TheBrit

I'm confused:

(from http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=92459)
CandleInTheDark:
I never read any indication that you were in an exclusive relationship with the woman whom you "cheated" on. As such it wouldn't be any of her business.

Seeker and Coppertop then echo the sentiments.

Ruggerp11:
If you're in an exclusive relationship with this girl then you need to tell her because if you don't have honesty in a relationship then you don't have anything.

The key thing here is specifying "exclusive relationship".

Now, in London, England at least when two people are in a relationship it is assumed to be exclusive, unless specified otherwise. I remember watching Jerry Springer (seriously, it's hilarious) and some guy saying "of course I was having sex with other women, she never said I couldn't!" (Yeah, but you probably said "forsaking all others" in your wedding vows...)
Anyway, is the standard in North America that a relationship isn't exclusive until someone specifies it is? Surely this just creates a culture of fuck buddies? (Assuming of course that people don't cheat on people they have romantic involvment with, again this may just be a British thing.)

Reading these few sentences has thrown me somewhat, it's a clear indicator of the same words, but a different language. I'd love to hear the input on this subject from people around the world though.

Thanks

Martin

ratbastid

I think the general practice in North America is that once a relationship has reached a certain level of "seriousness", sexual exclusivity is expected. Sometimes that's declared explicitly, sometimes it's just implied.

Seeker

I can only help you out with my thoughts regarding that post...

To me, this above statement only implies that they both like each other. There was not a mention of "my girlfried..." which to me would imply an exclusive relationship.

I have just read another post regarding "relationship" issues in where there has been no discussion as to where each person in that relationship stands (are they going steady or is it just taken for granted that they are?). The response in that thread I thought was a good one... Do you label your relationships? If you need to label it, then it needs to be discussed, but what do you do if there isn't a label, and should we label our relationships at all?

Personally, I would prefer to address and communicate within my relationships. I also don't think that we are or could be creating a culture of "fuck buddies", but if we were doing that, why is that a bad thing? (Given that it is done responsibly with communication, testing etc.)

I don't think it's about the "exclusivity of relationships", I would be stressing communication within relationships. To me it would be more preferable that we be honest with ourselves and others in any relationship, no matter what the parameters.

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