What do girls want to hear?
 

I was just wondering if anyone know what girls want to hear. I have a girlfriend and I tell her how beautiful and smart she is, and always point out if she has done something different, and so on, but I was just wondering if there was something else. Is there something women want to hear that is not obvious to men? What do woman dream about hearing? What do women really want to be told?

Thank you in advance for any insight.

i think alot of girls want to hear that they're appreciated....other than that you seem to be doing a great job :)

The truth...

I'm not trying to be smart or funny here. I really mean the truth.

I can only speak for myself, but I certainly find a difference between someone saying something because they believe it, and somebody who is giving me a line for any reason.

Tell a girl she's beautiful or gorgeous and she melts.

The following is just opinion:

Women just want to "Hear".....which means we need to "Talk"

Communication...truthful and open. No lines, No bullshit, no lies.
If we can do that....we can make them somewhat happy.

Girls on the other hand......want to be told they are pretty, and see "Need" in your eyes.

These lessons I have learned the hard way.....I just wish I could say I practice them at all times. But we can try.....and try again.

Compliments and the like can feel overdone if they come all the time, even if you mean them all the time.

Instead, try switching it up, and compliment her by saying how much you enjoy having her around, or that you value her opinions, etc.

Something not necessarily physical.

The best thing a woman can hear from a day differs from women and differs in women day to day. There's no way to know what she wants to hear unless you are just the right person to say it.

I thought it was either "Lets have sex" or "what's for dinner?" Man, no wonder I keep having to post in the masturbation and ain't gettin' any threads...

Tell them how smart they are. "Oh your so smart'' or "your smarter than me." Girls like to feel smart. Don't insult their intelligence. Also physical comments are good too. If she thinks her ass is fat tell her, "Its perfect" or "you look really good today," even if she has no make-up on and just woke up. Catch 'em of guard. :D

That's a good start...
I'm a woman, not a girl, and I can only speak for myself... I don't necessarily want to hear shallow comments -- because I probably wouldn't beleive them and would wonder what you did that you were sucking up or what you wanted... What I want is to be paid attention to... and to be "gotten"... I'm a little different and not quite easily figured out... I want someone with the patience to figure me out...

That's not words, that's not flattery, that's paying attention and going with that... Which is sounds like you are doing...

The comments that girls want to hear that they are pretty etc.. make me kinda nuts... i think all people want sincerity.. Not all girls may feel they are pretty- and if you tell them that they are pretty - they might not beleive it - and it could cause problems... Tell them what you honestly see - they have a smile that lights up a room -- if it's true.. that they have beautiful eyes... if it's true.... EVERYONE... (even ugly me) has one positive quality about themselves.... THAT is what they want noticed... It's not about talking it's about listening and paying attention...

and three paragraphs in, I realize this is not making a whole lot of sense... I will be back after more coffee

I want to hear that I make an impact on your life....thats about it....everything else I want isnt a verbal thing.

I hate being told Im pretty, I do not see myself as pretty, and certainly not beautiful. I hate being told Im smart...it makes me feel like he's belittling HIMSELF when he does that.

I know from someone's actions if they actually pay attention to me....words just dont do it

I say girls instead of women because all of my girlfriends have been 18-20 years old. Very shallow and not to bright. I look at them as girls. I can't use big words in front of them and they can't do anything for themselves. My last girlfriend didn't know how to open a bank account or do a load of laundry. We were watching television and I was watching a documentry about Rodney king and the L.A. riots. She came in and started watching. After about 2 minutes of silence,

"Whos Rodney King?", she said.

I laughed(thinking shes only kidding) Then she asked again.

"You know the L.A. riots?!" She shakes her head.

"never heard of it," she says. Long story short, I blew up and yelled at her. She cried. I just couldn't believe how ignorant she was.

I know I got off subject here, but when I said shes pretty or smart, it worked. The Women of TFP are way to smart for that. I apologize. :D

women seldom want to hear the truth, but they're usually pretty good at knowing when they're not getting it.

somebody please make a note that I am not in the woman category irateplatypus spoke of in seldom wanting to hear the truth

I generally want to hear the truth, except when it belittles my partner. I am a pretty smart woman, and a lot of guys are intimidated by my intelligence. I hate hearing from a guy how much smarter I am than him (I had one boyfriend who did this constantly). That's not a compliment. I also don't want to hear that I'm prettier than your ex-girlfrriend--I don't want to be compared to the ex in any kind of way.

I want to be me, and I want them to see me for that, and compliment me based on that fact. I want them to say "You're beautiful" and mean it from the heart. I want them to tell me I'm weird with a laugh, because yeah, I am weird :) but then I want them to tell me it's okay because they're weird too.

I also don't really like compliments about my stomach--some guys like girls with bellies, and I have one, but I don't want to hear how much you love it. It's a part of my body I'm not comfortable with, so let's just not talk about it.

i think inundating a woman with compliments 24/7 takes away from the meaning of what u say. i think changing it and instead tell her how much her opinion means to you, how fun she is, how happy u are when ure with her etc. focusing just on the 'your beautiful' comments make its quite bland and distasteful.

as for johnny pyro..well blowing up at a girl for not knowing about the LA riots isnt a good way to treat ur gf obviously. the rodney king incident happened in about 1993 if i recall? assuming shes 20 now...she was about 8 years old. most kids were oblivious at that age

I felt bad after I said that because I also thought of that too, shes to young. My argument was, "Its history! They teach that in highschool!" She was really cute and young with very little intelligence and experience. She just knew how to look good,smell good and shop. I was on a diffrent level. Thats about it. Sex was a novelty. I was 23 and she was 18(senior in highschool :D ) I was very taken with her. It was like talking to a wall, but I liked the way she made me feel. It got old towards the end. I was a bit aggravated. I learned looks aren't everything. I guess I'm not as shallow as I thought I was. I just want a gir.....uh, Woman smarter than me. Not to get off subject.

I find that the truth works. I can't lie to her, for one, but even if I could I wouldn't.

*Cheesy sentimentality coming up*

When I look into her eyes and tell her how beautiful she is, she knows I mean it. I've never been able to fake that level of sincerity and I'm not sure anyone can. We've gotten to know each other well enough that she knows the look I give her when I want her body and I think she also takes it as a compliment that nearly a year in, I still get hard for her at a look and the smallest touch gives me goosebumps.

If I really want her to feel appreciated (which I nearly always do, because she is) I focus on details. Telling her she's beautiful is one thing, but it's sort of vague. So instead I'll say 'I love the way your eyes light up when you smile' or 'I can't keep myself from running my fingers through your hair, it's so beautiful and I always want to touch it'. Giving her specifics let's her know that I'm not just saying it because it's what's expected; I'm taking the time to really admire her and telling her the things I like most about her.

It's not always physical either. I told her several times how proud I was of her for going back to college and I tell her how great it is that she's doing the job she is (working with autistic children). I told her just the other day how great I think it is that I can discuss Hemingway or Dickens with her and I love that she can trump me on either one (although, in my defence, she is and english major).

Having said that, don't discount saying things like 'nice ass!' either. That seems to work in the right situation and after a certain comfort level is reached. While not one you want to bust out on the first date, after you've been with a girl for a while that sort of frankness is refreshing. I think it works because you're not trying to be smooth or get something from her, but rather just appreciating what's there for it's own sake.

In our case, I make all manner of comments about her physically because I think she deserves to feel as beautiful as she looks to me. She's never outright said it, but I think she's a bit insecure sometimes, because she has that sort of curvy body that I love but goes against the mainstream. I make it a point to compliment her in some fashion at least once per day, when I'm with her, although it's never forced.

I have found that complimenting a woman's sense of style will go a long way, especially if you know that she dressed up and made a concerted effort to look damn good. Example: "That top/blouse really compliments out your eyes." As simple as this statement is it can show a lot:

you noticed her shirt --> you noticed her eyes--> you used the ol noggin to put simple observations into a stream of coherent words that make someone else feel good --> by noticing her eyes, that means you are making eye contact, which is good --> eye contact shows interest --> women like men being interested in them --> women notice men who are interested in them

Also pay attention to detail. This may actually require a bit more work, but will work out better, in my opinion. During conversing with a woman who you are interested in, pay attention to what she says, what she does (actions & body language), and also what she is wearing (clothes and accessories). Obviously you can't just stare at her, so you have to be a little bit sneaky. Pay attention to the small things...shoes, nails, earrings & other jewelry, and hair. If you notice that one of the aforementioned objects just stands out, compliment her on it. It may have some sort of significance to her (i.e. a ring that my grandmother gave her) and she may tell you the story behind it. As mentioned before, the more a woman talks, the better her disposition and the better your chances.

Each woman is different, so take this one with a grain of salt.
But here are a few that I have enjoyed in the last year:

"Why are you so cute all the time?"

"That bookshelf in your room... that was one of the first things that impressed me about you: how insanely well-educated you are."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you look ravishingly beautiful when you're pumping gas."

"Why does it feel like I'm shopping for our daughter?" (clothes shopping for me - in context: I want your kids, and dang you're thin.)

My name, as he orgasms.

That's a really, really good one. Personally I like any time he gasps my name during sex. Yes, that's quite good.

Same here. Just please be gentle if you have constructive criticism to give.

A woman wants to HEAR that you are listening. I'm not saying we want to be the only ones to talk but when you respond during a conversation respond as though you have truely been listening. Don't just say "I'm listening". Don't PRETEND to listen. We WILL know and be hurt. If you won't listen or have a 50/50 conversation with us it makes us feel as though we don't matter much to you men.

some good ones i've gotten recently....

"you know what you said the other day about..... well, i was thinking about it some more and..."

"you really did/said/made that? that's awesome!"

"thanks for putting up with my friends."

"tell me more..."

and my favorite EVER--

"i've just really missed the feeling of your head laying right here" putting a hand over his heart.

there's something to be said for compliments, especially if they're acknowledging an accomplishment or something non-physical related, but i know i melt when he looks into my eyes and tucks my hair back and says "you look beautiful today". you've got it right, guys, when you talk about sincerity... that's what matters most. i'm impressed.