nack104

This is probably more venting than anything, but here goes. I'm dating this girl, and she wants to take things really slowly. So a while ago we were making out. She was on top of me basically dry humping while I was caressing her breasts underneath her shirt. At one point she called me a tease, and I was really confused. She wants to take things slowly, and yet I'm a tease because I didn't go far enough? How far was I supposed to go?? Was I supposed to take her shirt off / bra? I wasn't allowed to take her pants off, so I don't really get it. I'm tryin to be a nice guy respecting her needs, and yet I'm not doing enough? Wtf?

fallsauce

Maybe she thinks you're purposely trying to make her want to do more than she's willing, and she's succumbing? Like, you're giving her a taste of something good, yet not going the full length. Maybe she's saying you knew it was going to make her feel this way so you shouldn't have started?

Best reason I could think of.

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nack104

Hmm, that's not a bad response. She was the one, however, who got on top of me and started the whole thing, so I'm still unsure. Thanks for your opinion.

dlish

fallsauce couldnt have put it any better... i guess take it as a compliment when she says that, because at least ure doing something right

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Daniel_

Once again it proves that women are odd.

Men will never understand them.

They have bad points as well, though.....

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MEAD

Don't worry about it. Slowly building to that moment is really the most fun way of going about it. If the person means a lot to you and you want to be with them a while then dont worry about getting into her pants right away, have fun with the teasing and going slightly further and further and discoviering new things bit by bit. Hey, we all know how much better an orgasm is when you take time to build up to it. Think of this as the ultimate.

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ratbastid

Women, man. Go fig.

martinguerre

she may want to "blame" you for how far she's choosing to go with you. that's what i hear when i read that.

talk this one out, becuase you do NOT want to get blamed for her sexual choices, especially if you go further with her.

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Ambiguity

Enjoy it man. There's something magical about the first time you get naked with the girl your seeing. Don't worry about rushing it. She's saying you a tease maybe to hint that you can take it a little further? She's not expecting the responce her body is making to you, and she doesnt want to go all out with it, so she's a little frustrated maybe.

Just enjoy it. Let her make the major moves on her own time.

nack104

Thanks. I was going to talk with her about it because the following weekend nothing happened. In fact she joked that I got more action that weekend from her dog than her... so maybe she was going farther than she really wanted to and is trying to compensate by not doing so much for a while. Instead of talking about it, I think I'll just go with the flow; whatever happens happens. We have all the time in the world anyways.

SecretMethod70

Worst phrase EVER to think in a relationship. Unless you have no intentions of this relationship lasting (in which case, why are you still seeing each other?), you should be communicating with her.

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KinkyKiwi

^ what secret said...

and from a girls point of view fallsauce may wll be right

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nack104

I know that talking is important, but if I start talking to her about every little thing that gets to me she might be turned off just like every girl before her.

One other thing.. right after she had called me a tease I asked her what she meant and she wouldn't tell me. So she was still on top of me and we were talkin about random stuff, and I mentioned how I didn't want to go too far cause I don't wanna be a jerk. And she kinda laughed saying "oh come on, you gotta be more confident." So I'm still confused, but I hate the idea of talking with her about it 2 weeks after it happened.

dirtyrascal7

you took that comment way too literally... she was just flirting and trying to get you to do more. it sounds like she expects the guy to progress things sexually, she just didn't want you to go straight for home base. don't worry about being a jerk... she'll let you know if you're going too fast or pushing her boundaries. you were doing everything right, but she was comfortable and ready to do more... she just wants you to be confident in your abilities and take the lead when being intimate.

plus, there are a lot of ways to be more intimate without going too fast... for example, when she called you a tease... you could've pulled her close, rolled her over onto her back and pinned her there, then REALLY teased her... kissing all over her face, leading towards her lips, and acting like you're going to kiss them... but then pull away. or breath deeply into her ears and whisper how into her you are...

hope this helps.

Vincentt

She said "I want to take it slow" to you becuase she doesn't want you to think she was "easy."

But, if she is calling the shots one how fast you take it. then go till she says stop.

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nack104

Interesting, thank you for the help, and thanks for the suggestion dirtyrascal. My biggest problem is previous relationships have ruined my confidence in communication and intimacy. I really need to work on that.

She repeatedly said she wants to take it slow because she's scared of getting into a relationship right now. I've only been dating her for six weeks, so I can accept that. It just hurts a little when she isn't very affectionate when talking to me on the phone or online.. maybe she's just one of those girls who's more affectionate/flirty online. It hurts because I'm trying to not get attached, yet I want to. I don't know, at the moment the little things are getting to me. That's why I said I'm gonna just take things as they come, do what I feel is right, and see what happens.

nack104

Alright I'm starting to lose hope. She told me last weekend that everything's fine, and I still believe her on her end. However, tonight, one of two nights during the week she can sleep in, she'd rather sit at home bored than have me come over, and I don't know if I can do this much longer. She doesn't treat me like a girl should treat the person their dating, and I just don't know. I feel like breaking up with her in my head just so I could stop thinking about her. Then maybe she'll eventually come around.

herostar

X infinity!~!!!!!




This exact situation has ruined 2 of my relationships in the last year... Please, for all of us, just ask her what she wants and communicate because if you don't you might end up breaking up with her and a month later find out that you both wanted the same thing and just didn't communicate it right... (uh, ya, don't get me started... I seriously thought kelli was the one for me...)

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nack104

Alright I spoke to someone tonight and they helped change my view on the situation. I'm going to be more respectful of the girl's decision to take things slowly, and I won't be so infatuated with her.

Lead543

My boyfriend calls me a tease all the time.
But he likes it....

Maybe she got caught up in the heat of the moment and wanted you to go further?

hrandani

I thought about it, and read it a couple times...that is quite a good response.

doncalypso

Sometimes I seriously doubt women know what they really want in bed... Sounds like she's confused.

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