What 'type' do you attract.
 

I was thinking about this recently. It occured to me that the type of girls i attract usually are of a similar kind. I dont mean to categorise here, but just make some sense of it all.
The type that usually go for me are 'nice' girls, never 'bad' girls. These girls are quietly interesting and are generally pretty wholesome in character.
I dont attract psychos often, and nor the type of girl who cheats on her boyfriend and has sex with the whole football team. This is what i have noticed.

As a rule, I tend to attract girls with emotional problems. I am the type of person that feels best when people around me are happy, and I work really hard to make that happen. I don't know why, but it seems like every girl I've gotten into a serious relationship with has told me later that she was abused or raped and I made them feel safe and comfortable. It kinda makes me feel good that anyone can be comfortable around me, but none of these relationships have worked out, and its usually because of their emotional difficulties.

i tend to attract people that are emotionally abusive and manipulative. i'm out of that cycle now though. :)

I've attracted guys that seem to want to 'take care of me', but to the extent that I could no longer be independant. Thankfully I seem to have overcome this now :)

I seem to attract intelligent, unconventional guys who have tons of respect for me but don't do a lot of caretaking or gift-giving. I guess they like the idea of being with an independent woman but I'd like just a little bit of the mushy stuff every now and then... :(

Oh, and they like cats. If they didn't when we met, they are cat fans by the time I get through with them.

Imaginary women :|

Maybe when I get out more . . .

but when younger I only noticed the interest of those who were unattractive to me - and those times were few. There were 2 notable exceptions to this rule; the one I married, the other bedded me for my first time :crazy:

in the past 20 odd years since the only 2 times I really noticed an interest were at dances - I went home with the wife and within a few months each of those ladies left their spouses. I'm not sure of what to make of that fact :hmm:

I am pretty sure that I am oblivious to the obvious in some ways. I wonder if I just don't know how to read the "signals" unless the ladie basicly presses herself to my thigh :rolleyes:

Let's see-- inthe past 15 years --it's all been whiney types who haven't cut the apron strings to momma.

ooooh :o so I'd better be careful if I feel the urge to wink at women in airports :lol:

I haven't attract many people thusfar, but the few I have attracted (and this could include friends, as well) tended to be people who never had time for me or who couldn't be bothered to try and spend time with me. I was the only one who made an effort to keep the "relationship"/friendship going.

I tend to attract all types of men, except for meatheads. I don't try to attract those :) Lately, I've been on a computer nerd kick. I think it's because of where I work.

i tend to attract those who are emotionally "clingy" or tend to have some similar problems

I honestly attract all types. Most common would probably young girls who are most of the time immature, on top of being too young for me. Been a few that haven't been. I also seem to attract girls who are taken as well. Why I do not know. Thats annoying. Thus I wander alone. Oh well.

Asta!!

I attract....um....er....*searching...*

Okay not very many people, but the few that I do are usually at least semi-emotionaly unstable. Of course, then after I help them with whatever it is, they suddenly have other things to do...or maybe I'm just bitter. :hmm:

Protectors who want me like a child wants a kitten.

I used to attract women who felt they could 'control' me. I've since grown enough of a backbone that I, generally, tend to keep those away now. Actually, it's kind of strange... Now I don't know what kind of women I attract.

However, I pretty consistantly attract all manner of guys. That's pretty cool for meeting new people, for good and bad.

Witches....they all seem to be witches

Prefer the term 'Warlock,' pal.

I attract all types because I am irresistable.

All of my ex's except for one were/haved turned into drug dealers. I guess that's the type I attract.

Beware (streak_56)

;)

I've attracted many different types of people... .so I'll go with what was attracted to me and at what stages....

At first it was just abused people, mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually. I don't know what it was about me that attracted them but it happened. Never really got with anyone like that. I needed someone who was strong.

Next it was people who made me feel better about myself. This was at a time that I felt like crap and I needed that boost of self esteem. As selfish as that sounds, it happened and this was probably the worst that has happened to me.

And last, it was girls who would abuse me. Take advantage of me, take all I had and then just lie. Basically it was just kicking me all around, everyday. It hurt not just physically but emotionally as well. But it made me a strong person, made me fight for myself.

Alas my end, I 'attracted' someone because of my blue eyes. It started from there and blossomed. It's a beautiful friendship, love and person that I love right now. And I couldn't be happier with where I have started and where I am going....

I think I attract girls who spend a lot of time in the library and make all their homework on time. I believe that because that's how I am... :lol:

I find that I attract much older men. And by older I mean at least 30 years older than myself. I don't know why this is. I want guys my age to find me attractive!! I'm sure they do, but the older men seem to convey what they think while the others remain silent.

I also used to attract guys who were manipulative, controlling, jealous and emotionally unstable. I felt that I could help them. I have given up on these types and found a computer nerd.

I don't really know what types I attact. As far as I know, and I'm pretty thick (as in I can't tell when a girl is interested, just ask my gf), only 6 girls have been interested in me. In fact, I didn't even know one of them was interested in me at all until she confessed after I got together with my current gf. All of them have been smart and independent. I just wish I had a clue as to when the ladies were interested.

^ Man can I relate to that. I would have had so many girlfriends right now if they'd just let me know how they feel. I've only ever had one :(

Asta!!

I have attracted many different types... but all seem to have had one wonderful personality trait in common-- immaturity. :rolleyes:


I think it has to do with the fact that I wasn't necessarily on my way to "growing up" either, but when I finally was, ugh... I'm glad I left them to their trivial lives.

That sounds as though I had many at one time. I really didn't.

Fortunately, I am with someone now who even surpasses my maturity level.
I am a lucky woman, finally. :D

I attract all different kinds of folks. Depends on who's into a girl with a pin-up body and sexual confidence. I've gotten just about every kind of guy you can imagine asking me for a date.

Well as far as being asked out on a date, being asked for my phone number, being asked for my name, a smile, or to show someone my tits, being asked to marry someone or being asked for a blow job, yeah - all kinds. Whether they want to stick around after making my acquaintance is another matter.

^ I'd stick around! :thumbsup:

Asta!!

No idea why, but the MILFs seems to be stalking me!

Crazy women.
I am being truthful, unless the women is crazy, she doesn't see me.

It is something I am doing, or...
I am starting to think, all women are crazy.

It's kind of odd, but I have noticed that I tend to get mildly neurotic women whose dads are a bit on the heavyset side. Every one of them that I have met has made me say to myself, "me in 30 years." Fortunately, the women have all been ever so slightly kinky, and signifiantly horny.

You're supposed to attract them?


I'm pretty oblivious to any attraction other than my own. My wife tells me me she had to practicly whack me over the head to get my attention.

I attract insecure girls who seem leave after years of therapy and guidence from me. I have never had a short term relationship. On the other hand I'm attracted to girls who have their shit together but would rather be with some meathead asshole.

Earlier in my life. I attract extremely religous girls. This caused problems later on with me being a spritualist and them wanting me to be more Christian. That was most of my previous girlfriends.

My last GF was the type of girl that I am attracted too, but that went sour after a year.

Now, I don't attract anything. I think I might have turned off my sexuality or something.

I attract the girls who need me to 'save' them.

Usually it's 'save' me from this horrible, horrible boyfriend and the subsequent horrible, horrible relationship, but that's not always the case. A girl in high school wanted to move in with me to get away from her parents. A girl I used to work with blamed me for her lapsing faith when confronted by her dad. He actually came to my apartment and accused me of being 'sinful.' He also threatened to whoop my ass if I didn't keep away from his daughter. Another woman I had been seeing off and on wanted to 'take the relationship to a new level' (move in together) after she got kicked out of her apartment by her roommate. Kicked out for...wait for it....blowing all her money on stupid shit and leaving none for the bills.

Ahhh, L'Amour

I attract girls with self confidence issues. Ones that feel they aren't worth much, so they lowball when it comes to date and mate selection. I'm only half joking.

i attrack girls that think i have potential. girls seem to think im a lost little boy waiting for them to show me direction. little do they know im a pot smoking beach hippy who is set im his simple ways.

my current girl says i was doing ok before her but now im doing great....lol...ok.

I'm pretty lucky in this reguard.

I tend to attract independent yet willing to let the man lead types.

They also tend to be super horny and sexually adventureous.

win, win, win.

I attract any kind of girl I see that I decide I want to....

it's always in your hands, not in theirs.

All types. Geeky, shy, self-confident, insecure, etc.

Somehow, I manage to attract every girl that I am not interested in. :(

I've found that I attract a lot of girls with self confidence issues who use me as a stepping stone to a seemingly "better" state of existence. A lot of my ex girlfriends were first attracted to me because I was the "nice guy" and they felt safe with me. After being with me for several months, during which I tried to make them feel better about themselves, they would leave me without so much as a thank you. As sad as this sounds, I can't seem to break myself out of this cycle, as it looks like it's happening all over again right now with my current girlfriend.

Quit being nice.

Seriously.

When women know they can have you they look for something better.

Don't be a cock, but just keep her feeling a bit insecure. She will work to keep you interested in her, instead of the other way around.

I don't attract women at all. It's kinda of odd, really.

I tend to attract either very geeky guys, or very musically talented guys. Never the "popular" ones, but the guys that are smart and sweet.

All of the girls I've attracted have been kind of gothy or geeky... except for Sharlene. God I miss Sharlene. She was by far the hottest... *sigh*

I end up getting the sweat covered pale as bone nerd, the kind of guy who views me as a novelty because I love to LAN, and then promptly reminds me to get my butt back in the kitchen.

Thankfully, I've broken the cycle of getting closet sexists.

I don't recall...it's been a long time since I was hit on. Probably because of the ring on my finger.....

Codependants... seriousally :(

When I my ego was more inflated I would attract a few pretty girls that I was mutually interested in. Then I tried asking one of them out, and that totally blew up in my face...destroying whatever ego was there. Now that the ego has been decimated, I only get noticed by monsterously obese, semi-psychotic chicks. This does not help the ego any.

As far as I attract any girl at all, I seem to attract girls who are out of sync with reality somehow... not bad enough to need a shrink, but enough to make you go "Ummm... okay" a lot when talking to them.

I guess that's because I'm pretty much the same...
Don't you DARE say "Ummm... okay" now....

I nearly said "umm....okay," but decided against it.

Ha-ha! I'm probably the only person who got that! (You have very good Viewing tastes Guthmund)

I attract Asians, and short 'well built' chicks. But not what I want.

So you advocate playing mind games with women? Ustwo Ustwo Ustwo... Don't you know how much trouble that causes in the long run? What kind of bad reputation women have for playing said mind games...

:cries:

Ooooh I loathe mind games

Asta!!

Don't blame me for the female mind.

Most women don't want nice guys they want strong guys, alpha males if you will.

Took me until I was 20 to figure that out. Once I did I went from short term relationships and hookups, to dating three 'quailty' women at the same time. I ended up marrying one of them and we have been together for the last 13 years.

I could, as usual, go into my genetic theories on this, but the implication is pretty clear.

I've heard this same lament from many guys, be it on message boards or in person, and my advice is sound. I would say it causes no trouble in the long run, because as time passes you can be as attentive as you want, but durring that inital courtship phase, you need to prove to the woman you are worth persuing. If only I knew this when I was 16 :p

Lack of a backbone is just --- :shudders: no one wants that... (they all tend to show up at my doorstep) Nice guys can be strong guys - nice doesn't equal lack of a backbone... Nice is not a derogatory term (though it seems as it is these days)

Keeping someone a little insecure is not being a strong guy, it's still playing a mind game, and that's wrong (in my opinion)... I'm not seeing it any differently than women who use tears as a means to get what they want.

Maybe you and mrs ustwo have been married for 13 years because she was finally the right woman, and well she likes ya for you.. .Not because you keep her feeling a little insecure and wants to do stuff to keep you interested... :)

Mmmmm perhaps I need to be more clear by what I mean by 'insecure'.

What I mean is that the women should not be allowed to feel that she 'has' you 100%. The male must project to her that while he likes her, if she leaves he will get by just fine, and perhaps he is still looking. Is this a mind game? Sure, but I think it is needed as sex is a mind game, involving factors that are as old as life itself.

When I say stop being nice, what I mean is stop putting her as your number 1 priority. It doesn't mean do mean things but when guys think 'nice' they tend to be almost like supplicants (your no-backbone types).

This is really about plain old self confidence. You have to realize you have something to offer women even if you are not the 'pretty boy' type and that its as much about them deserving you as you deserving them.

I've spoken to several women about this and the reactions have been kinda funny at times. My favorite was when I was in a group of men and women, (was in my early 20's at the time) and the two women of course said I was wrong. Then after words one of them comes up and tells me I'm 100% correct but she didn't want to say it in front of the other guys and give them the wrong impression. Most do tend to agree but I'm sure its a point I make better in person than in text form.

Edit:Speeling

The Rebel I think had a pretty good handle on what attracted women, I think. Anyway...

I have to agree with maleficient on this. I've no trouble with women and I'm not a mean guy by any indication. Granted I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder, but I don't qualify that as being mean.

I've also had no problem attracting other women. I think what it takes is more confidence than anythign else, something I have in spades. I know who I am, I know my strengths and weaknesses and I have no problem in believing I can do something. If you're sure enough about something the other party will buy into it too. It's true in sales and also in dating, except in dating the thing you need to be sure about is yourself.

Or that's my experience, anyway. It's worked for me.

EDIT - Gotta love the quoting system here. I had no idea James Dean hung out at TFP.

Exactly my situation...and stiLL is.....

siGhz.. i always worry him, no matter what i do, and where.. ....something like being overprotective i think.... :hmm:

I agree with Ustwo in that whether you are male or female, if you lock onto somebody with the "you are my world" mentality it becomes unattractive. There is nothing wrong maintaining individual interests, individual opinions, and a regard for yourself that supersedes the relationship. Letting somebody know that you worthy and desirable inside or outside of the relationship keeps SO's from taking each other for granted.

I imagine in 13 years together, Ustwo's wife must display a bit of this as well, which is not a "mind game" but rather self confidence.

I'm with Irishsean on this one... I attract all the girls with emotional problems... and it usually goes really well, untill I'm in a bad way, and I need help through a problem. At that point i realize they arent there for me and can't be bothered with my problems... Then get fed up, try to break up with them and then they proceede to turn into psychos who want to commit suicide, and tell me I'm just like every other guy they have dated... Even my fiance now... she has been abused by her last b/f and has put her emotional security in her dog... but...shes changing.... and always there for me when I need her.

Intelligent, artistic, beautiful, heroic, strong, well-rounded, stimulating and sexy, adorable, hot, sweet, romantic, love-of-my-life, my husband.

That's who... :)

in my teen years I unfortunately seemed to attract all the weird, nerdy, semi-genius types and it was very scary.

After that I have attracted mainly intelligent, nice, good-looking, medium-built guys who make friends easily and are generally independent and driven, and have a few family troubles usually, but who despite being loving are lacking in the romance department at times...which is a minor flaw I deal with. All in all I think I'm doing alright.

while somewhat reserved... i have a very strong personality (read: decisive and independent) with a (too?) caustic wit. add a mild shade of sexism and chivalrous upbringing and you'll see that i'm to feminist-types as kryptonite is to superman. if any of those women are initially attracted to me, the illusion soon passes.

i often attract women who like 'strong' men. they are often demure and traditional, at least when around me.

they are usually very pretty, but seldom the stunning turn-your-head-as-they-walk-by sort. those girls tend to expect people to take more crap from them than i will take.

i know i sound like a bit of a jerk. to be sure, i am sometimes. you'd like me though, really.

I... attract... girls?

That would be something new.

So I guess it's the nonexistant ones. Le sigh.

Don't sell yourself short, man. You sound like a huge jerk.

We all love you anyway. :D

Due to a lack of effort, I have not been attracting much of anyone lately. Maybe I'll try if anyone at school catches my eye this coming semester.

I'm with MrSelfDestruct on this one. It's been over a year since i've even been on a date. :(

But before that...
All the girls i've been with have had completely and utterly differant personalities, and can't really think of any similarities in that department. But strangely enough, all of them have had red/dirty blonde hair, freckles, and have been pretty short.

Maybe that just the type you're attracted to?

I went through high school happily oblivious to the fact that a large number of the girls in my class seemed to find me rather attractive. The ones I noticed were the ones I was attracted to; I was too young and ignorant to realize that anyone else was attracted to me as well.

most of my girlfriends have been kind of similar in personality, but i can't really put a finger on their type, per se.

Immature psychos. And one lesbian. She was the end of me. Altho, it did get kind of confusing for our friends, as noone thought that it would, um, "work."

when i look really nice, i attract nice-looking jerks, which really frustrates me. as far as my personality goes, i attract nerds (which are cool!) and creeps (not so cool), but its hard to convince anyone to date me really, lol! usually as people start to find out more about me, they start to not like me as much and they dump me. oh well.

as far as physical attributes, i attract brown haired, brown eyed guys, which doesn't bother me a bit cuz i sorta have a thing for brown eyes ;)

^ (have brown eyes)

Same as todd and Mr. SelfDis. Need to get out more. But for a time, I'd get social out casts and depressed girls. Lately, well... There's this gal in the office next to me...

i attract the shallow materialistic girls for some reason and they also seem to be short as well and i am a tall guy

That's a good question!

I have never really paid that much attention to what type of girls i attract, I do know though..They have always been brunnette's, Good personality's, Love to have fun, Not into themselves..

I'm more attracted to older girls, But i attract girls who are usually about 5 years younger than me.

Most girls that have been attracted to me have been just a bit too explicit about wanting to get physical. Subsequently I decided that they were not suitable candidates for a relationship.

Those that have expressed no interest - well who knows what they think. I don't talk to them much. When I do, they seem to get the impression that I'm trying to bed them.

: >

I wish I had ALMOSTAUGUST's problem
 

Nothing but psychos here, psychos-R-us. I have not had a single 'normal' g-friend. All are on a steady dose of baggage and remorse. I become this knight in shinning armor to the tune of lifting them out of the mess they never seem to be able to figure out how they got themselves into. And it seem to extend past g-friends, my reg friends both male and female it seems i am always bailing them out of this or that, its tough but rerwarding. Somthes you might be glad for the type you do have AUGUST. its not greenier on this side of the pasture. lol.

I get the sense that the women who are attracted to me are also intimidated by me. I'm kinda difficult to get to know, If you were to look at me, I'd prob emit a vibe that says, "Fuck off, I don't need you". So the kind I attract are women who are terribly interested in my mystery. Curious, stubborn, unqiue girls.

Before I met hubby it seemed like I attracted mostly bad boys. I know I have a strong personality, I am extremely outgoing and willing to step out first to do things. I think this intimidated a lot of the "nice" guys. I've been told (and I'm glad to hear it. lol) that I exude a certain sexuality though not overt. In the religious circles that I ran in a sexual undertone is feared by many guys so I attracted very few of those.

Now that hubby and I swing I tend to attract a lot of guys, young and old. Many seem like a badboy type. But then again in a swinger lifestyle, many of the participants are risk takers in the first place.

My first boyfriend was an abuser but my second was actually quite submissive in a way. So I find it hard to catagorize the kind that I find.

I know that "type" in the context of this thread is referring to personality rather than race, but I seem to get a disproportionate amount of attention from Asian and hispanic women. Personality-wise, I seem to get all types: nice, not nice, liberal, conservative, apolitical, intellectual, non-intellectual, etc.

As my job requires it, I have to talk to pretty much individual that comes into the store. Unfortunately, many people see this as me hitting on them and consequently, I get all sorts of people somewhat interested in me. I don’t even know why, I’m not even attractive heh.

Out of the work environment, I seem to attract girls with just as many issues as me. The last girl for example, has the biggest drinking problem in that she drinks to the point of passing out EVERY night.

Hmmm...this is tough. The guys I've dated have been very different personalitywise. The one thing though that they tend to have in common is that they're sensitive. I don't exactly know how to explain it. They're also a good 6 inches taller than me, so physically I guess tall guys are attracted to me. I'm rather small, so I guess I attract the kind of guy that wants to feel like he's protecting a girl.

Dumb, young sluts with nothing interesting to say :|

A real mixed bag at this end.

Look I tend to exclude women who are too ambiguous from my scope. I have other things to do than mess around trying to figure a woman out. And I've avoided getting to know anyone who's clearly drunk, very young, in another relationship, chatting with all the guys or a crappy conversationalist.

And having done that... yeah it's still a mixed bag. Overall I'd say that I've rarely met shy girls. My theory is that they shy girls often end up besotted with the dedicated players at least in their first few relationships. And ditto I think for the guys... if we're not particularly outgoing or "competitive" in conversation at parties - we tend to get more hookups with "experienced" or relatively outgoing women. That's in the initial adult years.

Just a theory.

Oh, fun question. Half the value of these forums is the conversational ideas i carry with me to the people i meet "offline".

Girls that have talked with me a bit refer to me as "fun, crazy, naughty, mean, sweet, and romantic". I flirt and tease alot, so seem to attract a number of different types, but usually they are academics, artists, attention-starved girlfriends (have attracted alot of those the last few years, which is flattering but troublesome), wolves in sheep's clothing, and/or girls looking for stability. The ones I go for are usually "good girls" who enjoy flaunting their naughty sides, and who have sharp minds, plus are fun loving.

I used to attract the Women In Black. Eventually married one. I was rarely a MIB, but the WIB's just seemed to like me. Maybe I was more MIB than I thought I was...

I don't attract women. I repel women. Maybe I need to change my deoderant. :D

i attract nerds. Engineers to be exact. and i love that because theyre sweet, intellegent, and dont play games. i can happily handle that.

...
 

That's because I don't live near you! ;)

I usually attract men who want to boink - and then bounce. I want the 'nerdy' type. There are two reasons I never attract the "right" type. 1. Is because nerds are too intimidated to come up to me. 2. Is because nerds (somewhat intellegent people)(I live on Stanford campus) assume that an attractive female most likely won't have anything in her head except for air. :|

Gimme a chance guys! :confused:

I'm tired of the people who have never put any thought into the reason for life, living, speaking correctly, spirituality, religion, politics, music, love, etc.
Can you believe I have met people who have never considered those things! :rolleyes:
______________
I'm just about to give up!

I never really thought I attracted women....and still don't really. If pressed to choose it would be those who have been screwed over by bastard guys in the past. I consider myself a very "nice" guy and I actually care about the people themselves.

Though I don't know what level of attraction ever existed there, these are the girls that seem to always say things along the lines of "Why can't I meet someone more like you".

I think its cause I listen.

I don't really attract women either.

Most of the time I say to myself, "I want to date her." And then I either do or I go down in flames (usually the latter). Girls never come up to me or let it be known that they are attracted to me.

I tend to attract the 'I'm ready to settle down and have 10 kids type'. I hate that. I will always go for bad boys... I don't know what it is. I also have tendency to attract the occasional computer geek... In my eyes all I see out of these guys is CHA-CHING!! haha j/k

Smuggle yourself into the engineer portion of the school. find some round-a-bout way to have to spend time in there, and dress down and youre golden. when youre on their turf anything is possible (trust me, it worked for me).

I attract all kinds of girls, but not all of any kind of girl.

In the last several years I've gone from a suicidal emotional girl to a preppy, popular bottle-blonde girl, to a glitter-goth (you know, wants to be goth, but she's really wearing an Ashley Simpson shirt that says "punk" on it), and am now dating a pretty, down-to-earth, sensible girl.

Thing is, though, it's not like ALL preps, or ALL glitter-goths are into me. It all seems pretty random.

Imaginary or far away. Never right here, right now.

I'm not sure if there's any unifying characteristic of those I attract.

But they're never the type I'm attracted to.

I think #2 is likely a small percentage of the problem, I think the biggest factor is #1... you're insanely attractive, and that makes some guys feel insecure, hesitant, and "sure she's taken"... that and someone as pretty as you makes some of us nervous just to stand near, let alone have a meaningful conversation. You may want to have a nice talk while taking a stroll somewhere, but all we can do is manage to mutter something about twinkies or lint. :)

As for me, I don't attract much to me... I usually have to get to know a girl a little, but then they fall in love with me quickly... and it's been that way with every girl i've been with... as soon as any meaningful interaction starts, they're already in love with me. *shrug* I'd rather attract women and take some time to work into love, because this makes finding good girls way harder.

That and, while i'm incredibly outgoing and social, I have ZERO ability to just walk up to a girl and start talking. I just can't.

Well, I DON'T attract anyone that I'm attracted to, apparently. That, or they're all playing hard to get.