How long is too long to hope?
 

Ok on the 4th, Me and my girlfriend decided (well actually she decided) to take a break from things (but still remain friends) and see other people :( (I had told myself that I was going to wait for her, and not go looking) because she feels things are progressing too far towards marriage for our age... and she doesn't want to get married yet... Ok, so I go along with it thinking it is just one of her fits she has (she is Bipolar so it happens a lot). Ok, and I called her house to ask her to go out this weekend to help me pick out some new clothes, and I come to find out from her roommate she already has a date planned with another guy (She was working ATM and didn't tell me)...

So I was wondering, how long should I keep my hopes up that things will work out and she will come back? And If I should confront her abut the date, not angrily but just kinda protective like (You know the whole is he good enough for you thing), or should I try to coax her into telling me?

Any help would be much appreciated, I am open to feedback, please help me out...

too young for marriage? What ages are we talking here?

Going on a break has never seemed like a safe plan. When this option is brought up, it means the one doing the asking already has one foot out the door either already hooked up with someone or looking around. I would suggest that you talk with her and either get back together exclusivly or break it off cleanly. I do wish you the best of luck.

The Break indicates you are both not attached ... so theoretically from that moment she's choosing to do things for herself without your input. This is one of the risks that comes with the "taking a break". Calling would be overstepping the bounds you both seemingly agreed to, in my opinion.

I'm sorry to say this...truly I am....but if you've been dating a girl and she opts to take a break and then is already dating other guys...............all I can say is that if she was committed to you she wouldn't do this. I don't want to sound callous but I think she's done. Don't spend your time crying over a girl that you may love but who doesn't care for you in the same way. It's not worth it - trust me on this one.

Point in case.....if you are with someone that you care for and you have issues and you need a bit of time.....you don't start dating other people. That, to me, is a sure sign that she was (sorry) just being kind and she is still into playing the field.

I don't want to come off as the bitch here with my down attitude towards love but I think that if she cared for you and just wanted some breathing room - she wouldn't be dating other people.

done it.
not worth it.
it sucks.
find someone who's into you
and won't string you along like she's doing.

good luck.

From my experience, a break is the mark of a fundemental flaw in a realtionship and the actual break will not solve the flaw, avoiding things does not ever solve a problem. Even if after a break things are looking up, the problem will rear its head after sometime, it has happened to me. By not taknig the measures to comprimise and work something out for the realtionship the realtionship will crumble. i'd say don't count on this thing working if this break continues. Also, can you deal with her dating other guys? Will you ever trust her after that? Would it constantly make you paranoid and upset if you did get back together?

Hope, in a jungle prsion-cage can keep you alive and enable you to survice to create a future.

Hope, in a relationship in which one person has already divested themselves of most of the structures of unity (ie. going on a break) is fruitless, destructive, and almost never
worth it.

The trick is knowing when to recognize that your relationship is in this state.

if shes dating you should be too
at least go out and make yourself available. Talk to girls. Just throw yourself on the market. Don't go looking for a one night stand but go out and have a good time.

You'll be fine.

If she wants a break and already has a date planned.... she's already been talking to be people and probably ready to take it to the next level and doesent want to be "cheating" on you. She will come running back after its out of her system or it doesent work out. At that point it's up to you... right now.. go out have fun, and REALLY think if she tries comming back..

Like ruggerp11 stated, if she is dating, you should be too. As long as you don't pursue your own dating life during this "break," she knows she is safe (able to come back when she wants to). I've never been a fan of "let's take a break" b/c someone invariably gets upset that the other is doing what is agreed upon. Since you are already in that status, go out & have fun. This is a chance to see if what you had is what you really want (who knows, you might find someone better for you during this time). Also, when you start going out & living your own life, she might have second thoughts about this.

Just my $0.02

i'll stick with my first thought when i saw this title.

If you're asking this:
you're likely already wasting time.

let it go.

Even if you were to get back together now, you will *almost certainly* always have some nagging doubts about her committment to you. It's best to take whatever time you need to get over the breakup, and then move on with your life. I've been there, and done that. It's painful, but it's less painful than trying to keep alive a relationship with someone who is only committed when the wind blows in your direction. I've been there, and done that, too.

I think "going on a break" = "break up"

People like to make up reasons for why they should take a break.. but it is always about new pussy / dick.

She found someone new, she wanted him, she does the break because she doesn't want to burn bridges...

She might even beable to convince her self that she is the victom.

Yeah mine just wanted the whole break thing so i told her there's no such thing as a break. So we're over.

Sorry to say this, but this means she just does not love you. If she really did she would never want to be with other people. Don't be fooled and think things will work out. She told you she doesn't want to be with you, so it might be a good idea to move on and find real love. I promise it exists so there certainly is hope. You just cannot have low expectations for real love!
Good luck!

Dude...break out. That's your option.

I'd be willing to bet on her being dihonest twice in this story:

1) She already had been talking to this dude when she told you she "needed a break." She flat out lied to you about this. She didn't need a break....she needed to hook up with the new guy.

2) Her friend said she was "working" and you just didn't know about it. Please, this is one girlfriend covering for another. She wasn't working, she just didn't want to talk to you. Of course she'll deny this but she'll only be lying again.

Time to leave bro. It will not be worth it for you to try and keep her. Don't pay this emotional price as she'll only lose respect for and you will lose your own pride.

Walk away clean. Tell her it's over. If she loves you, she'll be begging you not to walk out.

Or, you can do it the hard way. Good luck.

move on... to hopefully bigger and better things....

Congratulations! You are now the back-up boyfriend. Whenever things go wrong in the world, or she needs someone, she can always count on you being there, waiting for her. She managed to change her relationship with you to one of mutual benefit to one that only benefits her if you continue to sit around.

I say you date one of her friends... you'll find out really fast if she really still does have feelings for you.

yah man, ive been on the losing end of this situation before....

i'll save you the details, but my advice is.... don't be a chump like i was.

As everyone has said...

When a girl says she wants to "see other people", she's been seeing him for a long time. She's just recently decided she'll probably want to have sex with him, and doesnt want to cheat.

Cut it off completely, dont talk to her ever again IMHO. I've been there, done that, and finally smartened up and left it. She'll end up calling you everytime she breaks up with a guy. Not for sex, but for sympathy and needing compliments. Then, when you're hooked back on her she'll find some other guy and the cycle will continue. She's doing this to feel good about herself, and to keep your interest hooked.

well 2 points i notices

1. shes trying to give you hope that there will be a get back together(which seems very unlikely). also shes putting you on the back bunner so whenever this other relationship shes having doesnt work out she can go back to you for some rebound to the rebound action, she might be using you as some one else said the"back up boyfriend" or fuck buddy and you'll be called upon until she finds someone else, and all that its going to do is hurt you more and give you false hope obviously if she cared about you she wouldnt do this

2. i also have dated a bi-polar girl(its not alot of fun, very stressful) and she was impossible to deal with, we broke up like 2 times a week but i was stupid and let her blame it on her "disorder" but i would just let it be dude get over it and get out there on the scene again

also how old are we talking for marriage because sometimes girls are weird about shit like that especially if there like freshman in college