Analyze this: strange co-worker behavior. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Prince · 07-19-2005, 07:31 PM

This happened last night at work, and I am not sure what to make of it.

There aren't many of us working the night shift. One of my female co-workers has always been very chatty with me, the few months she's been working there, and seems to flirt with a lot of the guys there. She's usually complaining about her no-good cheating husband and how she's leaving the "piece of shit". The way I figured was that she was a love-hungry lonely wife of a man who didn't care much, and that she wanted attention from men, perhaps even wanted them to want her, but she'd never actually act on any approaches toward her. Perhaps she just wanted to feel better about herself.

In the last few weeks she's started "giving me pointers" about sex-related stuff. In the theme of "you know, women really like this and that". My sex life with my wife is going so-so, but I never asked for any "advice". Last night took the cake though. On a break, she was scribbling in her notebook, and I joked about her writing the great American novel. She decided to show me what she was writing, which was a graphic monologue of a sexual nature. It basically went in the style of "...want you to slide your cock into my pussy..." etc etc. It went on and on and was very detailed.

It caught me completely by surprise. I made a half-assed joking compliment to the effect of "now that's a great American novel alright" or something. Anyway, she essentially says that this is to give me ideas for what to do with my wife. She stretches her hand over towards me, handing me a pen and tells me that I need to give it a try, too.

"It has to be in your handwriting", she adds.

This is where, at last, an alarm goes off in my head. Why does it have to be in my handwriting?

Needless (?) to say I don't take her up on her offer. I mean, what was I going to do, write stuff like "...slide my cock into your pussy..." in her notebook? For the purpose of what? And to have it show up...where?

She's been calling my cell a few times in the past few days, leaving messages asking me to call her back. Maybe she wants a friend. Maybe she's playing mind games. I don't know.

I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I usually consider myself relatively good at analyzing people's behavior, and the motives behind it, but this time I am either not getting it, or am simply not wanting to admit that I do. I have no interest in this person whatsoever, but I feel intrigued, confused and alarmed at the same time. What the hell does she want?

the_marq · 07-19-2005, 07:34 PM

Friends don't use phrases like "slide you cock into my pussy..." regardless of the context.

Avoid her.

Perhaps tell your wife a censored version of that story. That way if things get out of hand (IE; the calls stop coming to your cell phone and to your home fone) your wife will be more likely to belive your pleas of innocence.

Avoid her.

TexanAvenger · 07-19-2005, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_marq

Friends don't use phrases like "slide you cock into my pussy..." regardless of the context.

Avoid her.

Perhaps tell your wife a censored version of that story. That way if things get out of hand (IE; the calls stop coming to your cell phone and to your home fone) your wife will be more likely to belive your pleas of innocence.

Avoid her.

What's more, you might want to confront her on the issue and ask what the hell this is all about. The idea of telling your wife seems like a key one as well.

And avoid her, please.

rival · 07-19-2005, 09:12 PM

Quote:

She's been calling my cell a few times in the past few days, leaving messages asking me to call her back. Maybe she wants a friend. Maybe she's playing mind games. I don't know.

The first thing you need to do is get your pet rabbit someplace safe. You'll probably want to check him into a motel under an assumed name. Better safe than sorry.

Besides that, I wouldn't worry too much. It's obvious she crossed a line she shouldn't have, she's probably realized that and is calling to set things right. Then again, she may be trying to drag you across the line and into her bed. Just let her know you aren't interested and she should shift her focus to someone else.

hrandani · 07-20-2005, 12:44 AM

Perhaps she's trying to instigate a divorce against her husband by using you as unwilling proof of her infidelity?

Cervantes · 07-20-2005, 03:02 AM

Seems like she was trying to get some kind of leverage over you. Maybe to blackmail you into her bed or something... If she had that kind of text written in her notebook with your handwriting she could threaten to tell your wife that you and her had an affair and give the text as proof.
You can thank your lucky star that she was so clumsy that your warninglights lit up.

healer · 07-20-2005, 03:20 AM

Avoid her like the plague. You might not know exactly what she's up to, but I'd definitely proceed with a generous helping of caution.

Telling your wife could backfire on you, depending on the nature of your relationship. You might get a "she wouldn't have said/done things like that if you didn't giver her reason to" from the wife, which isn't that uncommon.

As I said before...like the friggin plague.

Xazy · 07-20-2005, 03:21 AM

I would consider before confronting her, picking up the phone in front of her, saying it is your wife. Mention to her, how great your relationship is. Ask her for advice for anniversary gift etc...

And if after that she does not get the hint, then you sadly have to confront her directly.

Catdaddy33 · 07-20-2005, 03:22 AM

Misery likes company, maybe she does want to frame you..so she can get to you..

You could always pull the "this isn't appropriate at work" card on her, not sure where you work or the rules there but most companies are very paranoid about sexual harassment issues..

alec · 07-20-2005, 09:06 AM

wait, do you want to slide your cock into her tight pussy?

Prince · 07-20-2005, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alec

wait, do you want to slide your cock into her tight pussy?

God, no.

twinkle · 07-20-2005, 01:50 PM

Agreed, she's a bunny boiler.

RUN

KungFuGuy · 07-20-2005, 02:10 PM

its kind of hard to judge her character based on just that. Try and think about how she deals with other problems in her life. specifically with other people. does she like to gossip and spread rumors?

Going just on what you said I would have to recomend avoiding her. Use your judgement as to whether or not you should confront her about how uncomfortable she has made you. THat bit with the notebook does reek of a set up.

JumpinJesus · 07-20-2005, 04:31 PM

I'm in the "she's-using-you-to-make-her-husband-think-she's-having-an-affair" camp. Sadly, the way she's going about it is making her seem a little unhinged.

CityOfAngels · 07-20-2005, 04:37 PM

Things I agree with:
1) Definitely tell your wife about it. Let your wife know exactly what's going on, and why you're telling her (because you love her and want her to know when some lady might be trying to steal you away).
2) She might be trying to get some leverage on you.
3) She's a bunny boiler.

Other things I must add:
1) She might be one of those people who make money primarily from lawsuits. Why is this apparent? "It has to be your handwriting." Hah, yeah. If she has anything that looks like sexual harassment, IN WRITING, she can use it on you. And what judge is gonna believe, "She was teaching me how to be sexually intimate with my own wife and she said it would help if I came on to her at work in writing." This situation really reeks of this possibility.
2) She might be genuinely interested in you, and she might think there's a possibility that you're interested in her. Tell her the truth next time anything of this nature comes up. Tell her, "I'm very sorry, but I am happily married and don't feel comfortable talking about this stuff with another woman."
3) She might be crazy. Stay away from her.

bing bing · 07-20-2005, 05:44 PM

Man, i wish shit as exciting as this happened to me at work. Anyway, to give advice that's already been given, stay the hell away man.

agent79 · 07-20-2005, 07:32 PM

i agree with bing bing, stay away. sounds like the "co-worker fog" has impaired your judgement, which is easy. inform your wife, avoid the crazy, and tell people at work too...you know, witnesses.

Daniel_ · 07-21-2005, 02:38 AM

Scary.

RUN!

And then tell us all about it.

JustJess · 07-21-2005, 06:04 AM

Or, for fun, you could always sue HER for sexual harassment! Women are the most common victims, but they are not the only ones. Just a crazy thought.

but yeah, she's nuts. And if your wife is even remotely stable, she'll want to know.

fresnelly · 07-21-2005, 02:52 PM

I also sit in the 'tell your wife' camp. You sound pretty innocent and you should be able to have a good laugh about this scary loon. Please keep us updated on how this all pans out.

worpspd · 07-21-2005, 03:05 PM

In addition to what's been suggested, go to your Human Resources department, if you have one, and have them document it. As someone who used to work in HR, believe me, they'll take it seriously. You should also tell your boss.

raeanna74 · 07-21-2005, 03:08 PM

Tell you wife ASAP. Be completely upfront with her. Ask her help in ideas of how to twart this woman and what she thinks this woman could be up to.

Maybe one step farther even - do you have an individual at work responsible for employee relations?? Is it a small close nit company or larger. If it's larger you could keep the issue annonymous easier. It might be important to cover your bases and speak to someone about your unease. Tell them that it may not be a big issue and that you want to avoid trouble but that should the woman pursue the issue further that you want them aware of her activities. Who knows who else she might have tried these things on. Keep everyone necessary informed of the situation without blowing the horn on her.

She definately sounds suspicious. Granted she may be interested in you but no matter what her reasons behind her "request" the result cannot be good.

Lastly (after you've explained the situation to all interested parties) you could confront her about the discomfort that she's caused you. She may have not intended harm and only wanted a tittlating story to read herself but on the other hand she could go ballistic so have your bases covered.

07-19-2005, 07:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
Prince /nɑndəsˈkrɪpt/ Location: LV-426	Analyze this: strange co-worker behavior. This happened last night at work, and I am not sure what to make of it. There aren't many of us working the night shift. One of my female co-workers has always been very chatty with me, the few months she's been working there, and seems to flirt with a lot of the guys there. She's usually complaining about her no-good cheating husband and how she's leaving the "piece of shit". The way I figured was that she was a love-hungry lonely wife of a man who didn't care much, and that she wanted attention from men, perhaps even wanted them to want her, but she'd never actually act on any approaches toward her. Perhaps she just wanted to feel better about herself. In the last few weeks she's started "giving me pointers" about sex-related stuff. In the theme of "you know, women really like this and that". My sex life with my wife is going so-so, but I never asked for any "advice". Last night took the cake though. On a break, she was scribbling in her notebook, and I joked about her writing the great American novel. She decided to show me what she was writing, which was a graphic monologue of a sexual nature. It basically went in the style of "...want you to slide your cock into my pussy..." etc etc. It went on and on and was very detailed. It caught me completely by surprise. I made a half-assed joking compliment to the effect of "now that's a great American novel alright" or something. Anyway, she essentially says that this is to give me ideas for what to do with my wife. She stretches her hand over towards me, handing me a pen and tells me that I need to give it a try, too. "It has to be in your handwriting", she adds. This is where, at last, an alarm goes off in my head. Why does it have to be in my handwriting? Needless (?) to say I don't take her up on her offer. I mean, what was I going to do, write stuff like "...slide my cock into your pussy..." in her notebook? For the purpose of what? And to have it show up...where? She's been calling my cell a few times in the past few days, leaving messages asking me to call her back. Maybe she wants a friend. Maybe she's playing mind games. I don't know. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I usually consider myself relatively good at analyzing people's behavior, and the motives behind it, but this time I am either not getting it, or am simply not wanting to admit that I do. I have no interest in this person whatsoever, but I feel intrigued, confused and alarmed at the same time. What the hell does she want? __________________ Who is John Galt?

07-19-2005, 07:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
the_marq All hail the Mountain King Location: Black Mesa	Friends don't use phrases like "slide you cock into my pussy..." regardless of the context. Avoid her. Perhaps tell your wife a censored version of that story. That way if things get out of hand (IE; the calls stop coming to your cell phone and to your home fone) your wife will be more likely to belive your pleas of innocence. Avoid her. __________________ The Truth: Johnny Cash could have kicked Bruce Lee's ass if he wanted to. #3 in a series

07-20-2005, 03:02 AM	#6 (permalink)
Cervantes Psycho Location: Above you	Seems like she was trying to get some kind of leverage over you. Maybe to blackmail you into her bed or something... If she had that kind of text written in her notebook with your handwriting she could threaten to tell your wife that you and her had an affair and give the text as proof. You can thank your lucky star that she was so clumsy that your warninglights lit up. __________________ - "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned.." - "Religions take everything that your DNA naturally wants to do to survive and pro-create and makes it wrong." - "There is only one absolute truth and that is that there is only one absolute truth."

07-20-2005, 04:31 PM	#14 (permalink)
JumpinJesus Junkie Location: Chicago	I'm in the "she's-using-you-to-make-her-husband-think-she's-having-an-affair" camp. Sadly, the way she's going about it is making her seem a little unhinged. __________________ "I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

07-21-2005, 02:38 AM	#18 (permalink)
Daniel_ Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It! Location: Southern England	Scary. RUN! And then tell us all about it. __________________ ╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗ Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air, And deep beneath the rolling waves, In labyrinths of Coral Caves, The Echo of a distant time Comes willowing across the sand; And everthing is Green and Submarine ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

07-20-2005, 12:44 AM	#5 (permalink)
hrandani Insane	Perhaps she's trying to instigate a divorce against her husband by using you as unwilling proof of her infidelity?

07-20-2005, 03:21 AM	#8 (permalink)
Xazy People in masks cannot be trusted Location: NYC	I would consider before confronting her, picking up the phone in front of her, saying it is your wife. Mention to her, how great your relationship is. Ask her for advice for anniversary gift etc... And if after that she does not get the hint, then you sadly have to confront her directly.

07-20-2005, 03:22 AM	#9 (permalink)
Catdaddy33 Psycho Location: TN	Misery likes company, maybe she does want to frame you..so she can get to you.. You could always pull the "this isn't appropriate at work" card on her, not sure where you work or the rules there but most companies are very paranoid about sexual harassment issues..

07-20-2005, 09:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
alec Insane Location: Washington DC	wait, do you want to slide your cock into her tight pussy?

07-20-2005, 01:50 PM	#12 (permalink)
twinkle Upright	Agreed, she's a bunny boiler. RUN

07-20-2005, 02:10 PM	#13 (permalink)
KungFuGuy Insane	its kind of hard to judge her character based on just that. Try and think about how she deals with other problems in her life. specifically with other people. does she like to gossip and spread rumors? Going just on what you said I would have to recomend avoiding her. Use your judgement as to whether or not you should confront her about how uncomfortable she has made you. THat bit with the notebook does reek of a set up.

07-20-2005, 04:37 PM	#15 (permalink)
CityOfAngels Oh shit it's Wayne Brady! Location: Passenger seat of Wayne Brady's car.	Things I agree with: 1) Definitely tell your wife about it. Let your wife know exactly what's going on, and why you're telling her (because you love her and want her to know when some lady might be trying to steal you away). 2) She might be trying to get some leverage on you. 3) She's a bunny boiler. Other things I must add: 1) She might be one of those people who make money primarily from lawsuits. Why is this apparent? "It has to be your handwriting." Hah, yeah. If she has anything that looks like sexual harassment, IN WRITING, she can use it on you. And what judge is gonna believe, "She was teaching me how to be sexually intimate with my own wife and she said it would help if I came on to her at work in writing." This situation really reeks of this possibility. 2) She might be genuinely interested in you, and she might think there's a possibility that you're interested in her. Tell her the truth next time anything of this nature comes up. Tell her, "I'm very sorry, but I am happily married and don't feel comfortable talking about this stuff with another woman." 3) She might be crazy. Stay away from her.

07-20-2005, 05:44 PM	#16 (permalink)
bing bing Addict Location: Melbourne, Australia	Man, i wish shit as exciting as this happened to me at work. Anyway, to give advice that's already been given, stay the hell away man.

07-20-2005, 07:32 PM	#17 (permalink)
agent79 Upright Location: chicago	i agree with bing bing, stay away. sounds like the "co-worker fog" has impaired your judgement, which is easy. inform your wife, avoid the crazy, and tell people at work too...you know, witnesses.

07-21-2005, 06:04 AM	#19 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	Or, for fun, you could always sue HER for sexual harassment! Women are the most common victims, but they are not the only ones. Just a crazy thought. but yeah, she's nuts. And if your wife is even remotely stable, she'll want to know. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

07-21-2005, 02:52 PM	#20 (permalink)
fresnelly Functionally Appropriate Location: Toronto	I also sit in the 'tell your wife' camp. You sound pretty innocent and you should be able to have a good laugh about this scary loon. Please keep us updated on how this all pans out. __________________ Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

07-21-2005, 03:05 PM	#21 (permalink)
worpspd Upright	In addition to what's been suggested, go to your Human Resources department, if you have one, and have them document it. As someone who used to work in HR, believe me, they'll take it seriously. You should also tell your boss.

07-21-2005, 03:08 PM	#22 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Tell you wife ASAP. Be completely upfront with her. Ask her help in ideas of how to twart this woman and what she thinks this woman could be up to. Maybe one step farther even - do you have an individual at work responsible for employee relations?? Is it a small close nit company or larger. If it's larger you could keep the issue annonymous easier. It might be important to cover your bases and speak to someone about your unease. Tell them that it may not be a big issue and that you want to avoid trouble but that should the woman pursue the issue further that you want them aware of her activities. Who knows who else she might have tried these things on. Keep everyone necessary informed of the situation without blowing the horn on her. She definately sounds suspicious. Granted she may be interested in you but no matter what her reasons behind her "request" the result cannot be good. Lastly (after you've explained the situation to all interested parties) you could confront her about the discomfort that she's caused you. She may have not intended harm and only wanted a tittlating story to read herself but on the other hand she could go ballistic so have your bases covered. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.