J-Dubs

Ok, this is the first time I've really asked for some advice (of a personal and important nature) on this forum or any other for that matter.

Please forgive me if I get long winded.

Situation is, I broke up with my last girlfriend over a year ago and haven't dated another since. Yea I've been on a few dates, but nothings panned out beyond that. I haven't been in a hurry to find a relationship, but I've run into someone who has made we want to get back in the water so to say.

I've know this girl for a few years, I met her through some mutual friends and up until 2-3 weeks ago our relationship wasn't really anything more that seeing each other out and around town, saying hi and having a conversation to catch up and what not. I know over the time I've known her she has been in some relationships, but right now she isn't.

Ok now I'll cut to the chase. About 2 - 3 weeks ago I ran into her at a bar on Friday night, with her friend and we seemed to hit it off more so than the typical conversation. We hung out all night talking, laughing, having a good time (now I've always enjoyed talking with her), and even defending each other against weirdo girl in my case and a dumb ass guy in her case. Then ended going our separate ways later in the night, as usual.

Anyway the next morning I got a call from her and she wanted to see if I'd go to the dog park with her. I said yes and said I'd bring my Dobie Atticus, well right then on the phone she said she loved Dobermans and always wanted one. Also she loved hi name and said she would have named her Pit Bull Atticus if she was a he, but she ended up naming her Atta. Both of us got the name from the character Atticus Finch and I hope you'd know where it came from. So we met at the dog park and she was looking incredibly sexy, in a bikini top and the shortest black short shorts. I've always found her attractive, but this was above and beyond any thoughts I had before. We had fun talked joked and so on.

Over the next few weeks, we went to dinner, talked almost everyday, hung out on the 4th of July and all the good stuff. I enjoy just seeing her and talking with her, it's made these past few weeks incredibly awesome. We have a lot in common, we have the same sense of humor, friends, roots, morals, ideas, beliefs, and so much more. For one she rarely drinks if ever and I never have drank so that's a big hurdle that's cleared. My past girlfriends always felt bad to drink around me, even though I could give a shit about it. All my friends drink, heck I'm in the minority here when it comes to that I've been able to open up so easy to her and tell her things, I don't tell many people and things that have taken me quite a while to say to my last girlfriend or any I've had for that matter. She in turn has told me a lot too. She invited me to meet her brother and his girlfriend when they were in town for the day. Then the next night she called and left a message to call her ASAP, she had something to tell me. Well she told me that her brother proposed to his girlfriend and you know the rest.

I'm horrible at reading girls and their signals but, she'd always play with me, touch me on the leg, and hug me and other things. I didn't know how to read them and I'm horrible at sending signals in return. I've been fortunate to date girls that have been more the aggressor, so I knew they liked me. Well there is so much more I could say, but I'll get to the point (sorry).

Well on Monday (4th) after hanging out we both went on separate ways to other friends to show face and all. I'm very shy when talking to girls I like, but I can talk my ass of to anyone else. Well I kept thinking of a way to mention how much I liked her and if she'd like to take this to another level (not sexual, but it would be nice). Anyway after finally getting the balls to do so, I called her about 30 minutes after we parted on the 4th. I asked I could ask her a question. I told her, I very attracted to her, especially her personality. I said I loved how she is funny can take a joke, dish it out, I loved her strong will, independence, focus, kindness and the whole nine. On top of that I found her incredibly beautiful. I told her she's pretty much the female version of me personality wise and we just click (she really appreciated all I told her and was flattered I explained why I liked her not just saying I liked her.). She said she was thinking the same thing (about me being the male version of her) the other day and she also loved hanging out with me, loved my personality and thought I was attractive. She told the Saturday night (2nd) I ran into her at the bar she wished she could have left with me. She was out for a friend birthday and her friend and her got into it. Plus when I was talking to her she had a guy friend with her and he was trying to rub her hand and leg and she was pulling away, then hugged me and whispered that she needs to get away from this guy. So she said goodbye and went inside and I went home. Well at this point and after her some other stuff she said I'm thinking I finally lucked out and we could see each other more.

Well then she told me she's not ready for a relationship, she has been hurt pretty bad by her last 2 boyfriends and is emotionally and mentally not ready, but physically she said hell yes she is. She had told me about the last 2 guys and what happened, her last breakup was in March. I can understand that, I've been there before. She's always been straight up with me so I believe her. I told her, I could say I'm not like the other guys, which she's heard, but I won't. I can only show her by what I do. I can't make her make her mind up right away, or change her mind. I said I can be there if she needed anything still and I'd still like to hang out with her until she was ready to make a decision be it yay or nay.

Well she said she'd call later that night and I haven't heard from her since. I just hope I didn't put her is a peculiar situation or hurt her by bringing this to the forefront and making her emotions more confused. I really do like her I've never met someone that it clicked like this before. I don't force relationships, if I don't get a vibe when I meet you or on the first few dates, I move on. But this is different.

I was wondering what my next move should be, she said on the phone she didn't want this to make things awkward for us and still wanted to talk and what not. I said I'd be the same or person she knows and if she wanted to date, great, if not I'd like to know because I don't want to pursue it anymore and lose a friend. Anyway I wonder what to do and how someone else would read into this situation.

robot_parade

Well, she likes you, that much is obvious. There could be lots of reasons why she didn't call you back, including maybe she's just confused. It's very cool that you told her how you feel, and she responded so positively. I'd say, call her up and ask her if she wants to go 'do something'. Something casual, fun. I'd just take it easy from there. You've made it clear how you feel, she's made it clear she reciprocates, but isn't ready for 'serious' yet. So for now, keep it fun, casual and friendly. I think it's ok to do things remind her that you want her as 'more than a friend', just don't go overboard with it.

FlatLand Flyer

Call her up and ask her to go to the dog park again.

ruggerp11

yea don't dwell on what happened. get back on the horse.

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cas305

Well were is the update on what happened, I would of hoped you have called her by now. She sounds like a great person and you better not give up even if it is just having her as a friend.

hossified

def you call her and just see what's up. Say exactly what you said here, that you didn't want to bring up old memories for her, or make her confused...and that you just want to hang. Cripes even sounds like she wants to romp a bit without the hangups of a relationship....perfect!!!.....take her to the bar, have some drinks and than go back and slam!

J-Dubs

We'll first off I'd like to that those who responded for the advice, it's much appreciated.

Update: I called her last night and left a message asking her what's been up, how she's been and to call me. Well she called today and we talked for a while (well as long as I could being at work and all). Anyway she seemed like everything was fine, I asked her she said she was flattered by what I said. I apologized for not doing it in person and over the phone. She said it's cool she understands. I said I'm still feel the same way obviously and would still like to hang out and talk. She said of course and she'd expect me to stay in touch and hang out.

She actually told me a guy she'd met on a Win A Date Wednesday from the local radio station a month or 2 back also approached her and said he also liked her. She told me what she told himwas different and felt there was no chemistry between them. Which is cool to hear since she has other guys interested and she said she isn't interested, but she never told me that So I'm still in and like someone said just play it cool which I will do the same old stuff I've done before and hope for the best.

She's gonna be busy this weekend she works and then is going to have to study early next week because she's going to see her parents Thursday to Sunday of next week and has a test the Monday when she is back. (Sucks for her ) But I'll see if she wants to get a bite maybe next week, if not I'll wait.

I asked earlier about date options in another thread, but I'm thinking about taking her to a comdey show, she is a comedian in her own right (or so she likes to think). So I think she'll like it.

Anyway thanks for the help gals and guys.