need help Giving a sensual Massage - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uber1 · 08-01-2005, 01:05 PM

so I know that giving a good massage is a great forplay for couples. I've tried to give my wife a good rub, but my technique must suck because I seem to end up giving her more pain than pleasure.

I read something about sensual massage which I suppose is a little more intimate than a normal massage. Anyone know of a site on the net that can help with this that has free videos (no im not lookin for porn, just help

) or articles about it? Seems everything Ive found is an expensive series of vids to purchase to become a professional and the like. I dont need that though, just some pointers. Anyone here give massages?

radioguy · 08-01-2005, 01:22 PM

i don't know of any free websites to get information, but one thing that i do know is make sure you don't hit the "goods" too early. massage all around the breasts and the inner thighs and other places. this builds up anticipation and it will benefit you in the long run. be gentle.

i posted on the request board trying to get a pass to loveteacher dot com, but no response yet. check that site out. there are some free things there that might help out and if you get a password, pass it on buddy!!

GoldenOuroboros · 08-01-2005, 02:04 PM

I personally think that most massages given by ones lover is sensual. I've been giving my S.O massages for quite a while so I should be able to give you some pointers

Set the scene first up, have a couple of candles going around the place (I only have one at the moment). What oils are you using? I make up my own concotion of essential oils, if you don't know how to make your own, get down to your local aromatherapy store and get a massage oil that is premade

A massage isn't just about rubbing a person here and there, there is a technique to it. Most importantly is how hard you massage. Harder is not always better. Start off with her lying on her front, work the back, then the legs, get her to sit up and lean back on you to do around her shoulders. Do the front of her legs and work your way up to her chest and go on from there

I'm not giving away all my secrets, best thing to do for learning to give a massage would be to pickup a book on it, I'm sure you will find that there are books on giving a sensual massage as well. I've just learnt things over the years I've been with her, what she likes and doesn't like etc.

Just enjoy it and don't get upset if she falls asleep because the massage is so relaxing

Means you're doing it right

Sugarmouse · 08-01-2005, 02:34 PM

relax her first massaging all her aching bits..then go sensual...stroke her everywhere she is sensitiv..use nice smelling oils..kiss her and stroke her hair..kiss her down her back as u massage her...and go for where u think she wants to be touch using your fingertips..candles are a good idea to relax her...turn her over rest her head on your knees and massage her front....she should be feelig sensual by now...so stroke her breasts..tease her nipples....im goin to shut up now im turning myself on.

buyin a book is a good idea...all sex type books mention massage aswell i find..not that i read those often...

Seaver · 08-01-2005, 02:49 PM

A massage is almost purely mental, not so much physical action.

Items:
First off gentile music, I perfer jazz (look up Coltrain - Too Young to Go Steady).
Candles, 2-3 I suggest, keep it intimate. Too many is distracting
Massage oils are a must. I love Jasmine/Vanilla (Bath and Body Works, red bottle)

What to do:

First off you start with a nice long bubble bath. Once again use 2-3 candles, let her talk about her day and get everything off her mind. With the music in the background she usually wont talk long, as she will relax greatly. Do this until she is very relaxed.

Then, set up the scene while she's in the bath. She stays in so she doesnt get cold, tightens the muscles which you dont want. Lay a towel on the floor where there's enough room, set a candle low on one side, high on the other (if you pay attention she'll stare into the lower candle's light, and close her eyes as she truely relaxes.

When you're ready, have two towels for her. One for the floor (no cold feet), and with the other you slowly dry her off. After she's dried, wrap her in the towel to keep warm and give her a long, passionate kiss. Lead her to your spot and lay her down.

Now have her lay on her stomach on the floor (beds cause her back to bow, which can get uncomfterble) on the towel. When using massage oils you dont pour it on her, but in your hands. You rub them in your hands to warm them up.

From here there's many massaging techniques for differing purposes. Since you cant explain it, I suggest looking it up online (they'll have pics). What I DO suggest, is you use long-motion massages. The difference is quick-motions envigorate and long motion relax (since you're not warming her up for a marathon, you want her to relax).

Hope this helps you out, if you need anymore info you can PM me. Doing this has saved me from many fumbles in relationships, and makes existing ones that much better.

amonkie · 08-01-2005, 03:30 PM

Most of the replies here are guys for girls... I'm a girl so mine have been the other way around, but the tips are the same.

Bubble bath is a near must - the heat relaxes and gets the person recieving the massage in the mood. I like starting the massage while in the tub with them - work the feet in the water, and the relaxing will start before you even get out. Music or no is up to you, but a quiet environment with no interruptions and distractions is ideal.

I like straddling the torso when I'm working both front and back, and guage your pressure by the responses of the other. If they are making contented moanings, or breathing deeply, that is a very good thing. Use a lotion - I love Sandwood Rose by B&BWorks, since its a great stress relief aroma. Always work from the core torso outwards - you want to help the blood flow move from the heart out to the rest of the body. For example, if you are massaging the arms, start at the shoulder/neck, and in long strokes with your decided pressure, press continously down the arms to the elbow or forearm, depending on what works for you. Do the same thing with the legs, up to the feet/toes.

The most important thing is to really be into the massage yourself. For me, this is a way of showing love to my partner, and ALL of my attention is directed into making it enjoyable for them. Being receptive to their knots and body movements will give you an idea how deep to go, and be sure to check in with them occasionally to make sure they're comfortable. It will also be a good idea to have water nearby when you are done, and before they attempt to move anywhere - ESPECIALLY if you have them in the bathtub beforehand. The heat of the tub combined with the release of toxins during the massage will make water a must to replenish the body.

Grasshopper Green · 08-01-2005, 04:16 PM

I read a book on this once, I think it was called the Art of Sensual Massage (I could be wrong though) and it had a lot of good tips in it. A few of the most important points that I remember are make sure the room is warm enough, don't be stingy with the oil, and long strokes are better than short ones.

kramus · 08-01-2005, 04:47 PM

Another key point is try to keep contact at all times - i.e. keep one hand on your partner when you reach for the oil - trail a hand on her when you have her turn from back to front, things like that. The break of contact is a true break of connection and can be jarring to a subtle mood. Another thing is pay attention to the feet and ankles. Pull gently on individual toes, use the heel of your palm to work the heel and ball of the foot, stroke either side of the achilles tendon where it runs into the calf . . .

ngdawg · 08-01-2005, 05:03 PM

Oh my, Kramus!!!

I never had a massage outside of physical therapy(which hurts). I came in here to see how it's done and now, after reading Kramus' reply, I seem to be a bit sweaty....that'll teach me to go where I have nothing of value to add

kramus · 08-01-2005, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ngdawg

Oh my, Kramus!!!

I never had a massage outside of physical therapy(which hurts). I came in here to see how it's done and now, after reading Kramus' reply, I seem to be a bit sweaty....that'll teach me to go where I have nothing of value to add

Tell you what ng - next Rochester I'll bring some oils and such, and show you what my idea of the real deal is massage-wise

hunnychile · 08-01-2005, 06:20 PM

Healing massage is one of my specialties & I love to make my man feel really good and relaxed. We do it on the floor or bed & I either start from the top & shoulders (him laying on his belly or from his toes up to his shoulders, and take a long slow time to rub along the length of All his muscles...never pinch or press too hard. Listen to his/her breathing. I use different lotions, depending upon time & place, but lavender or sandlewood are always a nice fragrence point. In the beginning, you can gently rock your lover with both hands, side to side, like a babe, so that they loosen up. They love this. Cover their bums with a soft blanket to keep them warm also. Have them only think about long deep breathes and join in that experience. I find less talk is much more relaxing, but that's me/us. You will need to cleanse your energy fields on occasion by shaking your hands away from your lover to clear energy blocks. They manifest in many of the lower chakras (energy centers) and feel like electricity sparks. These lower back areas carry old survival memories & impulses from life or death "stuff". As you go up the body slowly be more gentle and aware of your lovers breathing. The shoulders are a big spot of tension. Roll them around gently and tap on them with the sides of your hands. Like gentle karate chops, it's quite envigorating. Knead shoulders like bread. When it's time to roll over, you will want to start at the bottom or top - depending upon your lover's vibes. Be very gentle when you rub the solar plexus, that center of the chest/sternum area. This can be a very intense place of energy pain and or emotion. Sometimes it makes people cry and they don't know why. It is a freeing healing place that is hard to describe. Show care and gentleness there. Rock your lovers head in the cradle of your hands side to side and have them just stay loose- like water. These are steps to a wonderful experience and it gets better every time you share these loving carasses. Have a beautiful time and don't expect sex, perhaps a nap first and spoon together for a while. Caress her hair. Your love will expand in quantum measures.

Peace & love always.
Hunnychile.

abaya · 08-05-2005, 05:33 PM

My god, these are amazing suggestions. Seaver, yours caught my eye first, but a lot of you seem to be damn good masseuses in hiding. Thanks for all the tips!! Ktspktsp and I will take note...

From my experience, all I can say is: take it warm, deep, and slow. (Hmm, that could be applied to other things...

) The essential thing is attentive touching... being aware of every contact point between you and the other person, and how both of you are reacting to that lingering touch. Mmm this is making me want a massage...

tecoyah · 08-06-2005, 01:44 AM

I have found the "Light" touch when working the back and neck is a massive stimulant for women. Often,slowly moving fingertips, that almost do not touch skin at all are the goosebump maker. A state of increased arousal is almost a given.When followed up with pressure massage on the Feet,Calves and Thighs (which often leads to intimate massage)you can melt a woman with touch.

Oh...and Kramus....uh....I'm in line behind Dawg.....heh

ngdawg · 08-06-2005, 07:28 AM

Good gracious!!!! Between Kramus and Tecoyah...I need to..uh...research this...yea, that's it...research..

A friend of mine, a registered nurse, studied a book on the art of Karma Sutra massage and said it is simply a fantastic experience.

/me goes in search of the perfect massager...may as well start at the edges of Lake Ontario!

kramus · 08-06-2005, 07:42 AM

ng, I think Tec wanted to get a rub

Your take is much more . . . pleasing

So, we'll tag team the Dawg Tecoyah. Only wait outside of the Temple of Sensual Delight for my signal, ok?

(but you may need to be patient - I'd probably need a nap after helping release the tensions from her chakras)

ngdawg · 08-06-2005, 09:03 AM

There ARE 7, ya know....

kramus · 08-06-2005, 09:09 AM

/me puts "6-pack of Red Bull" on his shopping list

The first one is from the heart

uber1 · 08-15-2005, 07:09 AM

great ideas everyone, thanks so much for the input.

Xazy · 08-15-2005, 09:29 AM

One thing I like while getting (giving) a message is to use a blindfold, something comfortable. But being blindfolded heightens the other senses, so the candles, oil, touch all come thru more.

08-01-2005, 01:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
uber1 Crazy	need help Giving a sensual Massage so I know that giving a good massage is a great forplay for couples. I've tried to give my wife a good rub, but my technique must suck because I seem to end up giving her more pain than pleasure. I read something about sensual massage which I suppose is a little more intimate than a normal massage. Anyone know of a site on the net that can help with this that has free videos (no im not lookin for porn, just help ) or articles about it? Seems everything Ive found is an expensive series of vids to purchase to become a professional and the like. I dont need that though, just some pointers. Anyone here give massages? __________________ tubulartuddles

08-01-2005, 02:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
GoldenOuroboros The Cheshire Grin... Location: An Aussie Outback	I personally think that most massages given by ones lover is sensual. I've been giving my S.O massages for quite a while so I should be able to give you some pointers Set the scene first up, have a couple of candles going around the place (I only have one at the moment). What oils are you using? I make up my own concotion of essential oils, if you don't know how to make your own, get down to your local aromatherapy store and get a massage oil that is premade A massage isn't just about rubbing a person here and there, there is a technique to it. Most importantly is how hard you massage. Harder is not always better. Start off with her lying on her front, work the back, then the legs, get her to sit up and lean back on you to do around her shoulders. Do the front of her legs and work your way up to her chest and go on from there I'm not giving away all my secrets, best thing to do for learning to give a massage would be to pickup a book on it, I'm sure you will find that there are books on giving a sensual massage as well. I've just learnt things over the years I've been with her, what she likes and doesn't like etc. Just enjoy it and don't get upset if she falls asleep because the massage is so relaxing Means you're doing it right __________________ Can you see me grin grin grrriiiiinnnning?!

08-01-2005, 02:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
Sugarmouse Insane Location: Preston lancs(i know i know)	relax her first massaging all her aching bits..then go sensual...stroke her everywhere she is sensitiv..use nice smelling oils..kiss her and stroke her hair..kiss her down her back as u massage her...and go for where u think she wants to be touch using your fingertips..candles are a good idea to relax her...turn her over rest her head on your knees and massage her front....she should be feelig sensual by now...so stroke her breasts..tease her nipples....im goin to shut up now im turning myself on. buyin a book is a good idea...all sex type books mention massage aswell i find..not that i read those often... __________________ Sugarmouse=Festered

08-01-2005, 03:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	Most of the replies here are guys for girls... I'm a girl so mine have been the other way around, but the tips are the same. Bubble bath is a near must - the heat relaxes and gets the person recieving the massage in the mood. I like starting the massage while in the tub with them - work the feet in the water, and the relaxing will start before you even get out. Music or no is up to you, but a quiet environment with no interruptions and distractions is ideal. I like straddling the torso when I'm working both front and back, and guage your pressure by the responses of the other. If they are making contented moanings, or breathing deeply, that is a very good thing. Use a lotion - I love Sandwood Rose by B&BWorks, since its a great stress relief aroma. Always work from the core torso outwards - you want to help the blood flow move from the heart out to the rest of the body. For example, if you are massaging the arms, start at the shoulder/neck, and in long strokes with your decided pressure, press continously down the arms to the elbow or forearm, depending on what works for you. Do the same thing with the legs, up to the feet/toes. The most important thing is to really be into the massage yourself. For me, this is a way of showing love to my partner, and ALL of my attention is directed into making it enjoyable for them. Being receptive to their knots and body movements will give you an idea how deep to go, and be sure to check in with them occasionally to make sure they're comfortable. It will also be a good idea to have water nearby when you are done, and before they attempt to move anywhere - ESPECIALLY if you have them in the bathtub beforehand. The heat of the tub combined with the release of toxins during the massage will make water a must to replenish the body. __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

08-01-2005, 04:16 PM	#7 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	I read a book on this once, I think it was called the Art of Sensual Massage (I could be wrong though) and it had a lot of good tips in it. A few of the most important points that I remember are make sure the room is warm enough, don't be stingy with the oil, and long strokes are better than short ones. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

08-01-2005, 01:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
radioguy Registered User Location: Texas	i don't know of any free websites to get information, but one thing that i do know is make sure you don't hit the "goods" too early. massage all around the breasts and the inner thighs and other places. this builds up anticipation and it will benefit you in the long run. be gentle. i posted on the request board trying to get a pass to loveteacher dot com, but no response yet. check that site out. there are some free things there that might help out and if you get a password, pass it on buddy!!

08-01-2005, 02:49 PM	#5 (permalink)
Seaver Junkie Location: Fort Worth, TX	A massage is almost purely mental, not so much physical action. Items: First off gentile music, I perfer jazz (look up Coltrain - Too Young to Go Steady). Candles, 2-3 I suggest, keep it intimate. Too many is distracting Massage oils are a must. I love Jasmine/Vanilla (Bath and Body Works, red bottle) What to do: First off you start with a nice long bubble bath. Once again use 2-3 candles, let her talk about her day and get everything off her mind. With the music in the background she usually wont talk long, as she will relax greatly. Do this until she is very relaxed. Then, set up the scene while she's in the bath. She stays in so she doesnt get cold, tightens the muscles which you dont want. Lay a towel on the floor where there's enough room, set a candle low on one side, high on the other (if you pay attention she'll stare into the lower candle's light, and close her eyes as she truely relaxes. When you're ready, have two towels for her. One for the floor (no cold feet), and with the other you slowly dry her off. After she's dried, wrap her in the towel to keep warm and give her a long, passionate kiss. Lead her to your spot and lay her down. Now have her lay on her stomach on the floor (beds cause her back to bow, which can get uncomfterble) on the towel. When using massage oils you dont pour it on her, but in your hands. You rub them in your hands to warm them up. From here there's many massaging techniques for differing purposes. Since you cant explain it, I suggest looking it up online (they'll have pics). What I DO suggest, is you use long-motion massages. The difference is quick-motions envigorate and long motion relax (since you're not warming her up for a marathon, you want her to relax). Hope this helps you out, if you need anymore info you can PM me. Doing this has saved me from many fumbles in relationships, and makes existing ones that much better.

08-01-2005, 04:47 PM	#8 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	Another key point is try to keep contact at all times - i.e. keep one hand on your partner when you reach for the oil - trail a hand on her when you have her turn from back to front, things like that. The break of contact is a true break of connection and can be jarring to a subtle mood. Another thing is pay attention to the feet and ankles. Pull gently on individual toes, use the heel of your palm to work the heel and ball of the foot, stroke either side of the achilles tendon where it runs into the calf . . . __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

08-01-2005, 05:03 PM	#9 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Oh my, Kramus!!! I never had a massage outside of physical therapy(which hurts). I came in here to see how it's done and now, after reading Kramus' reply, I seem to be a bit sweaty....that'll teach me to go where I have nothing of value to add __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

08-01-2005, 06:20 PM	#11 (permalink)
hunnychile Alien Anthropologist Location: Between Boredom and Nirvana	Healing massage is one of my specialties & I love to make my man feel really good and relaxed. We do it on the floor or bed & I either start from the top & shoulders (him laying on his belly or from his toes up to his shoulders, and take a long slow time to rub along the length of All his muscles...never pinch or press too hard. Listen to his/her breathing. I use different lotions, depending upon time & place, but lavender or sandlewood are always a nice fragrence point. In the beginning, you can gently rock your lover with both hands, side to side, like a babe, so that they loosen up. They love this. Cover their bums with a soft blanket to keep them warm also. Have them only think about long deep breathes and join in that experience. I find less talk is much more relaxing, but that's me/us. You will need to cleanse your energy fields on occasion by shaking your hands away from your lover to clear energy blocks. They manifest in many of the lower chakras (energy centers) and feel like electricity sparks. These lower back areas carry old survival memories & impulses from life or death "stuff". As you go up the body slowly be more gentle and aware of your lovers breathing. The shoulders are a big spot of tension. Roll them around gently and tap on them with the sides of your hands. Like gentle karate chops, it's quite envigorating. Knead shoulders like bread. When it's time to roll over, you will want to start at the bottom or top - depending upon your lover's vibes. Be very gentle when you rub the solar plexus, that center of the chest/sternum area. This can be a very intense place of energy pain and or emotion. Sometimes it makes people cry and they don't know why. It is a freeing healing place that is hard to describe. Show care and gentleness there. Rock your lovers head in the cradle of your hands side to side and have them just stay loose- like water. These are steps to a wonderful experience and it gets better every time you share these loving carasses. Have a beautiful time and don't expect sex, perhaps a nap first and spoon together for a while. Caress her hair. Your love will expand in quantum measures. Peace & love always. Hunnychile. __________________ "I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

08-05-2005, 05:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	My god, these are amazing suggestions. Seaver, yours caught my eye first, but a lot of you seem to be damn good masseuses in hiding. Thanks for all the tips!! Ktspktsp and I will take note... From my experience, all I can say is: take it warm, deep, and slow. (Hmm, that could be applied to other things... ) The essential thing is attentive touching... being aware of every contact point between you and the other person, and how both of you are reacting to that lingering touch. Mmm this is making me want a massage... __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

08-06-2005, 01:44 AM	#13 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	I have found the "Light" touch when working the back and neck is a massive stimulant for women. Often,slowly moving fingertips, that almost do not touch skin at all are the goosebump maker. A state of increased arousal is almost a given.When followed up with pressure massage on the Feet,Calves and Thighs (which often leads to intimate massage)you can melt a woman with touch. Oh...and Kramus....uh....I'm in line behind Dawg.....heh __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

08-06-2005, 07:28 AM	#14 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Good gracious!!!! Between Kramus and Tecoyah...I need to..uh...research this...yea, that's it...research.. A friend of mine, a registered nurse, studied a book on the art of Karma Sutra massage and said it is simply a fantastic experience. /me goes in search of the perfect massager...may as well start at the edges of Lake Ontario! __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

08-06-2005, 07:42 AM	#15 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	ng, I think Tec wanted to get a rub Your take is much more . . . pleasing So, we'll tag team the Dawg Tecoyah. Only wait outside of the Temple of Sensual Delight for my signal, ok? (but you may need to be patient - I'd probably need a nap after helping release the tensions from her chakras) __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

08-06-2005, 09:03 AM	#16 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	There ARE 7, ya know.... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

08-06-2005, 09:09 AM	#17 (permalink)
kramus loving the curves Location: my Lady's manor	/me puts "6-pack of Red Bull" on his shopping list The first one is from the heart __________________ And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

08-15-2005, 07:09 AM	#18 (permalink)
uber1 Crazy	great ideas everyone, thanks so much for the input. __________________ tubulartuddles

08-15-2005, 09:29 AM	#19 (permalink)
Xazy People in masks cannot be trusted Location: NYC	One thing I like while getting (giving) a message is to use a blindfold, something comfortable. But being blindfolded heightens the other senses, so the candles, oil, touch all come thru more.