nack104

Alright, since you guys typically know the right thing to do, I'm going to ask this here. A lot of you have seen my other thread about how the one girl doesn't know what she wants. Well, here's a story I'd like to tell and a little predicament:

So I was having a party at my house, and I called up the girl I'm dating and asked when she would be coming over. Long story short, she irritated me to the point where I said not to come over. So now a bunch of friends and some girls are over playing drinking games. By the end of the night, I end up making out and sleeping with (no sex) one of the girls. She went to high school with me, and I had a good repore with her, but we didn't talk that much. The reason I began making out with her was because she made me really attracted to her based on things we talked about. We have a lot in common, and I could see myself going out with her.

So now here's my question. I've been talking with her online since the party, and everything seems to be going well. However, I don't think she realizes that I might wanna start something with her. She might have just thought it was a one night thing, so I'm not sure what to do. I'm concerned about bringing it up, because if I freak her out, it could jeopardize the rest of the summer. My friends and her friends have been hanging out more, so it could get awkward if I scare her or something, ya know? What do you guys think I should do? I thought about asking her to do something together and seeing how that goes, but I'd still like to hear your opinion. Thanks.

tenchi069

You seem to be friends with her, so you shouldn't stress over approaching her. Just ask her out. The worst she can say is no, and then you know where you stand. It won't ruin the rest of the summer for you and the two of you will still remain friends. Being turned down from a date is not quite as drastic as a breakup. Cheers and good luck.

-tenchi

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eMOTIONal20

Ummm... first of all, what about this other girl you're dating? Di you both just decide to break it off or what? I guess perhaps I don't know what your definiton of "dating" someone would be, or how serious that makes the relationship.

Anyway, as far as this other woman goes, I suggest maybe asking her what she thought about the night you two hung out at the party. Ask her what she thinks of you maybe... just go from there.

And I agree, asking for a date and getting turned down is not the end of the world, so if that's what you feel like doing, then go for it.

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Siege

Agreed. You have to talk to the girl you are dating first! "Do not come to my party" does not mean "we are breaking up."

As for the second girl. Maybe you should get to know her more before considering asking her out. Factor in the potential of losing her as a friend completely and then see if you would still consider asking her out. If the answer is still yes, then maybe you have something.

But talk to the first girl before you do any of this...

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Martian

For those who missed the other thread, the girl he's currently dating is an 'I don't know what I want, so I'll keep us in the between friendship-relationship limbo' sort of girl. The advise over there seems to be to move on and my understanding is that they're not exactly a couple, as such.

I say go for it. I had a phase in my younger days (as did everyone) where the thought of asking someone out on a date seemed paralyzing until I realized that it's really not that big a deal to either party. You're not giving her an engagement ring or anything, just looking to see if there's a possibility for something more than friends. Think of it in the reverse; if a female friend you didn't have an interest in were to ask you, you'd likely be flattered (I know I was on the occasions it happened to me). It's really much scarier to you than it is for her and odds are she already knows anyway. We aren't as good at hiding these things as we think we are and that goes for the girls as well as the guys.

nack104

Thanks. I need to suck it up and ask without thinking of all the potential pit falls or whatnot. I've got 2 more months left in the summer, I might as well make the most of it.

As for the first girl, she told me that while she isn't dating anyone else, I have every right to date other people. If this new situation does anything, it will at least take my mind off the first girl.

Seeker

Would it be worthwhile to just ask this girl to hang out with you more often? That way you could spend more time with each other and let things just happen. That way, you don't have to worry about the seriousness of dating at such an early stage.

That would be what your worried about, scaring her off too soon yes?

Ask her to hang out with you more, not a date sort of thing. For a little while longer anyway.

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cavu

Are both of the other girls in high school? Maybe the first is just confused about having feeling for another guy who is older than her and out of HS? And do they know each other? Cuz that could be really awkward if you were kinda half foot in half foot out of the door with each.. you know? And when you do cut one off are you going to have to see the other a lot?

I think you need to talk to both girls and figure things out. Sounds like the deal with number one arn't resolved and you're confused with how far to go with number two and people online arn't going to be able to help you with that. U are just going to have to sit down in person with each one and hammer it all out.

Good luck, and hey it can't be that bad because you got TWO women who are interested in you!