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Old 07-14-2005, 11:42 AM   #1 (permalink)
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To say "I love you" or to not... that is the question

I met this girl three weeks ago, and she is the most wonderful person I've ever met. We both like eachother a great deal - she said I'm the best thing that's happened to her in years, yada yada. We go to different colleges which are about an hour away from eachother, and we go back in a month. Because of that, we agreed we should just jump into this instead of being coy with eachother since we only have a month of seeing eachother on a regular basis. Anyways, I think I'm falling in love with this girl, but I'm afraid to tell her. I mean, we've only known eachother for three weeks, so that seems rather sudden; although it was sudden for her to tell me all the things she said about me. Her profile says that if you love your girl, you should tell them, but I don't know if I should. I'm scared of freaking her out because things are going well between us right now... what do you guys think I should do?

The best option I see is to go with the flow for another few weeks, and then lay everything on the line when it deems necessary. However, I truly think this girl could be the one, and I feel like I love her now. I just don't know...
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Old 07-14-2005, 11:56 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Go with "I think I'm falling in love with you" and see how she reacts.

Good luck.
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:16 PM   #3 (permalink)
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yea, go with the flow for a bit. If you say I love you and she says it back then you're golden, but if she doesn't then your sol. Let it happen. If you think its really going well then you can afford to wait.

On the other hand

Its the best feeling in the world
if you say it and she reciprocates then helllloooo cloud nine.

Tough call. Try and read the situation by saying something like Daniel said...
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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i'm going to go with.... why are you going to put that kind of pressure on a relationship so quickly?
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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It's not that I wanna put pressure on it, I just feel it, and I wanna say it. That's all.
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:35 PM   #6 (permalink)
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the cynic in me says 3 weeks? You barely know each other's middle names after three weeks... You probably don't fart in front of her and her hair always looks perfect. The cynic says you barely know each other after 3 weeks.... Give it time...

The romantic in me says- eh - if you feel it you feel it-- you know when someone is falling for you - they get all moony faces over you... and well ya just know...
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Old 07-14-2005, 12:38 PM   #7 (permalink)
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At one point in time my wife and I were only dating for 3 weeks too, and now its been...um...14 years.

On the other hand I don't think I said I love you for several months.

There are too many variables here to be sure, but I have seen guys screw up by popping the "L" word too early.
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Old 07-14-2005, 01:31 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Better to go too slow than too fast. Intensity kills.

If it's slow, she'll indicate somehow that she wishes things were moving more quickly (just be very, very attentive to hints).

If you go to fast, you risk scaring the poop out of her and scaring her away.
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Old 07-14-2005, 01:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
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if you feel it, say it, because if you don't you will regret it. just be aware that you may not get a favorable answer ie: i love you in return. just be honest and say what you feel. saying "i love you" is a risk, but it seems like you are willing to risk it. good luck!
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Old 07-14-2005, 02:26 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Dave and I said it to each other at 3 weeks....and every body around here knows how that turned out (in case you dont we are getting married in 106 days)...we will have been together 2 years in September...we would have said it earlier but he was out of state working for a week and a half of those 3 weeks and we wanted to say it in person

I say go for it
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Old 07-14-2005, 05:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I'd recommend waiting. Sure, there are cases of it working well (especially ShaniFaye), but I've messed up relationships by saying it very soon after starting dating. A much better thing is to (either in passing or jokingly) make some comment about starting to fall in love with her and see how she responds.
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Old 07-14-2005, 06:11 PM   #12 (permalink)
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ya know what? ive always said exactly what was on my mind. I've said stuff like: man, do you EVER stop talking?, You are really annoying, ya just have to one-up everything i say, don't you... etc, etc. And its gotten me this far. Ok, well, bad example. BUT, nevertheless, be very attentive to her feelings, body language, facial expressions before and during your big statement. And just say what you are thinking right then and there about you and her. Wait until you are watching a romantic movie, or watching things over the peir, look her straight in the eye, and see what she does. If she smiles, not time yet, but if she looks right back at you in a certain type of way, (you'll know), you might want to say it.

but then again, hopeless romantic talking
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Old 07-14-2005, 07:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Thanks for the suggestions. I'll wait for a really romantic moment, and there are going to be several coming up soon.
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Old 07-14-2005, 08:00 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I said it to streak_56 after 1 month...mind you, we'd known each other for over a year at that point. I'd put out a few feelers before diving headfirst and saying "I love you".

Example.

"I love spending time with you." "I love how you make me feel."

My indicator that it was "The Time" was an email I sent, signed Love, *myname*. The response had Love, *hisname* at the end.
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Old 07-14-2005, 09:18 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I'd say the answer lies in your question. If you're not sure if you should say it or not, it's usually best not to say it. Then again, I stepped out on a limb and said it after a few weeks, but only after I'd gotten clues that indicated she felt the same way, i.e. "I've totally fallen, if you know what I mean" in her journal, etc. It was soon, but we're coming up on two years very soon. Different situations call for different measures I suppose. Good luck!
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