b'day idea a bit too much?
 

Hi, I don't know if this should go here

Anyways, special person that I know is gonna have a birthday
(rather not jinx it by referring to her as a friend :P)

So the thing is, the initial plan was to get her to dinner. Plan it with the restaurant staff a day before that it's her b'day (it's quite a small restaurant and I have spoken to the people there before) and perhaps make something happen (like a cake and a song perhaps?)

Friend tells me it's a bit too much. That she's not my wife and I should indeed act my age.

I feel that he is right.

Of course, after dinner, there would be presents, which would be necessary (duh).


Should this go in sexuality? This sounds kinda silly anyway :) but thanks for reading, and possibly helping? :)

I don't get it. Act what age? If she is worth the thought, she's worth the effort. Tell friends to mind their own buisness and on with the party!!!

It really dpends on the individual. Some people might take that in good humour, others would be mortified. Don't worry about other people telling you it's a bit much, just think about how she's likely to react. If you think she'd enjoy, go to town.

ost restaurants will readily accomodate you on that sort of thing.. just go in a few hours prior and explain what's going on to the manager.

... well, if she's not your gf, it may make her uncomfortable.

hmmm yeah...

and i'm beginning to think so too :)

so i'd rather not?

so i would be totally screwing it up, or totally scoring some points?


:) hahaa...~ oh well, not gonna make it too extravagant then

If she thinks you're trying to score she might take it bad - but if she's a mate, she'll laugh it up.

Just how lighteared and camp is your friendship?

You know your relationship with this girl. If you think she'd appreciate it, go for it. It shows you care to take the time to go through everything to set it up. On the other hand, if she'd get shy when it happens, it probably isn't a good idea.

I think you'd get points for remembering her birthday and for making her feel special on that day... Cake among friends is nice, cake and a song at a restuarant - I'd rather crawl under the table and die - -but that's just me.... I hate attention)

How many people would be goingto this restaurant? Just you and her? If that's the case it might be a bit much too soon.. but if you've got a group, then I think it's be OK

Dude... you say she's not your girlfriend, but you're going out of your way to set this up.

My question is: How do you feel about her?

Also... how does she feel about you?

If you're looking to take the next step and perhaps trying to see where the relationship may go, then you should go for it.

If she's really just a friend, then it depends on how she would react. If she the type that would find it funny and cute, then go for it.

Other than that... don't do it.

i think it's sweet. A personalized cake delivered from the kitchen, so she knows you went to a little trouble. I don't think it's too much; it's not like you're renting the entire restaurant for a dinner for just the two of you. It would be a good way to show her how you feel. :)
It's way better than a silly fish of your head at McGrath's...

Like most have said, if she's the outgoing type and likes attention, you should lavish her with this little "birthday" song and dance treat.

However, if she is shy or doesn't like public shows of affection, she may be a little upset. Then again, if she is a genuinely nice person, she'll remember that it's the thought that counts.

If it's a small restaurant with a small amount of people, she probably won't be too embarassed if she's shy, anyway.

itchvaccine, remember that every person is different and has different preferences. We don't know this special girl- only you do. Keep her personality (which I hope you've paid attention to) in mind when you make your decision whether to go for it or not.

I think, if she agrees to go out to dinner with you on her birthday. Then you are in.
And some chocolote cake and vanilla icecream would be a good idea.

Indeed, if she goes out with you on HER birthday, then I'm thinking she's (a) interested or (b) out of touch with her other friends that would plan to be with her. Let's assume (a).

But if the idea is to wine her, dine her, cake her, and make her, I'm guessing the whole thing will come off as calculated to get into her pants.

Do you have an idea about how she feels about you?

We can only speculate. Trust in yourself and your own feelings. You yourself can most likely make a better judgement of this situation.

After all this reading... I feel it's best I cut out the extravagance (the cake that is..)

For one thing, it would cost more :) and I'm studying, not working, so ... boom goes the pocket. Moreover a dinner and present would already set me back quite a lot.

I feel that it would freak her out, or at least not suite the relationship at the moment. So I'd rather just have dinner and presents :) picturing myself in her position, I would be dumbfounded and shocked, not in a good way. Haha.

Thanks loads for the advice. It was of great help.

go all out man! Life is too short . . . live it up :)

I think what you are planning is appropriate and your girl is going to love it :)

Sweetpea

Well if it isn't too late, you should be thinking cupcakes.

For a girl, I once got a pack of those hostess chocolote cupcakes, it comes with two in a pack. and two candles. Quick and easy to throw up anywhere.

It is still sweet, shows your thought, doesn't hurt your wallet, and doesn't come off as crazy.

Go for it. I think it seems like you want to do it and you'll be happier if you do it.

huh? act your age? the best birthday i ever had was when a "close friend" brought me to chucky cheese's and let me run wild...i dont get why everyone should "act thier age" ....*goes off and rambles*

LoL, he means act younger, not older

the problem, Miss Pea, is that it seems that she is not his girl, but rather a girl that he is interested in.

and as such, I stand by my answer that the chances of making her uncomfortable are just too great, not worth it.

(ps) itch vaccine, you know we will be expecting a follow-up after her birthday ;)

oh? you will? I'll keep you posted then, her b'day's on the 17th, so we're out on the 16th :)

Check back on the 17th :) Till then, wish me luck :)

I think a card and a small cake would be safe. There's nothing wrong with giving a friend something little.

A restaurant surprise would probably be a little overboard though. She'll either really love it or really freak.

For the benefit of Sin :)

Well took her to dinner, she likes it. Says the place is nice and all, and she gets to try new things with me, cos apparently she doesn't go to dinners much (not this kind). To her, I am fun.

So we go to the park in KLCC (I'm Malaysian, yes)... and we go off. Then we go off to some place, where there's this nice scenery.

And I stop there, in the car, we chatted and stuff. She then realises her bracelet she received from her friend is missing. Alright, so her dad calls and she has to get home (curfew).

Okay.. so here's the thing, I drive back home, and I find the bracelet. On it was a heart, with some guy's face and her, behind the heart it was [Guy's name] [heart (signifying "love")] [her name]

So I call her up, ask her if she wants it back today, she says "Oh shit, please, yes".. drive back and give it to her. She comes into the car, and pours out some explanation.

She tell me this is the guy she was "seeing".. apparently she didn't make it sound like she was seeing him seriously when she told me. She made it sound like they weren't serious. As in.. I was told, but made known to him as "competition". Alright.. so then, "can't you stop seeing him then?" .. reply is : "We go to the same class" ...

"So you're seeing him .. and seeing me?" ... --speechless- -

Then she tells me, parents dissaprove of him and stuff, it won't go on.

And here's the part that gets me : she tells me "I don't want this, to get in our way, as I feel as can move on further.. [as in get closer than just "friends"]"

So I'm confused. What should I do. What's appropriate...?

You can try to push the issue, but it sounds like she really needs to decide who she wants in her life. Does the current boyfriend know you are in the picture?

She has a boyfriend, and she wears a personalized bracelet signaling their devotion, but you're the one who took her out to a birthday dinner... Back away very slowly.

So you are the nice guy that her parents approve of? In other words- you could be the beard for her to go out and see the one her parents disapprove of whenever she wants.

you are worth more than that...

The other guy doesn't have a car :) So I'm driving usually. Doubt I'm used in that way mal.

Well, she didn't exactly put on the bracelet. She must have had it in her pants (pocket?) and it slipped out while she lowered her passanger seat in the car. Lucky me perhaps?

I don't think so at all.

--------->

anyways, after the incident, 2 days of thinking, I am gonna ask her what she wants. And that I'll still be a friend (probably just a distant one). Uncertain of what should happen, will keep you guys informed after I call her up. Which would be... another 2 days of thinking I think.

This incident, by the way, puts her in a place where she wants to choose. Of course, everyone wants to be on the choosing end. And as hard it is for me, this is the SECOND time I am the choosee, not the chooser (although I wouldn't like it to happen).

Love, is like a glue which bonds 2 objects. When they are seperated, one leaves with the remnants of the other, and the other however, is left broken.

I remain on the broken end today.

Good luck.

Self respect dictates to me that I cannot step on anoter guy's toes - that said, if she's on her way out of the relationship, then go for it.

But ONLY after she's told him it's over.

Just spoken to her.

Apparently her guy is of another race, a lot of complications from parents and all. She says she hasn't ended it because she still has feelings for him :\ but it will end soon because she feels it won't work out

I'm like stuck in between so I'm stumped. :\ Anyways, we remain as close friends and I promised to put this behind me.

We'll see how it goes from here :)

itch, stumbled across this old post but I can totally relate to this situation. I was an extra in my past "relationship". Consider yourself lucky that you found the bracelet earlier. In my case, I was in this love game for close to a year! Anyway, I have since found new love and it's going to our 2nd year anniversary together. Good luck! ;)

Heh, what a way to BUMP up this post

I'm with someone else now anyway. Been 6+ months :)

Run away, run like the wind. ;) This stuff rarely works out very well for so many reasons. She's seeing someone else.

Edit: Ooops, old thread.

I know this is old and long since resolved, but I wanted to tell you how insightful I thought this sentence is. I actually copied it and saved it to my list of quotes I keep around.

Bittersweet

Exactly why this old post caught my attention ;)

Haha, thanks Sultana and Brendy, but really, we have to let this post die together with all the old old posts that no one is keeping track of anymore.

Ha ha I was gonna tell you to abandon ship and it looks like it happened anyway. Glad it worked out for ya!