feel like, every man I have been with has been different, some good, some not so good, some in-fucking-credible, I'm sure each of them woudl describe me in the same way... Sex is what you make it, and how good a lover a person is -- is up to them and their partner, as long as they are having fun, enjoying each other that's all that matters.

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Powderedmaggot

You'll only know if she's good if you try a few others. Then you may find out she was fabulous but it will be too late to go back. If it feels good and you really dig it, it's good.

Zegel

My Wife has brought this up a few times in the past, saying that she's worried about me only having been with her, and what if some day I decide that my lack of experience with others is something that bothers me?

I've tried to reassure her and she hasnt asked me in a long time, so maybe she's taken it to heart. Who knows... all I know is that she is amazing and satisfies me completely, so I've never had that desire. For me, the biggest reason behind not having that desire is the intense emotions that we feel for eachother. I dont think I could come anywhere close to those kinds of feelings with another woman, so the feeling would be purely physical and that would be extremely dull.

Sex isnt supposed to feel a "certain way", really. I imagine it feels different depending on the person. My Wife and I once joked about the "Does size matter?" thing. Myself, I'm almost exactly at "average", but she has experienced a guy that was much, much larger than average. The sex? Horrible - it didnt matter how big it was when he was done in thirty seconds. So, if the situation was flipped around, what if my Wife had only ever experienced me, not knowing what an above-average man felt like? What if it got to the point where she just *had* to go experience it, and hooked up with that dude. Kind of a waste eh?

The only question you need to ask yourself is if it feels good. Even if there's a problem there, it can probably be corrected if you both work on it together. If there isnt a problem, then you need to assure your woman that she's outstanding, cause it sounds like she's worried!

Daknjak

I have had this experience as well. I have been with only one other person, and she is my wife. I don't regret not "sowing my wild oats" because with her things are perfect. I was her first, she was mine, it works, and it is great. I know that it was stated that your girlfriend has been with 1 other, so I can see you feeling like you missed out. I go with the theory that things are what they are, and just be happy with it. If you go looking for better on the other side, you can miss what you had in the first place.

I compare it to flipping through the channels looking for something better to watch. Nowadays there are so many channels, that by the time you get through them all, the show you were watching is already over.

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aintyoboyfriend

It doesn't matter what sex would feel like with another person, as long as you are happy with the sex you are having right now.

The fact that you question it may be mere curiosity, or it may be that you are subconsciously not happy with the sex you are getting.

calvin88

Hmmm thanks for the replies. yea its more out of curiousity than anything else. I agree with the main points from the replies and thats sort of what I had thought before too.

Martian

I had a few before my current girl. I'm in the same boat as those above who say the sex is perfect (some people here may have read about our exploits). I've had prior experience to compare it with and it's still the best I've ever had.

If you want to know if physically it feels the same, the answer is yes and no. The mechanics are the same with every girl, but not every girl is the same. Some are bigger or smaller, or may have different aspects of it. Some girls are able to take more of your penis into their mouth or less during oral, etc. I've heard of it happening (although it's never been an issue with my thoroughly average sized member) that a girl isn't even to take the whole thing into her, which I'd think would just be uncomfortable for all parties.

My girlfriend and I had this discussion after a bit of a tryst the other day. Both of us have had prior experience and we were comparing some of our prior experiences. We've both said pretty much from the beginning that this is the best either of us have ever had, so we're comfortable talking about what's in the past. And yeah, the conclusion we came to is the same as above. It's all in the nuance and every so often you get two people who just seem to fit.

Here's the catch though. You love your girlfriend and you enjoy having sex with her, that much is a given. What if you were to experience other women (even, for the sake of argument, with her blessing) and find out that she's actually not very good at all? Better to just let it be and enjoy what you've got. It doesn't matter what you're missing if you don't know you're missing it.

Also consider that it gets better with practice. I get the idea that neither of you are particularly experienced; the more you do it, the better it'll be. There's just a bit of a learning curve, is all.

Right. I'm going to stop now, otherwise I may never shut up.

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I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
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analog

Exactly. If it's heaven, why look for a 'better' heaven? The grass may be greener on the other side, but that grass is behind a wall you cannot see through or climb over. If you've got a great bit of grass already, let things be.

justjt

For me to respond to your post correctly I need to ask ...how old are you and how old is yourgirlfriend?? If you don't mind please.

calvin88

We are both 20. She's a couple months older though if that makes a difference. Martian and analog thanks for your responses i guess you guys are right. Although sitting here right now thinking about it I never really think about having sex with other girls. It's more the concept of would it happen the same way? But I assume Martian is right and its just the body and makeup of the girl that differs. But yea im happy where i am so its all good. My gf recently also joined tfp, but hasn't really had too much time to post or anything so hopefully after this post she'll start to chime in too haha.

curious george

I see your pondering in a new light now....
Trouble is, to answer the question, well....

raeanna74

Hubby and I were each other's first. We are swingers now. We had the same question as you to begin with when we had only had each other. It wasn't so much as "is our sex GOOD sex?" but what other ways can sex feel. We've learned a lot about ways to pleasure each other and explored other things that we each enjoy. BUT - knowing what kind of sex is out there whether it's better or worse does not make sex better at home. The reason we continue is for other reasons - not the reason you are questioning things now. Unless you both are interested in swinging - trust me, be content - there is no better sex than with someone you love and trust.

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biznatch

I have also only had sex with one person, but I love it...I'm not even sure I'd wanna try with anyone else, that's how good it feels.
So it feels good, there shouldn't be a problem.If you can think of a way it could feel better, ask her to try it out. but the best thing is not to worry about it...sex and stress don't go well together.

World's King

You're putting your dick in someone. Just focus on that. If you spend too much time worrying about it you'll be spending less time actually do it.

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typette

I think that one of the big advantages of waiting till marriage (or at least being each other's firsts) is that neither of you have anyone to compare each other to, and you get "good" together. You find what works for the two of you, and neither feel they don't measure up.

Buk

pussy is pussy, young, old, tight or loose its all pussy.

Inquiring Mind

It's been interesting to read the advice/perspectives on your post. I have a perspective you've not had so far. My first gf was my first sexual experience, I her second. Me 19, she 17. We fell in love and lived together for several years before deciding we'd like to get married. Sex was always great as far as I was concerned- we had fun, we experimented and learned what each other enjoyed (pussy is pussy, as long as you're getting what you like, why complain or look elsewhere). She would ask if I thought about other women because I only knew her. I had to answer truthfully 'no, you're it and you're great'. I was in love and nothing else mattered. One day she had a one-night-stand in a night club after we'd had a blue. I found out when I took a call from him in the middle of the night. It gutted me for a while, but forgave her and moved on from the lesson. (just a sucker with no self esteem). She still asked how could I be truly happy with her if I didn't know what to compare her with. Call me romantically stupid or just plain naieve, but I just didn't understand why she needed this discussion, because the response was still the same. Long story short, she harrassed me about it until one day I took a slightly longer look at another girl to see if something stirred. It didn't but I pushed myself anyway just so I could tell my gf that she was always going to be my everything. It ended up ugly when I admitted making (unfruitful) advances on another girl. In the washup, she insisted that I slept with a hooker to 'get it out of my system'. I did and it wasn't as good as with the girl I loved. The hooker even asked for my phone number. She said she would appreciate me more than my gf. After becoming my wife, my gf had another affair and is still with the same guy 15 years later. I have had some seriously amazing sex since. My ex's new bloke is now semi-crippled and they sleep in separate rooms! It's been different for me every time and I've learnt alot about how to please a woman and myself as a result. But my truth is that sex can be a lonely experience with someone you don't share love with. For me, the two go hand in hand. That's not to say that recreational sex can't be good for you- it can be great, but eventually the heart needs more. Enjoy what you have where you are and be completely immersed in your feelings for your gf, excluding all others in thought and action otherwise you'll never really know how good it can be with the one you are with.

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But why??

legolas

curious george nailed it with his first post i think. i'm glad you guys have such an honest relationship where you can talk about it, but that also means she is very special. just, whatever you do REALLY think about it beforehand because you can't take back what is already done.

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Acetylene

If you love this girl, and you sleep with someone else, you will almost certainly regret it. Nobody but the one you love deserves you.

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Mr_Tickles

If she occasionally leaves you speechless with a helpless grin on your face, dazed and looking at the ceiling unable to render any speech... it's good.

Expecting that every night is just plain greedy though

And you won't appreciate it then

this_is_vince

since you have nobody else to compare to why dont you compare her to yourself?? is she better than masturbating or are you better? thats a pretty good way to start a system going....if she's better than wanking it congrats and stay with her...but thats if your relationship is on a sexual basis

Thorny

The very best sex is the sex you're having at that moment.


Of course, like all sweeping statements, it doesn't always hold true. Still, while people are different, communication (TALK TALK TALK) compassion, and a little practice will make just about anyone "the best."

tecoyah

Sorry it took so long, she was very good....damn good actually.



Please....do you honestly expect an answer to this....there is no way for anyone here to tell you if she is a good sextoy....unless you really want someone to...uh....research it for you.

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